Why I Love Being a Single Dad

Divorce/Separation is the worst. Not being able to be around your kids all of the time is heart wrenchingly painful. However, in this post, I’m not going to (try to not) focus as much on the negatives of single parenting, but highlight the parts of being a single dad that I love. However, remember that my kids are with my 24/7 so my situation is a bit different than others.

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I feel so extremely blessed with my life. I get to be around my kids all of the time. People are constantly asking me if I need a break or would I enjoy having them away from me on the weekends. I guess that would be nice on occasion, like 2 nights a month. But in all honesty, I freaking love being around my kids. It’s why I love being a single dad. I get to be with them all the time. Let me break down why I love it.

"It's gonna be a great post, today!" 

First off, This may sounds strange upon first reading but I'm ultra grateful that I'm a single dad and not a single mom because*soapbox alert* I talk about this a lot, but single dads seriously do have it WAY easier than single moms. Is that fair or right? Absolutely not. It’s simply the world we live in. I couldn’t imagine being a single mom in this day and age. For me as a full time single dad, I feel like people view me and the kids as a fun commodity to look at or observe. Hahaha. While unfortunately full time single moms are just accepted in our culture as a “normal thing”. For example, when I show up somewhere and my kids are looking semi-feral and in mismatched clothes, I can feel other parents go “Awe… look he’s trying his best. Those kids are so cute. Look at their little mismatched clothes” I’m not in this for sympathy, I’m just trying my best. However, I feel like if a single mom showed up to the exact same event with kids looking the exact same manner, some people might think “Look at those kids. She really needs to take better care of them.” It’s the exact situation, I just feel as a parent (especially of younger children), women are held to such an insanely high standard in our society. So all this being said, single moms are my freaking heroes. Both single dads and single moms are just trying their best, but moms just have so much more parenting pressure. They are still responsible for balancing money, cleaning, etc. (just like single dads), but when it comes to pressures to have perfectly groomed, dressed well-behaved, polite, and involved children, they get judged so much more harshly than men. So in response to this. Single moms are doing both roles (mom and dad) just like single dads. Pouring into both roles can be exhausting. I mean freaking Geez-Louise, our society is going to have to cut them some slack somewhere.  *end of soapbox*

Next, being a dad is fun. It’s not just blanket forts and burping contests with the kids, but if a dad is doing it right, those are both important elements of successful fathering ;) hahaha.

  

Seriously, having the kids with me is the funnest thing ever. I get to learn so much about them. All their individual little quirks, strengths, desires, annoyances, everything!! It's like being fully submersed in their lives and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I mean seriously is it possible to find a group of cooler kids than these!!!

This was on a day they came to work with me. For important it was a "dress yourself" day :D

Being a dad also comes with big responsibilities. Generally, in a co-parent home, I believe these tend to come from two places: 1) Listening to mom about where the kids are emotionally, physically, etc. Moms are just generally so much more empathetic and involved day to day (again, especially with young kids). They are the experts in my opinion, no doubt. Basically, trusting her enough as far as parenting to know what’s best.  2) Decisions of more of a big picture type. Not that I think women are and should be any less involved in decision making at all, I just mean I think a man should protect, guide, and most take responsibility for his family. So that means the buck stops with him. So mostly, it’s just a responsibility thing. Ok. I kind of got off track. My point is that being a single dad means I need to encompass both of these roles. Kids need firm boundaries but also room to explore. A sense of whimsy and wonder but also a steady and reliable parent. Kids need fun and unexpected nonsense, but also routines and schedules. Since it’s just me doing all of this, it was crazy uncomfortable and awkward at first. I felt like a piece of hard clay being squeezed through a playdoh spaghetti maker. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t fit the mold of both me and Crissy combined. In my head, I needed to be this for my kids. By our late twenties, we are generally pretty set in who we are and why we do the things we do. Thankfully, my life took a crazy, turn by giving me a few horrific years and dumping a crazy amount of responsibility solely in my lap. However, I soon learned what a blessing I was given. I didn’t need to be “Seth and Crissy” to my kids. I just needed to be “Seth” and the best version of me ever. God radically altered my life. My personality changed, my empathy level increased, my positivity went up, my stress level went down, my general outlook on life improved. It’s all because I was given the job title of “Single Dad”. That’s my second reason I love it so much, it formed me into the person I’ve always wanted to be, but was too stubborn and set in my ways to let that happen. Being in a single father position I was forced to let God stretch and kneed me, so I could be pliable and fit whatever mold I needed to be in, whatever the stage of life I might find myself.

Finally, I know this sounds selfish, but I love the freedom it provides. If my kids want to wear something weird to school or bring a (rescued from the highway) turtle to the store in a cardboard box while we shop, well… I love being able to say “yes” without having to run it by another adult.

"People are going to LOVE this turtle."

Since I’m around them all the time, I can kind of encourage whatever special traits I see in them. It’s no debating on whether Stevie should take dance classes or art lessons. I just make my choice, and we do it. Mostly, I can raise them as weird as I want. I love weirdness. I absolutely adore it. Normalcy is so boring to me. I love having free reign over the amount of weirdness allowed in my house. I know kids have to learn to function in society, but they are kids only once. If they want to go play with ketchup in the tub, well I don’t really care. Pretty much, I encourage any kind of strange idea they have. They want to invent slime to help their hair grow faster? Sure. They want to eat a cricket? Sure. Want dad to act super fun at someone's house and let people paint his face? Sure. 

 

Instead of limiting and banning specific activities/things, my kids just know a few basic rules: 1) Be kind 2) Don’t hurt yourself or anyone else 3) Don’t make too big of a mess 4) Clean up after said mess 5) Eat vegetables every day 6) Respect yours and other people’s bodies and feelings 7) If you barf, do it anywhere but the carpet or bed.   That’s pretty much it. If what you want to do, meets those criteria, go for it! For instance, at Stevie’s 8^th birthday party, it was raining so instead of cancelling the piñata. I had the idea for an indoor piñata. Based on the faces of every mom in attendance, I’m sure if I were married, I would have gotten the “don’t even think about it” look. Fortunately for me and the kids, I’m not, so I can do things my way. So you can bet your butt we had an indoor piñata, and that junk was hysterical and fun.

To quote a mom that was in attendance:

"It was risky to fairly safe" 

Hahaha!!

I mean in reality, it’s ultra tough at times. Another helping hand and encourager would be nice, but I’m just so in love with my life currently that God is going to have to knock me on my butt with a woman that I feel just clicks. Right now though, I can’t think of a single thing better than taking my kids to the park, just them and me. Receiving 100% of their corny jokes, hilarious stories, heart talks, and hugs. It just can’t be beat.

I wanted to end this post with one of my favorite little “Megowisms”, but I couldn’t decide between two. That means I will just post them both. Aaaahhhhh… personal freedom. :D

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth

The Megows: A-Z

A - Awesomest Kids on the Planet

It's no secret that I think my kids are legit the coolest humans on the planet, but I wanted to talk about this more in depth. It's hard to put into words how awesome they are because sometimes they literally leave me speechless. hahahaha. For example, tonight after dinner I walked into the kitchen to find Titus and Olive sitting on the floor, randomly wearing swimsuits and googles, and both chugging ice water out of sand bucket pails. Meanwhile, Neela was laying on the couch with her bearded dragon on her chest watching How to Train Your Dragon because "she needs to learn more about her own kind". Finally, Stevie was sitting in her room drawing little pictures to give our friends at school and singing "Strawberry Fields Forever" quietly to herself.

They are just all so unique and full of life. I love how they randomly pair up sometimes and at other instances, they sit by themselves to dive into something that interests them. They are the most kind, helpful, hilarious, cheerful, and loving humans that I have ever met. I freaking love those four little people :)

B - Birthdays

With four kids, there's always a birthday around the corner. And that's pretty ok with me. We love us some birthdays. From the planning to the actual event, there's just so much to enjoy. I love putting in time to make them feel special. As my kids get older, they are all chipping it in help with each others' parties as well. It melts my heart to see them get genuinely excited about making their siblings feel special. It's hard to do big things for just one kid with the way our family is setup, but birthdays are the perfect opportunity for that. I've written some posts about all of our past birthday parties. You can read about them here! 

C - Cats

 

Because... Duh. Cats

D -Dirty kids

I love when my kids come in muddy and their clothes are just so filthy from exploring, playing, and experimenting. This is a good thing since they seem to stay coated in an exoskeleton of dirt.

E - Excitable

Seth: "Hey guys. Do you want me to hook up the sprinkler and fill up th..."
Kids *before I can finish*: "AAAAHHHH  YYEESSS!!" (as they sprint to the backyard stripping off their clothes)

F - Frog Hunts

Maybe we've just got frog huntin' on our brains because the season to catch our favorite amphibians is approaching fast. If you visit our house on a steaming hot South GA summer night, there's a high likely hood that you'll catch us in the ditch.

"Prepping for a hunt"

"One of our frogs.

Dont worry we catch and release :) "

G - Good Lookin'

Not trying to brag but Geez Louise do I have some good looking youngins.

H - How did you make someone smile today?

This one might be my favorite. For a few years now, we go around the dinner table and we each have to say "How did you make someone smile today?" It's just one of those little things I love about my family so much.


I - It's gonna be a great day

Our family song. I made it up one morning a few years ago. It's now just become a normal part of our mornings :)

J - Jokes

All of us love to tell a good joke. Olive will tell you an endless amount of nonsense Knock Knock Joke, while Stevie might go with her staple "Why can't you get Elsa a balloon?" - "Because she will let it go." :D I prefer to embrace my role as a father by annoying everyone around me with classic dad jokes.

K - Kids

I love kids. They are so much cooler than adults. We have sleepovers and friends over quite frequently. In my opinion, once you are quadruple outnumbered, who's even counting anymore :)

L - Lunch trays

School lunch trays are served about every night at dinner. It helps me remember to fill each slot with healthy foods. Plus, aren't they just so fun! :D

M - Mr Rogers

Duh. M would be Mr. Rogers. If you follow my instagram or facebook, I'm constantly sharing Mr. Rogers quotes. He's my personal hero. I simply loved his view on life. I've even wrote a post specifically about why I love him so much.

N - Nature

Yay for outside, bugs, hiking, rainstorms, camping, critters, mud, climbing trees, exploring, flowers, clouds, and adventures!!

O - Odor

I'm not gonna lie. My kids can do activities and have fun that produce smells that are undescribable. Just imagine "little kid after playing outside for a few hours" mixed with farts and hummus breathe. I love these kids, but wow. Two words: Bath Time ;)

P - Parks

My crew are park connoisseurs. We know about every park within 20 miles. I mean why wouldn't we? It's free fun, and I hate the idea of getting into a rut of activities... For instance going to the same park over and over and over and doing the same things time and time again. I like that my kids love to switch it up. However, they each have their own favorites.

Q - Quiet Time

Wait... What's quiet time?

R - Rambunctious

This Megow characteristic is why I never get the "Quiet Time" previously mentioned... :)

Hahaha. Side note: My kids love Frozen Yogurt.

S - Single parenting

Yup. Just me and my kiddos. They are why I smile. They are my drive to succeed. They are the reason I'm happy to lose sleep. They are the joy in my heart.

T - Talented

Whether it's art, magic tricks, talking to "aminals", or fashion. Each of them shines in their own special talents.

My gorgeous little artist lost in thought...  

U - Untidy

Megows are a naturally untidy people. My office desk is a wreck and our house is usually not much better. HOWEVER!! Me and the kids have been trying ultra hard lately to turn this around!! I must say I'm pretty proud of the progress we have made. :)

The Patented Megow Mopping Method

V - VSU 

My job... Valdosta State University. My co-workers have pretty much adopted my kids as part of our team up there. I can't say it enough how grateful I am for my job, bosses, and co-workers.

My kids are PROFESSIONALS at sitting quietly and ultra well behaved at college events :)

W - Waffles

Because Waffles is the most important word to start with "w"

X - X marks the spot

Treasure Hunts! Scavenger Hunts! Clue Hunts! Challenge Hunts! My kids love looking for treasure, and I love to plan them out! :)

Y - Yes!!

I hear it all the time. "People need to learn to say No". While that can be good advice, I try to instill the desire to say "Yes!". When people are in need, just help! If you have a neat idea on how to bless someone, just do it! We stay pretty busy, but I pray that when my kids get older they will always remember their childhood was spent serving others.

Z - Zelda 

Each of my kids have special time with dad at various nights of the week. We call this alone time. It's so hard to get these one on one moments. The kids and I thoroughly enjoy it. And it all started with Stevie's love of Zelda. We started carving out time for us to sit alone and play her favorite game of all time. Zelda. I love how those few minutes playing that game (I don't really play video games btw) turned into such a rich tradition for our family.

My princess Zelda :)

Well that's the Megows A-Z. Hope you enjoyed and have a great day!

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth 

Welcome Kelly's Korner Readers

Well hello there... Didn't see you come in. 

Why don't you lay back from that keyboard and relax awhile. 

Hahaha. But for real, welcome to "Who put my iPad in the Dishwasher". This post is a basic introduction to the Megow way of life and our blog for new readers visiting from Kelly's Korner. I try to make this thing somewhat entertaining and different from most blogs around these parts. My goal for this site is to give an unfiltered look behind our unique family and lifestyle. I am a full time single dad of four kids who works full time at a local university. I'm sure every parent thinks this, but I'm convinced my kids are one of the most hilarious, yet kind and loving group of human beings ever assembled in the history of mankind.

This is my crew and favorite people in the world!!!

Things for the most part are pretty light hearted here. Megows try not to take themselves too seriously. Most things are pretty funny and usually involve either poop, bugs, kids cutting their own hair, sticky floors, or a combination of everything previously mentioned, However, at times I'll mix in a little activity or craft idea. Also, I sometimes touch on serious subjects like divorce and single parenting. 

I also enjoy getting to showcase my kiddos. They are simply magnificent in every way :) It's such a neat idea to share things I discover about them or funny things they do with the world. I'll link up little bios I wrote about each of them. Just click on their name under each picture to read more about them.

Stevie (age 7) - "The Sweetheart"

Neela (Age 6) - "The 'Aminal' Lover"

Titus (Age 5) - "The Future Power Ranger"

Olive (Age 4) "The 100% Diva/Jokester"

If nothing else, this blog is just my way to reach out to people and remind them that life is what you make it. So I hope this place makes you smile. :) 

Here's some of my favorite posts to give you a feel of what makes this blog so special to me:

Children - "The Anti-Birth Control"

"Ummm Seth... Your Floor is Sticky."

Finding Confidence After My Divorce

 Some "Adult" Funny Stories - 'Male Lingerie' and 'The Horrors of Umbros'

Also, be sure to check out our Facebook and Instagram. That's the blog's Facebook page, but that's my personal Instagram. I share alot of little things that don't make on here. 

Be Blessed,

Seth

Learn about the Megow Kids’ Names

Recently, I was hanging out with some of my favorite people Zach and Emily Parker (http://www.journeyofparenthood.com), and they suggested I do a post about my kids’ names. At church the following Sunday, we talked a little about the names of God and the meaning behind the names. So given both of those things, I figured it would be a great time to talk about their names. I’ll just go chronologically.

Stevie Joy Megow

Stevie- She was named Stevie after her granddad Steve Weldon (Crissy’s dad). He and her mom Karen are simply fantastic people. They are both very sacrificing and humble. Stevie’s gender was kept a surprise, so we didn’t know if we were going to have a “Titus” or “Stevie” until the moment she came out. Fun side note, the day Crissy went into labor I had a mega zit on my face. This thing was pretty much Mount Olympus. She was in labor for a few hours and Stevie got stuck, so it was kind of a waiting game for the birthing process. I knew that since this was the first kid there were going to be a ton of pictures. I don’t remember much about that day, it was crazy. I think I just kind of zoned out and felt like I was in the way since there were about 3 nurses, a midwife, and the doctor all in the room. So during the break between contractions and prepping for the c-section, I snuck off to the bathroom to get rid of this thing. Anyways, I just remember everyone was like “Where the heck is Seth?!” and I peeked out of the bathroom and said “We are both trying to give birth here” and pointed to my pimple. Hahaha. It clearly wasn’t the best time to make a joke. Crissy did great and Stevie was born happy and healthy (and I just left the volcanic eruption to take place later that day). 

So back to Stevie’s name… It was also just kind of symbolic. Crissy was the first born of her siblings and Steve pretty much raised her by himself for the first few years of her life (before he met Karen and they got married). It was just a way of give honor to a man that gave up pretty much all of his teenage years to work hard and raise a little girl by himself.

Joy – All of my girls were named after some aspect of God.

 

Stevie’s first nursery. So thankful for friends who helped do this!

 Autumn Orozco (who did the tree) & Felicia Love (who did the calligraphy)

I loved this room and truly miss this little room.

The reason the name “Joy” was chosen was the honor my Nana “Joye Megow”. I remember her telling me that she wanted to meet one of my babies before she passed. When she told me that, I remember that was the moment her not being with me really set in. I truly loved her and my Papa so much. (I actually talked a little about my papa on the blog, read it here). After my Papa died, me and my Nana became really close. I used to go over there as much as possible and she would just make me laugh so hard. She was also the sweetest person ever, but had a bit of feistiness in her that I loved. Gosh, I have so many stories about my Nana that I might just a post about her someday. However, one of my favorite things about her is she always drank Lemon Lime Gatorade. Sometimes, she would cook this extravagant 3 course fancy dinner and would serve it with a bottle of Gatorade J It’s little things like that, that make me miss her so much. I wanted to carry on her legacy, so hence the name Joy (although it’s spelled different and Joye wasn’t my Nanas given name). Her real name was Gertrude which she apparently hated hahahaha. Ok. I will stop talking about my Nana or I will probably just keep going on and on with funny little tidbits I loved about her. I did share one hilarious story about her and Facebook awhile back (check it out here).

 

Fun Fact: My nana got to meet and get to know all four of my kids J

The name Joy is so well suited for her. My Stevie is such a JOY. She constantly is doing the most kind and generous acts. Plus, I love her sense of humor. I could listen to her tell fart jokes and make up silly songs all freaking day. Everyone that spends time with her will definitely pick that up. (Duh, I think my kids are the coolest). Hahahaha.

Neela Grace

 

Neela – Truthfully, the name Neela just popped in my head one day when I was thinking about my great-grandmother, Leila (pronounced the same as Neela except for the first letter). I called her “Mamaw”. (I don’t have any pictures digitalized :/ )  Anyways, my Mamaw was just so awesome. She was constantly doing something and was so sweet. I used to love spending the night over there, because she would order just me a Pizza Hut “Bigfoot” pizza and laugh as I attempted to eat the whole thing. She also used to live close to us growing up, I remember me and my older brother, Thad, walking through the woods to go to her house. Once we got there, I would climb up in her trees and eat apples and pears. She would always bring me out something to drink. It’s actually one of those childhood feelings that are super heartwarming. I picture that’s what Heaven feels like, but like a million times more intensely better. Also, she gave me my first bible (that I still have)! Considering how much I loved her and how much I loved the name Neela when I thought of it, I was pretty persistent that was going to be her name. As Neela gets older, she actually reminds me so much of the great woman she is named after. They are both busy bodies and ALWAYS outside. I remember my Mamaw being like 87 years old and out there picking weeds. Hahaha. Neela is pretty much always on her hands and needs outside as well, but instead of gardening, she is usually digging for bugs or critters. J

I also love that Neela pretty much cares nothing about what she wears.

She just wants to get out and learn about some nature!

Grace- Hahahaha. When Neela was around two, the common Megow joke was the Neela needed so much Grace, it is was in her name. Not only was she about the clumsiest kid you had ever seen, but she was known to be fairly difficult to manage ;)  However as she has grown, she has really started to exhibit a real grace in her life. Neela is in the one in our house that NEVER holds a grudge. The other kids at times tend to harp on past grievances against their brother or sisters, but Neela hardly ever does. She is just so quick to forgive and truly let go of any anger or mean spirit. Her outlook is so positive and delightful. I love seeing her always wanting to be first to forgive and hug. Really that extends way past just our home life. Neela is constantly walking up to people in public and telling them nice things or giving them hugs. It’s a great reminder that God’s grace for my and everyone’s crap to see this little girl just loving people. I absolutely love it about her :D

Titus Robert

Titus- I remember being about 16 years old living with my parents and thinking “When I have a son, I’m going to name him Titus.” And I did. Hahahaha. Actually, as I got older one of my favorite Bible verses in found in Titus.

Titus someone who I think naturally gets this concept. He knows God loves him so much. Instead of giving and serving others to benefit himself or to look kind to others, he really has grasped the idea of living an unselfish life and pointing the reason to Jesus. Titus seriously is the most giving individual I have ever met. I’ve told this story before, but one time at his birthday party after unwrapping presents, he starting giving his unopened presents to his friends. He loves finding money, just so he can give it away. I honestly think it’s a spiritual concept he can’t understand at his young age. It’s the concept of acknowledging that God is so abundantly merciful and gracious that pretty much all of our good deeds aren’t worth anything to save ourselves. Once we grasp this and accept this, we want to just draw into this Amazing Goodness. Maybe it’s just me, but when I draw close to God, I just want to serve, give, and help. I see my Father give and love, and I want to make him proud by being as close to him as I can be. I believe Titus innately has this sense of humility in him. As a father of a son, it’s pretty much the best thing I can imagine to see in my boy. He makes me so proud and I learn so much about God’s desire to bless us just watching him. He’s my little buddy J

Robert - Besides being named after a one of the early founders of the church, his name Robert is a family name that runs pretty deep in my family. My granddad’s name was “Robert S. Megow”. My dad’s name is “T. Robert Megow”. My name is “Robert S. Megow”. I wanted to keep this going with my son, so I named him “T. Robert Megow”. It’s a great way to acknowledge my lineage and also to honor my dad. My dad is awesome. He’s pretty much great at everything he does and is also so giving and self-sacrificing. My dad is always putting himself last to help people. The more I see Titus more and become more humble, the more I see my dad in him. It makes me really excited to see that. My dad is awesome and my hero.

Titus with his Paw (my dad)

Side note: I really hope Titus names his son “Robert S. Megow”. To me that would just be so neat.

Olive Hope

Olive – Last but not least is my little baby girl Olive. Honestly, by now you’re probably suspecting some amazing story about how Olive’s name was chosen. Well truthfully, after watching the movie “Little Miss Sunshine” and we just fell in love with that name.

If you haven’t seen this movie, watch it. It’s hilarious.

Just a warning, it’s not really appropriate for children at all. Hahahaha.

Congratulations Olive, you’re named after a movie not appropriate for children. :)

Really though, I love the way her name was created. It’s so spontaneous and fun; like “Hey, let’s name our kid that!”  When I think about it, it reminds me not to over think things and to look for God is the little places you wouldn’t think to look. Olive definitely does not overthink. At all. That girl is pretty much spur of the moment. She loves to be spontaneous and do things on a whim. I love that about her. As long as we are going, she usually has a big cheesy grin :) Seriously, all of my other kids like to specifically plan what they are going to do and how they are going to do it. Not Olive, she just goes and plans later. In a 30 minute window, she has seriously done the following: Ride her bike in a Minnie Mouse costume barefoot, took a bubble bath in said costume, played with the tarantula, made up a song on the piano, and ended by eating a can of green peas. She just kind of does what she wants, when she wants to do it. I know she’s younger, but I can already see this little trait in her. She’s definitely her own person and my first and only “Diva”. Hahahaha. I secretly love it…

Hope – I absolutely love that my last child was given the name “Hope”. It’s after my favorite scripture and probably a lot of you guys’ favorite too.

God has a plan to give us HOPE and a future. Olive was a little tiny when stuff started going down in my life. I will never forget the night, I was sleeping alone in the bed and just prayed out loud for God to show me some sort of physical affection. I promise a few minutes later I heard the door open, Olive climbing up next to me in my bed, giving me sweet kiss on the lips, and going back to her room. I know it sounds like I just make that stuff up, but it actually happened exactly like that. Immediately, I thought of that verse. Sometimes, I just love to look at her sweet little bucktoothed face and be reminded that God does have plans for me. They are filled with Hope and a Future :)

Be Blessed,

Seth