Megow Vacations - Then/Now

I’ve had the blessing of enjoying life in several ways. Happily married with no kids. Happily married with kids, and now happily a single dad. With it being summer and time for family vacations, I wanted to kinda dissect the different ways I’ve approached family getaways over the years :)

Hahaha. You can tell that I've gotten much more laid back as in my most current stage.

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Planning the trip 

No kids: Let’s go somewhere beautiful that we can sightsee. Or somewhere with a lot of hidden trails for hiking! For sure, we need an awesome tucked away beach that no one knows about.

Married with kids: Ok. Let’s try to find somewhere that has a lot of activities and neat stores we can take the kids to! Maybe we can take them to swim with dolphins or go to Disneyworld?!

Single dad: Well considering I have about $400 bucks to make this trip happen, I just need to find somewhere remotely close to a public beach with free continental breakfast and a pool….

*Reading reviews of motels that fit that criteria*

- “This place is a nightmare. Room was messy and staff inattentive.”

*Ehhh.. Not looking good… continues to scroll*

- “Grungy looking towels.”

*Crap. I dunno about this place. I’ll read one more review*

- “I got stabbed in the parking lot, but continental breakfast features a waffle making station.”

*A waffle maker!?! Books room* 

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Packing 

No kids: “Let’s take some nice outfits so we can go to some fancy dinners while we are out.” “Also, let's bring some fun stuff to wear for at night since we can stay in bed as long as we like!"

Married with kids: “Hmmm…. I have two suitcases full of clothes, one full of crafts for the condo,

Single dad: *Assembles children the day before departing for the trip*

Me: “Guys. Wanna pack your own bags for vacation this year?!?”

Children: “Yes!!”

Me: “Remember, pack the stuff you’ll need for an entire week.”

*Checks bags the morning of the trip to find a box of crayons, 48 Littlest Pet Shop toys, a “how to do magic tricks” book, 4 fidget spinners, a tooth one of them lost last week, 17 bathing suits, and shells they bought back from the beach last year.*

Me: “Ehhhh… Close enough. Grab your toothbrush before we jump in the van to leave.”

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The car trip there

Before kids: “Isn’t it nice to take cute backroads and highways? Oooohhhh, look at that sign! A little local antique store that sells fresh boiled peanuts is only 20 miles off route… let’s go!”

Married with kids: *to spouse* “I’m so glad you loaded up the bags and mapped out the fastest route. I gave me time to make fun, little on-the-road bags.” and “Remember if anyone gets car sick, I’ll take over driving so you can sit in the back with a bucket and cold towel.”

Single dad: “AAHHH!! I know you are getting car sick! I can’t stop in the middle of the interstate. Here just throw up in the sand bucket we bought for the beach.” and “No we aren’t stopping for food, I don’t you guys to eat BEFORE we left. We only have like about 90 minutes left on the road… just eat some of those goldfish crackers you split in your cup holder last week.”

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On the beach 

No kids: “Let’s go play in the ocean for a few hours and then we can come relax in our beach chairs under our nice cool umbrella. *Deep sigh* How relaxing…”

Married with kids: *to wife* “I’m about to haul all of this stuff from the car to the beach. Pick out a nice spot!” and “Let’s alternate between one of us sitting in the sand with the younger kids and one of us out in the water with the older ones.”

Single dad: “AAAHHHH!! Don’t run out there! My hands are ful…. *drops everything* and sprints down the beach and into the ocean to grab the Olive (“almost swimmer”) from diving into the surf. *walks back to inspect dropped stuff* “Well, I hope you guys want all of our beach snacks covered and sand. Also, I think that’s our giant beach ball like 200 yards down the beach, wait it’s about to hit the lady in the face… crap! Ok no one in the water. Cmon! We gotta run half a mile down the beach to apologize to her… Well, I know you want to play in the water, but we have to apologize to that lady so let’s all go because I can’t leave you by yourself… There’s four of you and one of me. I can’t just leave you here… Wait! Where’s Neela!... Ahhh!!! That’s not our food basket sweetheart! Oh. My. Gosh. How much of those people's food did you eat?!? Ok, let’s find whoever this basket belongs to and pay them back for their food… One second Stevie… I’m looking for these people… One second PLEASE!!... ugh what is it?!?.. Titus is where?!... ”

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Nighttime 

No kids: “Let’s go out and see some local bands play! And then let’s go for a night walk on the beach!”

Married with kids: “How about we get the kids down and then we grab some wine and jump into the hot tub on the back patio?”

Single dad: “Well. They are asleep. Maybe I’ll read my book I brou… *falls asleep*

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Vacation Family Picture 

No kids: “Let’s get someone to take our picture at sunset on the beach.”

Married with kids: “Well let’s get a good picture so we can share it with family. Let’s do it later in the week so we all have some sun and aren’t super pale. Also, let’s do it later in the evening so we can go to the beach in the morning. That way the kids won’t get their matching cuffed up jeans and white shirts wet from the ocean because they will have already gotten their swimming kick in for the day.

Single dad:“Just wear whatever you want… Oh you wanna hold that dead hermit crab you found on the beach?... I mean whatever. I don’t care as long as you smile.”

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Headed Home

No kids: “That was a nice trip but I’m ready to get back to home. I miss the dogs.”

Married with kids: *to wife* “That was fun, but we need a vacation from this vacation. The kids are burnt out and I’m exhausted.”

Single dad: “Sorry guys, it’s the last day… No we can’t stay longer, we have to turn in the key this morning… I wish we could stay too... Well… actually we did bring the tent… State park here we come!”

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth

Late Summer Nuggets

-We went to the beach. PS. I peed in the ocean every day. Ahhhhhh. Refreshing :)

  

We caught like a million hermit crabs, a starfish, blue crabs, and saw a sting ray.

 -Neela and Titus both had mini birthday parties at the beach condo

Two separate parties and reused decorations ;)

 - Titus learned to swim with no floaties. He’s ultra proud of this. So am I :)

 -Olive’s current favorite toy is a calculator. She’s been playing with this thing almost daily for two months.

- I learned the only thing worse than having diarrhea in July in a portapotty is having diarrhea in a portapotty in July in a portapotty with no toilet paper.

-Stevie’s big teeth grew in. She’s growing up so fast.

-The following conversation occurred on a ride home from work/daycare

Titus: I don’t want to grow up. I want to be a kid forever

Seth: Why buddy?

Titus: When you are grown up, you are old and you are about to die.

Seth: (laughing) Do you think I’m old?

Stevie: Yes. You are 32. That means you are an old man.

Seth: (still laughing) Stevie. I’m only 31.

Stevie: Oh Sorry. You are almost old.

Neela: Dad, can we have my birthday party before you turn 32?.... Just in case…

- We have a new(ish) cat. Neela rescued her from the woods a month or two ago at my parents’ house in Alabama. The kids have taken great care of her. Actually, they have already thrown her two parties. One of them was a small affair with presents and snacks, however, the other one they made invitations and passed them out door to door in the neighborhood. Stevie made up games and activities. Neela and Titus made cat masks for all of the party attendees. They actually had like 7-8 kids come over for the party. It was super cute.

-Titus is dead set on getting a pair of Hearing Aids for his birthday. I tried to explain that he has perfect hearing and does not need them, but this only increases his desire to have them. He believes they will give him a “hearing superpower”. Also, he can “turn them off when he doesn’t want to hear his sisters”. He’s dead serious. He wants hearing aids and a snow cone maker. Haha

- Sometimes my kids come to work with me. They have their little space they hang out in that is the room right next to mine. For the most part, they are extremely self-sufficient. However, occasionally there is a disagreement or something. So I said up a little chat window so we can talk without me having to walk away from my desk if I’m on the phone or something. It’s supposed to be for emergencies, this is our chat from the last time they were at work.

I still have no clue where they got cheese from at work.

-Speaking of work, the kids found some old poster boards that I was about to throw away & made a sweet fort out of some duct tape I had in my office. They even colored it and gave it a sunroof 

-Stevie still makes me lay with her and sing Goodnight God before bed. Every night. :)

- Olive is convinced that she has a baby in her belly. I told her that you have to be married and grown up before you can have a baby. Her response “I ate a flower. Now I’m growing a baby. I’m naming her Flower.” Fun Fact: Apparently, her baby’s favorite song is “I Love Rock and Roll” by Joan Jett. She insists that I play it constantly J

- Titus is really into the color baby blue lately. Most of his outfits resemble something like this.

- I surprised Stevie with a new remote so we can play Zelda together again. This is her favorite time together. She always picks this activity for her “alone time with Dad”. Normally, we sit together and I play while she keeps a journal full of notes and drawings about the game. It’s one of my favorite things in the entire world.

- We are having our first campout for Neela’s real birthday party.  We are making smores, frog hunting, tell stories, and sleeping in our tent in our back yard. I’m super excited because for her birthday, she wants a “kid frog hunting” kit. Last year, she wanted an animal finder kit. So for this year’s kit, I’m getting Neela her own net, some nice boots, and a head mounted flashlight.

She's getting so good at catching the big ones!

- My dad bod kinda snuck up on me. They are trendy now right? ;)

- We had Christmas in July with some friends.

 - Titus figured out to snap. Stevie learned how to make realistic fart noises.

- I found my brother Graham’s twin in Iowa.

Graham is on the left.

 - I’ve adopted a new method of mopping my floor.

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth

Summer Vacation (A Kid’s Perspective)

Guest Author: 10 Year Old Seth

The “old man Seth” asked me to write about the beach for his blog because he wanted a kid’s perspective. I said “what the heck is a blog? It sounds like what I would call a wet, squishy log I found in the woods.” At first I said no because it sounded boring. Also, I told old man Seth to get some better hobbies than playing with squishy logs. He said he would do my homework for me. That made me says “yes.” Speaking of homework, here’s a secret… when you get to 4^th grade you have to take Penmanship so you can write good. I’m supposed to do 2 pages a nigh in my Penmanship book. I’m about to done with this school year and I haven’t even opened the book and done one page yet. I’m supposed to turn in the finished book next week. So yesterday I just threw it in the pond. I’m going to tell my teacher asks for us to turn in our handwriting books, I’m just going to sneak out to the bathroom and hope for the best. Ok. Let’s get started.

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Going to the beach is my second favorite thing in the world. Christmas is first. Duh.

I’m really hoping for….

Please God. Let me get a Talk Boy for Christmas.

Here's the reasons why I like the beach.

1) Big Waves. I get to boogie board and body surf big waves. That’s probably what I the most about the beach. Last year, my dad let me go to the sand bar all by myself. The sandbar is neat because the water is only up to your knees but the waves are ginormous. The worst part about liking big waves and the sand bar is you have to wake up at the butt crack of dawn for high tide. On vacation, it’s the worst waking up earlier than you do for school, but it’s worth it once you get to the beach.

2) Speaking of waves, I always save my morning bathroom visit so I can pee in the ocean. I don’t like peeing through my swimsuit, so I just go deep in the ocean where no one can see and pee like regular. Sometimes I get worried that a shark will bite my wiener off, but I do it anyways.

Shark Snack

3) The ocean water and the pool shower count as being cleaning, so I don’t have to take a shower or bath. I know the ocean is full of fish pee (and my pee) but I still feel so clean after swimming in it. I love the feeling with all of the ocean water dries on your skin and you stretch and it feels like you are ripping off a layer of exoskeleton or something.

4) Cable. We don’t have cable tv at our house. It’s neat to have it at the beach. My favorite show is the incredible hulk from a long time ago. But, having cable is kind of bad too. I am convinced my dad calls the tv station to get the date of “Shark Week” and books our beach vacation the same week just to freak us out. I promise every time I look at the tv, I see some video of a shark ripping some guys arm. That’s exactly what I like to see immediately before jumping in the ocean.

Dad – “Look at that monster. It just ripped that surfer guy in half. Ok, have fun in the ocean!”

5) Food. I get to eat sandwiches and chocolate milk like every day for lunch. Plus, my mom always does a big seafood night. I eat some many shrimp my fingers start to cramp from unshelling them. Also, my mom makes cakes sometimes. Last year she made my favorite cake. The next day, I walked in the kitchen and she was making another one! I was about to eat it, but she said it was for our friends that we go on vacation with. Their condo was next door. She asked me to take it to them, so I put the cake on a nice plate and walked out the front door. But right when I got out, I snuck into that little storage room that’s always outside of condos (to keep boogie boards, sand toys, and stuff in). You know the one with all of the cobwebs in it.

Oh hello spiders, don’t mind me. I’m just enjoying some cake.

I shut the door and sat in there and ate the entire cake except for one slice. I used a pool towel to clean off the plate and took it to our friends. I handed it to my friends’ mom and said “My mom made a cake and wanted you to have some.” She said, “Well, isn’t that so sweet. Thank you for bringing it over!” Hahahahahahaha!!!! The world will never know. PS. Old Seth said this would be on the internet, so I should be careful what I say. But I’ve never even heard of the” internet”, so I think he’s just being a big doofus. Seriously, someone tell me when I grow up to get a hobby or something.

6) The car ride. My brothers and sister hate the car ride, but I like it. I’m smart and get in the car WAY early and get the best seat in the van. Me and my brother play the wave game and alphabet game. I like the wave game the most. Here’s how you play that game.

Wave game rules: You wave people in other cars. If they wave back, you get a point. A person can only be counted as one point and they can’t be used again (even by another person). If they are two lanes away, you get 2 points. Here’s where it gets fun. If someone waves to you before you wave at them, you get double points. Normally, I just stare at grownups in other cars on the interstate. I used to make funny faces but that never got a wave, they just laughed.

So now I just make this face at everyone in other cars...

 I'm guessing it normally goes like this in the other car. 

“There’s a kid in the van next us being super weird.”

“Just acknowledge you see him and maybe he’ll stop.”

“How should I do that?”

“I don’t know. Just wave or something”

BOOM!!! Double Points!

7) The Sauna. It’s supposed to be for grown-ups, but we go in anyways. Mostly, me and best friend Luke go together (His family goes on vacation the same time as us every year. They are the people who I ate their cake). Anyways, he’s really good at staying in there for a long time. There are these rocks you pour hot water on and it makes steam.  I get so hot and feel like I’m about to faint, but we just keep making it hotter and hotter. Finally, when we can’t take anymore, we sprint out of the sauna and jump into the ice cold pool. It feels so amazing! Plus, there’s this old guy that just lives in the condo place we go to. We talk to him every year. He’s super-duper old. I think his name Frank. He says that he never gets sick because he just “sweats all out in the hot box”. When I’m old, I’m just going to live at the beach and sit in the “hot box” instead of going to the doctor. I don’t really like the doctor anymore. I’m too old for the doctor to let me pick out of the treasure box. But I still ask if I can. They have these cool parachute army guys in there that I like to launch out of my window. Whenever I ask for the treasure box, the doctor looks at me the way adults look at teenagers who show up on their doorstep for trick or treat.

"Typically, I don’t hand out my candy to people with Learner’s Permits.”

So I can just skip all of those doctor appointments if I live somewhere with a sauna. I mean Frank is old as crap and he’s still alive. He must be onto something.

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So that’s why I like the beach. Old man Seth is here to do my math homework. PS. He also told me how to get out of my penmanship book situation. He said the teacher won’t even care that about my penmanship book being at the bottom of the pond if I play my cards right. All I need to do is write her a funny poem (in really good cursive) and tape it to a carton of fresh eggs that I need to sneak out of the house. He said it worked for him. So I’ll probably give it a try.

Fun Fact - If you fart in a jar and seal it up quick, it will stay for smelly for a while. But it’s funner to go outside and light your farts on fire with a match.

Signed,
Robert Seth Megow, Age 10