Intelligence vs Wisdom

So this post isn't really about me or the kids, it's just something that's been floating around my head lately. I figured I would just type it up. :)

With all of the amount of information accessible nowadays, it seems everyone is able to research and learn about various topics/subjects that interest them. I love that. The ability to learn about things that I might want to know more about is just so neat. However, the more I observe the behavior and mindset of our society in general, I can't but notice that intellect is taking the place of wisdom. Again, the purpose of this post isn't to downplay the importance of learning or bash the idea of being intelligent. This is just my personal opinion on the matter of isolating facts/opinions vs true wisdom.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone walks in a room and wants everyone to know they are the smartest person there. Every conversation they are a part of, they instantly offer the "right opinion" or the "correct answer" to any question that is posed (or not even posed). I really think it's great to have opinions and the ability to give advice if asked. But at times even if we might be knowledgeable on a topic, know statistics, and able to give examples to support our argument, I've learned it's better to apply wisdom rather than intelligence.

In my opinion constantly interjecting an opinion or giving unsolicited advice is unnecessary. I truly despise when people love to debate on basically every topic that is presented before them. I think I'm speaking from personal experience. -For years and years, I ALWAYS had the right answer. I constantly knew exactly what people needed to do and didn't mind telling them. In fact, I was convinced that this was an act of service. If someone was going through something hard, I would immediately offer advice and the right way to resolve their issue. I mean I had read about this, so I knew was I was talking about.- However, the more mature I became and the closer I drew to God, He pointed out that all of my unsolicited "expertise" was mostly just to make myself feel valuable and important. I wanted people to know that I was smart and impress them by how much I knew about any particular topic. I slowly began to realize that I was stunting my wisdom growth by boasting my intelligence. The more I began to observe and listen, the more I learned that wisdom is truly something one doesn't need to verbally boast about. It's something people feel, see, notice about us. If I really wanted to help and serve people, they needed my compassion, a listening ear, and a helping hand rather than just statistic and facts.

No matter how many statistics or books someone has read on a subject, I'm learning that no one can truly understand anyone's situations, decisions, or problems fully. The older I get and the more I seek to have true wisdom, the more I realize I don't know. However, I have learned that empathy and compassion are sometimes far more important in certain situations that book knowledge. The reason I feel this is because I think as a society we focus on all of the information we accumulate on a specific topic, than each person that is affected by said topic.

 Real wisdom starts with love not knowledge. Because if we love before we learn, there's a true selflessness that comes to light. Instead of just learning a bunch of knowledge we can apply whenever it's profitable for us, we learn about the person that we now love.

For example, I can't begin to fathom the pain of losing a child or having to see my child suffer with a serious medical condition. While it's great to be able to give advice or tips, I truly believe that we must knowledge that fact that we will not understand exactly what people without really loving them first. Instead of listing off some bullet points we read in a facebook article "10 helpful tips for dealing with grief" or just immediately giving an opinion on how we would handle the situation, showing the person love is the most important... During my divorce and now as a single parent, I can't even begin to list off the countless amounts of unsolicited advice given to me. These people had all the facts and knew exactly what I needed to do. However, I never asked for their opinion in the first place. To be honest, a lot of the counsel I did seek was from people that weren't even knowledge in those areas. I didn't want to talk to someone who had "all the right answers"; I wanted someone who I knew truly loved and cared about me. I sought them out specifically because of that. And guess what, they didn't just ramble off facts they read in a book. Instead they just listened. They listened to me cry, get angry, be confused, and totally lost in regard on what I should do next. Finally, I noticed something very important about true wisdom. They began to ask questions. These people wanted to understand me and my personal situation. From there, they began to pray, read, and learn about various tactics/ways to help me.

I think we can all sense the difference in real wisdom vs being "smart". People that are wise might talk a lot or not much at all. They might be extremely booksmart or be intelligent in other areas (interpersonal, intrapersonal, socially, kinestically, logically, creatively). We are drawn to wisdom because we know it's grown with self-control and not self-promotion. I seriously just LOVE sensing that in people. Seth Megow is seriously not the wisest person, but I can honestly say that I'm growing in that area. I really believe that because I'm loving more & more the concept of humility. Hahahaha. Not saying I'm the most humble person (not be a long shot), but I'm noticing that humility is normally a major trait of people that possess wisdom.

So I guess this is just a challenge to myself. Love people before I learn. Accept that I don't know everything or understand every situation. Listen and ask questions. Finally, I want to make sure that I'm serving people with my knowledge and not using it to just serve myself. :)

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,
Seth

T-Shirts!!

For so long, I've had this little idea of a fun idea of a t-shirt for the blog. Finally about two months ago I decided it would be a good time to pull the trigger on the idea. I explained it to my kids and Stevie jumped all over it. She and I worked together drawing and designing the shirts. All of the artwork/design was done by us :D Then we contacted a local company who helped us get our design on fabric. They turned out great and the price was extremely reasonable. (Non-sponsored personal side note: Todd at Arrow Screenprinting was so kind and fun to work with. I highly recommend him.)

I explained to the kids that besides it being fun that other people will be actually wearing our family's artwork, it will also give them some spending money on our little family vacation this year. So we all chipped in (the kids did odd jobs and sold a few things to raise a little money) and bought the first round of shirts.

So without further ado, here's our new family/blog t-shirt. I am in love with how they turned out. They are so stinkin' cute and fun!

Stevie is SO SO PROUD of these shirts!! 

The shirts are $10 a piece. So far, I have sizes Adult Small-XXL available. I'm not going to set up a fancy online store or anything on the blog. I really don't like of my blog being a source of income (which is why I never will monetize or put ads here). However, I do think this is a neat way to show the kids how business works. They helped design the product, helped raise some money to print them, and now will help me sell them to again give them each a little spending money on our family vacation. That being said, if you are interested in purchasing a shirt, just shoot me a message through the blog facebook page or send me an email (sethmegow@gmail.com) & we can meet up somewhere with the shirt(s). Also if you don't live close to us, we could ship them to you for an extra $3 a piece. If you can't afford $10 for a shirt but would still like one, message me and let me know. I can work with you to get you one at cost :)

So again, just message me or shoot me an email (sethmegow@gmail.com) if you are interested.

Thanks for all of the support! My kids can't wait to sell you a shirt ;)Hahahaha

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,
Seth

Story Time - 2004 Spring Break

Anyone that knows me knows that I love to tell a good story. I have about a million and a half and will ramble on forever if given the chance :) Sometimes they kinda get lost in my brain and need a little nudge to come back. I was cleaning up recently when I found this photo album and instantly I busted out laughing and yelled "Spring Break 2004!". So I wanted to type out this story just for posterity sake before I forget this photo album gets lost, and this story just fades away like others I've forgotten. This one is important for me to remember, because inside this story is when I first developed feelings for Crissy. I want to be able to remember it, so when my kids ask their mom I can share stories about her before everything went south between us.  This post might be kind of long, so feel free to just enjoy old pictures if you don't feel like reading it all. :)

I think one of the reasons I love this trip so much is because 2004 was really at the cusp of the when online inner-connectivity started. Smart phones weren't around yet , I mean honestly texting wasn't even "a thing" yet. Social media hadn't invaded our lives yet. It was just a simpler time. A time that provided much more spontaneity in my opinion. If we had access to those things back then, this trip would have never worked out like it did. And was probably the last real adventure I had before all of that technology came in.

Now that I've rambled enough, let's get started....

So it was March 2004. I was a college freshman and just had this desire to go on an adventure. So I made this plan in my head. I wanted to get a few friends, load up in my bus, drive south to the beach, and just see where life took us. I didn't want to make concrete plans, just kinda blow with the breeze and see where we ended up. So I needed to assemble the team. First, I had this new friend named Crissy. We had been hanging out all day, everyday. So naturally, I'd invite her.

Crissy

Next, of course, I would invite my best bud April. We'd been friends since we were 14 and she always brought the fun!

April

I figured four would be a good number for the trip. So I needed one more and wanted to invite a guy friend to even things out. I worked at Applebee's at the time and had a co-worker named Reed. We had hung out a few times. He was so chill and hilarious. Plus he had dread locks and drove a scooter around town so that instantly made me bring him on board. 

Reed

Team Assembled. Crissy and I went to the store to get supplies for the trip.  Basically, we bought banana moon pies, bubbles, paint, canned meat, and a road map. Remember this was before cell phone cameras, and digital cameras were still very expensive, so I bought a few disposable film cameras to document the trip. Remember those?!? I loved them. So, the night before we loaded up the bus with all of our stuff, and I had to map out a route to get us to the beach (avoiding the interstate). We couldn't use the freeway because my bus maxed out around 50 mph and would blow off the road if I went faster. 

Day 1

We woke up the Monday of Spring Break and loaded in the bus and took off. We had been driving an hour or two and things were already super fun. Reed brought a bunch of instruments, so while I drove those three sat in the back and played/sang songs. 

So this is when the first unexpected bit of adventure pops up. Since I was driving, I put the back seat in charge of the map. I guess they were distracted by playing music because we ended up in the middle of nowhere. So I turn around for them to show me where on the map we were and found out they were literally holding the map upside down. We had been driving in the wrong directions for like an hour and were basically lost. 

So after about another 30 minutes of backtracking, I was able to figure out where we were and plan out a new route to the beach. This was a pretty scenic route apparently, because soon I was driving on a tiny, washboard dirt road. After a few minutes on this rural street, I see a huge 18 wheeler barreling towards us. It's coming closer and doesn't appear to be slowing down. Of course, when it reaches us, this guy is barreling down this tiny road at like 60 mph. I see our lives flash before my eyes. I swear to miss this guy and run off of the road so we don't all die. When that happens, the bus starts bouncing around, coming off the ground, and all of the windows start to fall out of my bus .When the truck passes, we all have to get out of the car and walk up and down the road looking for my windows. 

So we found the windows, loaded up, and finally (after about 5 hours) ended up in Fernandina Beach, Florida. First things first, I gotta pee. We find a little local beach shop. In that store Reed buys this giant straw hat. I swear that hat, shorts, and a bathrobe were his wardrobe about 80% of the entire week. 

After I pee and Reed buys his hat, we head off to the beach to go play and find somewhere we can camp out for the night. When we get to the beach, we found that is was super rocky and probably wasn't a great idea to swim around. So we roll down some hills, take some pictures, and act like statues to confuse families walking by. 

So it's getting dark, and I start to look for somewhere to camp. I find a little place and start to get out the tent. Suddenly, the police show up and tell us it's illegal to camp on the beach. Well. Great. Where the heck were we going to sleep. I suggested we go get some food and talk about it. So we drive around and find a little mom and pop seafood place. While we were discussing it, our waitress hears us talking and offers us the chance to sleep at her house. Sweet! She seemed normal enough so we took her offer. It's basically closing time at the restaurant, so we hang out until her shift is done and follow her to her house. She invites us inside to hang out for a bit before we pitch our tent. Crissy and me go inside while Reed and April just hang out in the bus. Soon, her boyfriend comes home and starts talking to us. I get the feeling that somethings not quite right. That feeling is confirmed when he takes off his shirt and he's covered in racist tattoos. Soon, he busts out a photo album and starts to show us pictures of his last White Power rally. (Weird fact: He also showed us one picture of him and a famous, current musician (who will not be named) doing a hail hitler sign that he had framed). Not even thinking about it, I instinctively blurt out that I find that incredibly offense. The blood drains from my head as he just starts to stare at me. I tell Crissy to go ahead outside, because he's just quietly staring at us. So it's just me and him in the living room now. He insists that we go outside and pitch the tent together. I tell him we don't have a tent and are just planning on sleeping in the bus. So he follows me outside still insisting that we still spend the night in his backyard. I'm trying to figure out how I'm supposed to get us out of there. Finally, he goes inside and I jump in the car and drive us away from the house. By now, it's the middle of the night. So I just pick a random spot on the side of the road, park the bus, and I let them get some rest. I didn't really sleep that night. I was just constantly looking for his truck to drive up behind us. 

Day 2

So as soon as it was just a little bit bright outside, I woke everyone up and we quickly made our way out of that town. 

Waking everyone up at the buttcrack of dawn to get outta there. 

We are now back on the road. The sun's up. I'm feeling much happier (and safer) and spirits are back high. Before we left on the trip, we made some plans to meet up with some friends at the St. Augustine public campgrounds. So we are now just cruising down the road, enjoying conversations, and snacks.

We were just talking about the fun plans once we get to the campgrounds. Suddenly, I hear a huge pop and feel the bus us to the side. Yup. We just blew a tire. 

So I get us to the side of the road and literally have no clue what to do. I didn't have a spare and we were on a highway with nothing really around us. A police officer pulls up. Thank goodness! I explain what happen and ask if she would drive me into town so I can replace my tire. Well, a classic VW bus doesn't work on police officers normally. I guessed she figured we were all stoners and got ultra rude. Basically, not only did she not offer to help, but told me that if my bus was still on the side of the road at 5pm or if it was left unattended, then she would have it towed to the impound lot. Crap. At this point, I have no idea what to do. I just pray "Ok God. You gotta do something here." 

Literally like 3 minutes later, we see a giant van pull off the road behind us. It's our friends we were supposed to meet at the campgrounds. They were running a little late and just happened to see my bus on the side of the road. Yay!! They agree to drive me into town while Reed, Crissy, and April hang back to sit with the bus so it wouldn't get towed (the police officer is just sitting in her cruiser across the street watching us). Once I have the car jacked up and wheel removed, I realize that I don't have a jack stand in my bus. So I'm forced to leave my bus blowing around by the breeze of every passing car (VW buses are extremely light) and only propped up by a tiny jack. So I tell my crew to hang tight while I go into town with our friends to get my tire patched. 

We get into town and only find one tire place. I ask them if they would patch it up. Of course, it can't be patched and don't have my size tire in. They wouldn't be able to get my size tire in for a few days (again, VW buses had thin, narrow tires that are uncommon nowadays). So again, I just pray that someone works out. We load up in my friend's van and keep driving. After a few minutes, we spot a Wal-Mart with a tire center. Against all odds, they happen to have a tire that fits my bus. However, it's going to cost me the rest of my money I had set aside for the trip. I didn't really have a choice, so I bought the tire and we raced back to my bus. In my head, I'm picturing my bus being rolled over in the ditch and my friends sitting on the side of road ultra bummed/aggravated about how this trip is going. We are pulling up and I just close my eyes and hope for the best. 

I feel the van stop and open my eyes to find Crissy, April, and Reed dancing around my bus, banging tambourines, laughing and singing. (If you ask April, she'll tell you that when it blew a tire was her favorite part of the trip, hahaha) I pop on the new tire, and we caravan to the campground with our friends.

We get to park and find our campsite. It's a fun night of stories, music, and laughing. 

Day 3

We wake up early the next morning, pack up the tent, and head out to the beach

At the beach, we run into some more friends that we had been planning on meeting up with on the trip. We spend pretty much the entire day playing in the ocean, blowing bubbles, and flying kites.

It seems we are going to have an event free day. I'm pretty stoked with so smooth everything is going. After the beach, we head back to our friend's motel and all jump in the pool/hot tub. While in the hot tub, someone get's the idea that it would be super fun if we all painted our bodies and went back to the beach that night. So of course we did. 

The day could not have been more fun. And still nothing crazy had happened. However, of course that wouldn't last. After about an hour of running of body painting, someone asked "Where's April?" Crap. No one knew. We checked the motel room, the beach, the cars... No one could find her. We run up front to ask the motel management if they had seen a girl recently. The motel worker replies no, but we should probably be worried because there are always a bunch of weirdos roaming the streets this time of night. Double crap. So we start running up and down the strip in full body paint, going into each store frantically looking for our friend. 

"Where in the heck is April?!"

Finally after checking every single store on the strip, we run back to the hotel to call the police... Of course, she's magically back and sleeping in our friend's motel room. By now, it's the middle of the night. So my crew (minus April) all pass out in my bus in the parking lot of the motel. 

Day 4

We wake up, have a water gun fight in the parking lot of the motel, and head back to the beach. However, I distinctly remember something happening that morning while she was spraying me with the water gun. I remember just having these strong feelings of affection come over me for Crissy. It's just neat to reflect on that moment when I first had the thought of us being more than friends. 

After we at the beach for awhile, we head back to the motel. My crew eats some lunch and then go jump in the hot tub. This is the last full day of the trip, so I'm glad it's going smooth for once. Everyone kind of breaks off to do their own thing, while Crissy and I just hang out by the pool enjoying the breezy weather. I'm really enjoying this time alone with her. This is the first time it's just be her and I the entire week. We were just hanging out and I was actually thinking of making my first move on her, until this lady walks up to us. She sits down and starts making small talk. We chit chat for awhile, then both of us get up and start to leave. Suddenly, she runs up behind us and says she's had an emergency come up and needs to go to the front office to take care of something. We just look at each other puzzled and tell her just go there then. I mean what did that have to do with us. Then she tells us that she has two special needs children and they are in her motel room. Before I can even ask why she left them unattended, she grabs both of us by the arm pulls us to her hotel room. She unlocks the lock, flings open the door, and sure enough their are two special needs kids completely unattended and bouncing back & forth on the bed. She begs us to watch her kids for just a second so she can run to the front office. So trying to be polite, we say yes. Then she looks at us weird, picks up our camera, takes a picture, and starts to back up towards the door.

 "What the heck is going on?"

Immediately, I look at Crissy and give the "we gotta get the heck outta here" look. But before we can, the lady just kind of makes a break for it and starts running in the opposite direction of the front office. Suddenly, I see her start to unlock a car door and climb in. "Heck no!" I think as I'm sprinting behind her. She tries to drive off (leaving her kids with us), but I jump in front of her car so she can't leave. I make her come back to the room, so I can get Crissy and we can leave. So I'm walking her back to her room and she's just rambling on about some nonsense. She's clearly on some kind of hard drugs. Finally, she's back in the room. She again grab my arm and starts begging us to stay with her. We both just kind of break free and run to the front office to call the police. When we get there, the front office worker isn't really concerned with our situation. He's more concerned with the fact that our friends had like 17 people sleeping in one motel room last night and we were camping out in his parking lot. So to avoid that fiasco, we just leave the motel, go to the beach, and sleep near the dunes so we wouldn't be seen or get in trouble. 

Day 5

The next morning, we swing back by the motel to see how things worked out with our friends. Apparently, they smoothed things out with the manager last night but were told to leave this morning. So April traded her spot in the bus with our friend Clark who rode home with us. 

We got into Valdosta, dropped off Reed and Clark, while Crissy and I headed back to my parents house. When we got there, her and I just talked and laughed about the trip. I realized that it was over the course of that week that I developed strong feelings for her. I remember taking this picture and vowing to myself that I was going to marry her one day. 

When I was thinking about typing up this story, I knew that me falling in love with Crissy over the course of the trip would come up. It's so interesting talking about this story nowadays. It's like reading the first chapter of one of my favorite books. It's nice to be able to reflect back and think about it, however, even though it's clearly in the past and not a part of my future, I think I've hit the point of confidence and peace with my life/emotions/feelings that I can enjoy fond memories without confusing myself or getting sad.

So back to my parents house, I remember that this was the day that I started to pursue Crissy romantically... I've talked so much of our divorce on this blog, that I'm thinking about writing about more of the good times in our relationship. I think you guys would enjoy reading about it. Well,  I think it would be fun to write about at least. Ok, this post is freaking long as crap. Hope you enjoyed it.

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing, 

Seth

Megow Kids Q&A- Father's Day 2017

Certain days can be so awkward as a single parent. Today is one of them. With little kids, it's normally the opposite parent that helps the kids do all of the activities. Moms help the kids with fathers day stuff/ Dads help with mothers day stuff. Father's/Mother's day as a single parent of young kids is basically like going to a restaurant, ordering the "chef's surprise", going to the kitchen, thinking of the dish, preparing the dish, then handing it to your server, sprinting back to your seat, acting totally surprised when the dish is placed on your table, and then finally going back to the kitchen to clean up whatever mess was made in the creation of the dish. Hahahaha. Honestly, I would just skip the day, but I feel like my kids want to be able to think and reflect. Also, I think it's important to give them the chance to show people they love them. So I guess that applies to me too.

So I tried to stay as out of it as I could (to let them keep it surprise). Really, Stevie was kind of the big helper with this one. She actually already wrote me the sweetest letter a few days ago (see below).

So sweet :D

When I asked the kids if they would like to do anything for father's day (Again, it feels so awkward. Kinda like throwing your own surprise birthday party. hahaha). Anyways, she suggested I make some little sheets with questions they can answer. So that's just what we did. Stevie also helped explain it to them and them wrote in Olive's answers for her. It was so sweet.

So anyways, here's the Megow Father's Day sheets from this year. I will type out what they wrote under each picture. They are still learning to write and spell :) However, it's fun to compare how they write things and what they actually mean. I just think little kid writing is the cutest thing. For example: "Poopcorn" for "popcorn":D

Stevie

My dad is funny when he acts funny and does impressions.

My dad makes me feel safe when he protects me.

How are you and your dad most alike? 

Because we like the same things and Zelda.

How are you and your dad the most different? 

I'm a female and I'm 9. He's a male and he's 32, almost 33.

How do you show your dad you love him? 

I make stuff for him and I hug him all the time.

My favorite memory with my dad is when we went to the mountains.

What makes your dad handsome?

His face.

What’s the most embarrassing thing your dad does?

Fart.

My dad’s favorite food is popcorn.

What annoys my dad more than anything? 

When we (the kids) fight.

I know my dad loves me because he takes care of me.

___________________________________________

Neela

My dad is funny when he sings.

My dad makes me feel safe when he kill snakes.

How are you and your dad most alike?

We both were glasses.

How are you and your dad the most different?

I am a girl, he is a boy.

How do you show your dad you love him? 

I eat his hair.

My favorite memory with my dad is when we rode the Gravitron.

What makes your dad handsome?

His beard.

What’s the most embarrassing thing your dad does?

Sings.

My dad’s favorite food is 

Popcorn

What annoys my dad more than anything? 

When we (the kids) fight.

I know my dad loves me because he will get me a dog.

___________________________________________

Titus

My dad is funny when tickles me.

My dad makes me feel safe when he holds my hand.

How are you and your dad most alike?

Boy and Boy.

How are you and your dad the most different?

Glasses and not.

How do you show your dad you love him? 

Hug him.

My favorite memory with my dad is Ninja Turtles

(He's talking about when we made ninja turtle costumes and went to see the movie in the theatre.)

What makes your dad handsome?

His heart.

What’s the most embarrassing thing your dad does?

Pees in front of people.

My dad’s favorite food is 

Carrots.

What annoys my dad more than anything? 

When I say "butthole".

I know my dad loves me because we are best friends.

___________________________________________

Olive

My dad is funny when he does jokes.

My dad makes me feel safe when Titus gets a spanking.

How are you and your dad most alike?

We have alone time and we never fight.

How are you and your dad the most different?

I have straight hair and dad has curly.

How do you show your dad you love him? 

He says I'm your best friend everyday.

My favorite memory with my dad is

When we go to McDonalds.

What makes your dad handsome?

He has curly hair.

What’s the most embarrassing thing your dad does?

Everything.

My dad’s favorite food is 

Broccoli.

What annoys my dad more than anything? 

When our rooms are messy.

I know my dad loves me because he says I'm his friend and we do stuff by ourselves

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth