"My Origin Story" - My marriage

Note: I just finished writing this thing. 

There's no way I'm proofing it #toolazytoproof. 

So please just ignore any grammar mistakes :D

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I think I take it for granted that people just kind of know all about the kids and my life now. I mean, I kinda just type whatever the heck is on my brain for the world to read… you’re welcome world. Hahaha. I just kinda figure everyone pretty knows all about us. But then I started thinking, I don’t think I’ve ever really dove into my married life. It was about an entire third of my existence, but I just don’t mention it much here. I’ve talked a little here and there, but nothing major. I have talked about divorce a few times. Mostly, I think that’s because I’m worried my family and friends will think I’m still heartbroken over Crissy. I’m not. Or still in love with her. Again, I’m not. Or hoping that we will ever get back together in the future. Again, again. I’m not. However, I would like to talk about my life and story about us getting while we were together. Not because I miss it or anything. The way I like to describe how I feel about my marriage now like a can of diet soda. At first sip and while you’re drinking it, the taste is refreshing and nice; however, the aftertaste is just disgusting. (Sorry diet soda fans). I mean, it was nice but after experiencing that aftertaste I don’t want another sip. I think it's easy for me to disassociate with my memories of that relationship, because the aftertaste (bad years) was just so gross. However most of those years (which were mostly awesome) played a significant part of my story. Not only during the marriage, but after as well. Most of my adult life was spend with Crissy by my side but I don’t believe many of you know about those years. So I think it’s time to bite the bullet and just start from the beginning. Hopefully as I go along you’ll kind of see my intentions of this post. My goal is for this to be kind of like an Origin Story of the person I am today. J Also, I figured I might as well type this up because I’m starting to forget more and more of this part of my life (not complaining), and one day the kids might ask about me and their mom together, so I can refer to this post as a refresher. I will try to keep it as short as possible, but it might be lengthy. Just FYI.

Crissy and I met a few times before we actually really “met”. We went to high school together. She was a pretty, popular girl. After high school, she started working at Applebee’s where I was already working. So I trained her. We got along well at work, but that was really about it. Finally, one day one of our mutual friends wanted to throw a surprise party for his girlfriend (who was also a mutual friend). So pretty much, he was just “I’m going to distract her today. You two just plan a party by tonight and I will bring her over to be surprised.” Hahaha. So there we were, just two new friends driving around town in my first car.

Anyways after that day we just started hanging out the time. Just friends that eventually evolved into best friends. We are pretty much inseparable. Neither of us had romantic feelings, just best buddies. Well, that kind of changed a few months later, when we took “The Road Trip”. Those few days were some of the craziest in my life. Seriously, I need to post about it soon. I think everyone would really enjoy it. But until then, I’ll give an ultra-brief summary. Our friends, Reed and April, Crissy, and I went on a road trip to the beach one summer. We all just kinda piled in the bus and went. On that trip, it kinda of just hit me. I was in love with her. It was a super strange and nerve wracking feeling. I didn’t say anything on the trip or for a while after. Finally, one day I just told her. She said she didn’t feel the same. I remember lying in bed that night being so heartbroken. Getting your heart crushed at 18 was no fun. L So the next morning, I drove out to her parents’ house to talk to her. She really didn’t want to hear what I had to say on the matter, but I was persistent. I laid it flat out on the table. “Crissy, what chance do I have of us ever getting together?” Her response, “I promise you that you have absolutely zero chance ever. That’s not going to happen.” I appreciated her honesty. I knew it was tough for her too. No one likes to lose a best friend. So I slowly trudged to my bus, got in, cried, and drove home. We kinda of quit talking or seeing each other after that. It was literally us hanging out together 24/7 for months and months to zero communication. It was hard on me, but I got through it.

A few months pass…

I was at work and my manager came and told me I had a phone call. (This is back in day before everyone had cell phones. Don’t you miss those days? :D ) It was Crissy. I was stunned. She asked if I wanted to come over after work. Of course, I said yes! So I went over there and she explained how no one treated the way I did and she missed me. I was happy. Suddenly, we were back on track spending all of our time together. Then one night while we were helping a friend move (Crissy showed up in overalls, a trucker hat, and a painted on beard to look like a “mover” hahaha), she kissed me. I’ll be completely honest. I was stunned. She kept kissing me, and I think my brain and body must have not been able to handle it, because I immediately went to the bathroom and puked! HAHAHAHA. I felt sick the entire next day. It was just a super intense rush of feelings and emotions. She kinda just hung out with me on my parents couch. We both laughed about how I got so excited from kissing her that I puked and had to just lay down for a day and soak all of this in.

So later that afternoon, we went back to our friends new house to help her unpack and move her stuff into her new place. It was very late before we finished. I remember the date. It was July 2, 2004. It was about 2am, and our friend moved by VSU so we decided to just go for a walk around campus. I could tell we both just “knew”. So during the walk I leaned down, picked a wild flower, and asked her to marry me. She said “Yes. Of course.” And that was that. J

We suddenly tried to think of how to explain this to our parents. She was 19; I was 18. How were we supposed to tell them that we were engaged?!? Also, I still needed to officially ask her dad’s permission. So we came up with this secret plan… We told both of our parents we were just dating, so they wouldn’t think we were crazy. Then after a few months, I asked her dad to marry her. He said “Nope.” HAHAHA. I remember sitting there in side by side arm chairs for about an hour trying to convince him to let me marry her. I literally drew little charts explaining how Crissy’s GPA and work performance had improved with us “dating”. Finally, he looked at me super serious and said “Fine, but she’d better not be holding a baby until after she’s walked across that college graduation stage.”

Yay!! I was delighted. This was October 2004. We immediately started planning this wedding. I rented an apartment to have a place for us to rent. That place was a literal dump, but it was all I could afford. It had six foot ceilings, and I’m 6’2. It was pretty much just a tiny, TINY one bedroom apartment. However, it was ultra-cheap and right across the street from the college. This was awesome because we were both in school full time. The day I moved out, my dad took me to the side and made me promise him one thing. He said, “Promise me, that you will both never sleep in that apartment, until you two are married.” I agreed and so thankful for that advice. My dad is such a wise man. However, we were taking all of our classes together and working all of our jobs together. So driving her 25 miles home every night in my bus (that had a top speed of about 40 mph) was just getting kind of old. We both decided we needed to bump the wedding day up. We sat down with her parents and said “Ok. We are moving the wedding date.” Her mom’s response, “THANK GOD!! You two need to be engaged for at least a year.” We both kinda looked at each other and laughingly cringed, replying “No, we are bumping it UP. We are getting married in January 2005.” Hahahaha.

So January came. We were both so excited for the big day. Our wedding was super fun and original I like to believe. It was a 1960’s theme wedding. On the invitations, we encouraged people to dress up if they wanted to. In the foyer of the church, we had face painting, hair wraps, love beads, and a station to leave your shoes so people could go barefoot into the wedding ceremony if they wanted. Crissy and I did everything pretty much from scratch. We tie-dyed sheets to hang in the church. Our friend helped us make the flower arrangements. It was just a fun event. Our friends dressed as pirates and were the door greeters. The ring bearers were some of our friends dressed in full costume as Scooby Doo and the Pink Power Ranger. That was just a really fun day. J

There we were two 19 year old married kids taking all of our college classes and working all of our jobs together (We typically kept about 2-3 jobs while in school to avoid loans and be financially independent.) We spend our free time volunteering around town together.  It was some of the best years of my life. Crissy and I were inseparable. Most of our friends called us “Criss and Sethy”. Those super broke younger married days are the ones I always think of first. We were just living on love, and man we were in love.

Finally, when we were college seniors Crissy accidentally ended up pregnant; however, I did keep my promise to her dad. She did not walk across that stage holding a baby. She just walked across it 8 months pregnant. Hahahaha!! I was so excited to become a “daddy”. I always wanted to have kids. In March 2008, we welcomed our little Stevie Joy into the world. We kept her a surprise, but I was convinced she was a boy that we were going to name “Titus”. Crissy got a full time job working for Babies Can’t Wait. We built a house. I decided to go back for my masters. It was a time of big changes, but Crissy and I were tighter than ever. I remember once, I went out of town for a few days, and she called me every day of that trip crying. Not because she was stressed about having a baby by herself, but because she just wanted me to be there with them.

You can identify the child by my glasses frames :)

Months pass. We sell our house, and I graduate with my Masters. Soon we find out that Stevie is going to have a little sister. So in July of 2009, Neela Grace was brought into the world. I start looking for a job as a K-12 Library Media Specialist, but couldn’t find any for a long time. I remember becoming pretty depressed during this time. I just remember a thinking that a man needed to provide. The best I could get was a part time job at a local private school. The pay was hardly anything, but at least it was some actual experience. My spirits were really low. One specific thing that always comes to mind during this time frame was Crissy coming to sit in my lap, picking up my head, looking me dead in the eyes and saying “Seth. I love you more than you understand. I’m proud of you. Don’t stress over this job. Let’s just love each other, love people, and love Jesus.” It was such a tender moment that I felt truly so blessed to have her in my life.

Eventually, I get a job at Wiregrass GA Technical College (formerly Valdosta Technical College). The pay was minimal, but at the time I WANTED that job. I would have a REAL job. They called me into do three different interviews. I didn’t hear anything for a while after that, so I started to become depressed again, until I got the call!! I got the job, and we were officially rich! Hahaha. Soon after, I finally got my “Titus”. We moved into a little house that was formerly her granddads. Besides the crappy apartment, 603 E. Stanfill Street holds the fondest memories. We were just this little family that was completely in love with each other. I can’t really express how close we were then. We led a marriage group a church and were constantly asked for marriage advice from people. I just remember playing in our backyard and my heart feeling so full.

After about two years, we move out of our Hahira house and into my parents’ old house to help take care of my grandmother. They moved to Alabama but my Mimi lived in a mother-in-law suite attached to their house. This was also a fun time in our married life. We were just a family living on the farm and now expecting our last child, Olive!! The kids loved living there. To be honest, so did I. Then our life changed again when I was offered my current job at Valdosta State University. The pay was significantly much more which was exciting. So exciting in fact, that we decided to buy a second home from her dad. (He is a contractor and sold us both of our houses for very cheap. Her parents are such blessings still to this day.)

There we were. We finally made it to official adulthood. Both with good paying professional jobs, a little stair step patch of kids, and a brand new super nice house. I know what really happened next, but we kind of became a little more distant. I was working more and she was busy with her job (she worked two days a week) and being a mommy. We were still very close and happily married, but I think we could both feel something was off.

Time passed and she started going out with friends more and more at night, while I stayed home with the kids. This led to arguments, which resulted in marital conflict. We never had this happen before. I mean, we fought from time to time, but never like this. She started drifting off more and more frequently. Meanwhile, I was becoming more and more bitter about my wife leaving me all the time to be with her friends. We both made mistakes during this time. Not pointing any blame. There are always two sides to every story, but finally it came to the point that I was with the kids alone pretty much all of the time besides when I was working. That was a tough time for me. She started hinting for a divorce, but I always said that I would never ever agree to that. We loved each other and needed to build our marriage back up. The situation grows progressively worse. Days, weeks, months pass. By now I’m doing the kids solo and Crissy has moved out. No one knows anything. I keep up a social media appearance that we are still a happy couple. When we happen to see each other, things usually erupt. I’m just so broken and hurt that my best friend just left me. This is only escalated by the fact that I’m pretty much I total train wreck raising four kids on my own. Still, I hold on to the hope that this marriage would be healed. I’m constantly talking privately with a small group friends and counselors trying to work out my brokenness.

Then, one day I just feel this sudden peace. That was God btw. We stopped fighting. He molded me from an “interrogator” into an “encourager”.  I was positive that I would be able to keep things together and protect her reputation so it was be a seamless transition into our happy harmony again. I was beginning to get the hang of being a single working dad/full time parent of four. Every single night, I would sit for hours and pray for her, our marriage, and our kids. However, it seemed the more healing I found, the further Crissy drifted away from the kids and me. We hardly saw her. Still I had peace and was able to show that peace to the kids. Remember, Crissy used to be the most legit mom ever. Having her fade away from their lives was almost too much too watch. However like I said, me and “my crew” as I started to call them found peace in midst of the storm. I learned little techniques to help them cope with everything that was going on. Soon, it was like she was kinda just gone completely, but we were still married.  

Although I felt peace, it was still heart breaking. More and more people began to call me with “Crissy stories” and questions about what was going on. My fear of divorce slowly faded into an actual thought “what if it happened?” I began to pray more and more about this. Not trying to spread gossip, but Biblically speaking I had firm ground to stand on in the case of divorce.  Then my worry was “What if I lose the kids.” Honestly, how many dads of four with full time jobs get custody? So I started praying. I felt God telling me to fast (not eat) for two days and truly put my whole heart into praying and listening for an answer. Then driving home from work (I remember the time of day and the exact spot of the road I was driving), I felt God tell me “You’ve done well”. I knew it was time to file. The process was so nerve-wracking. I lost so much weight from just being so overwhelmed that I literally never had an appetite. Those months were the most anxious times in my life. I was constantly worried that Crissy would get the kids. However in the end, she agreed that I should have primary custody and she would get every other weekend visitations. Praise God!! The kids and I had become so unbelievably tight throughout the past few years of walking through this together that I couldn’t imagine not having them with me. It was an answer to prayer. I was and still am elated with the outcome.

I just keep on keeping on. Just “living the dream” (my go to response for questions about life). Life became such a fun thing. I was living this incredibly unique gift of a life that was filled with the craziest stories of the most awesome kids in the entire world. Every day seemed to be an adventure. However, I did feel sad at times that I didn’t have anyone to share all of these crazy stories and silly experiences with.  Then one night, I thought to myself “You know what? I’m not just going to sit around and wait for a wife to share this stuff. I’m gonna stuff putting this stuff online. If nothing else, it will be a fun way to remember things for when the kids grow up.” That was the beginning of the blog you are reading now. Yay! Fun, right ;)

So yeah, that’s my Origin Story. I love the person I am. I love my kids. I love the life I have. I love the God I serve.

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth

DIY - Fidget Spinners

So like almost every child in America, my kids have been asking for a fidget spinner. I've seen some in stores and online, but being me I thought it would be more fun to make one ourselves. To my surprise, it's extremely easy to make one and super cheap (less than $2 a piece). Plus, the kids got to pick out their own designs and colors. I wanted to share how we did it and the end product with everyone in case anyone wants to try it :)

1) Fidget spinners are basically just skateboard wheel bearings with some added weight to give it a longer spin. So I found some online. It was a pack of 8 bearings for about $6. I also got free shipping!

2) Next, I took the kids to the hardware store to buy some nuts and bolts. They were about 8 cents a piece, so I probably spent $1.50.

3) Then I let them design their spinners however they wanted and took some pictures on my phone.

Stevie designed the Triforce from Zelda

Neela designed a star

4) Next, I super glued the pieces together (but NOT to the bearing yet)

 5) Once I had the pieces glued together, I found some spray paint and let the kids pick colors.

6) After the glue and paint dried, I just super glued them to the bearing. And that's it. Seriously! Once the glue is set, they are ready to spin :)

Stevie's Triforce

Titus's American Flag Snowflake

Have fun spinning!!

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth

What advice would I give younger me?

For some reason, the idea of "If you could go back in time, what advice would you give yourself?" keeps popping up in my head. Lately, I've been hearing it in conversations (in person and on the radio), in songs, books, and on tv shows. So that's really made me stop and think of what I would tell myself if I could go back?

At first, I thought about going back to my high school years when I was just a big band geek with polyester shirts and a big ole' afro. Hahahaha. I had absolutely no self confidence, but also thought I was always right about everything. If a topic came up in conversation, people needed to hear what I had to say because it was clearly the right answer. ;) I could tell myself to just be confident in who I am. It's ok to be weird and not to try so hard to stand out of the crowd. Maybe that if I would just talk to new people, I wouldn't have to be so shy around strangers. People might actually enjoy being around me.

Then I moved onto thinking about when Crissy and I were first married. I could go back and tell myself to quit worrying so much about the future and to enjoy the moment. I was constantly working for our "next step in life". We needed to both graduate college, get good jobs, buy a house, and have kids. Everyday seemed to be just another notch on the belt of setting up our dream lives. I thought about telling 20 year old Seth that he needs to maybe enjoy the season of life he is in. That he's going to miss being broke, living in an apartment with six foot ceilings (I'm 6'2), and just living on love with his best friend. I could tell him to savor those moments.

Next, I moved onto when Crissy and I first started having kids. We had both graduated with our Masters and had three little ones. Our little family were renting a small little house near the college. I was so set on finding a career that made good money so I would be able to provide. Crissy had an excellent job with a lot of money; however, I didn't have the same outcome with my job search. I worked random jobs while I was constantly searching for "the job". I became so depressed when I was unable to find it. Crissy would constantly tell me to just enjoy the free time together that we were given in this season of our lives. Her job was very flexible and she made good money. So we made enough to get by and more importantly had so much time together, but I just couldn't accept the fact that I wasn't making enough for her to stay home full time with the kids. If I went back, I could tell myself to listen and enjoy these moments of being together as a family. Not to just constantly be a grump about not having this amazing job I always dreamt of having.

Finally, I thought on what I would say to myself about 5 years ago. This was probably the longest point of time I sit and wondered about. Having your best friend, wife, and mom of your kids walk out was the lowest point in my life. At first, I was constantly trying to fix everything. Monitoring bank statements, searching the house for clues to her newfound mystery life away from home, asking specific questions and demanding answers. I just couldn't believe it. I was heartbroken. Not only did she pretty much evaporate from my life, but there were these four little faces just staring up at me just as heartbroken and needing love. I could tell myself to lighten up. You can't change other people. That's up to God. However, you are in control of how you react to situations. I could say to myself that in the end, you'll be happier than you ever were before. And yes, you will get a divorce. And no, you won't have to keep fighting to have her back or even want to get back together. I could say not to worry so much about all of the custody stuff and financial strain that addiction causes you. In the end, it will all work out.

So, those were the thoughts that I kept juggling around in my head each time this question came up. Then, I remembered something my dad said a long time ago when someone asked him this question. It was a Father's Day church service and the pastor called up a few fathers to the stage. He asked them the question of "If you could go back and change one thing, what would it be?" He was hoping hearing older men talk about things they wished they did different would impact the younger men listening. I believe there was about 5 men called up. My dad was last in line. Each man before him gave these amazing insights on how they could fix mistakes they've made by doing "xyz". When it got to my dad, he talked a little while about various mistakes and things he'd wished he had done differently. But he ended by saying, even after all of that, I wouldn't change a thing. Because all of that made me who I am today. (My dad is so wise.)

After I started thinking about that, I realized that I really would hate the idea of giving my past self advice. Sure, there was so much room for improvement. But that's just the beauty of our journey isn't it?

-Being a nerdy kid who insisted on being ultra different, but all of that helped me find out who I was.

-Thinking back on how I rushed through sweet moments in the past has helped me realize to embrace each day as it comes. I don't want to look forward to tomorrow anymore. I want to enjoy right now.

-Going through a divorce and completely readjusting my entire life to be a single dad of four kids was hell on earth. But geez, the person that God has molded me into is someone I had always wanted to be when I was younger. Someone who is just full of joy.

So yeah. I would never want to change a thing about my past. Sure there are memories and things I still regret, but without them I wouldn't be where I am today. (laying on a bed covered in Chex Mix crumbs typing this blog post on a laptop with kool-aid finger prints on the screen) :D

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,
Seth

Megow Kids Q&A - Pet Peeves

What do think the term "pet peeve" means?

Stevie: "Things you don't like, but they always happen."

Neela: "That's when you have a pet and it pees a lot."

Titus: "Dad. I'm not dumb. That's a made up word."

Olive: *lays head on table* "42"

(Dad explains what it means)

What is your biggest pet peeve?

Stevie: "Buying and picking out clothes. I hate clothes. I wish we were like animals and had fur. That way I wouldn't have to wear clothes. Plus, I would always be warm and cozy."

Neela: "Not having a dog. I need a dog dad."

Titus: "When people litter."

Olive: "These questions."

What is something that dad says that gets on your nerves?

Stevie: "Clean your room."

Neela: "When you tell me that I can't lick your hair like a cat."

Titus: "No more screen time or my brain will rot."

Olive: "No."

What is something that dad does that gets on your nerves?

Stevie: "When you fart. It's so bad."

Neela: "You don't let me watch scary movies."

Titus: "When you sing the Rudolph song to make us not fight."

Olive: "When you make me be in nature. I like inside and snacks, not hiking and bugs."

What is the worst part about going to school?

Stevie: "Not seeing dad."

Neela: "Not learning about more animals. Math is dumb. I wish I could go to an outside nature school."

Titus: "I like all the parts of school and I love my teacher."

Olive: "Waking up."

What is your least favorite part of the day?

Stevie: "I don't have a least favorite part."

Neela: "The part about when I remember I don't have a dog."

Titus: "Doing homework."

Olive: "Right now."

Worst movie ever?

Stevie: "Nightmare before Christmas. I saw a part of it one time. I hated it."

Neela: "Mickey Mouse."

Titus: "Pokemon. It's so annoying."

Olive: "Grown up shows."

Grossest food ever?

Stevie: "Popcorn"

Neela: "Black Eyed Peas."

Titus: "I like everything."

Olive: "Olives"

When you grow up, what is the one job you would never want to do?

Stevie: "Surgery"

Neela: "A butt doctor"
Titus: "Nurse"

Olive: "A grown up"

What is the hardest part about being a kid?

Stevie: "That I won't be a kid forever."

Neela: "That I don't have a phone so I can't order pizza."

Titus: "Not being able to see aquariums whenever I want."

Olive: "You can't drive to Dairy Queen when you are a kid."

What is the hardest part about being the oldest? Or what do you think it would be if you were?

Stevie: "Taking care of everything"

Neela: "I wouldn't be able to sleep outside."

Titus: "Going to longer schools and waiting."

Olive: "Stevie."

What is the hardest part about being the middle child? Or what do you think it would be if you were?

Stevie: "Never being able to do anything fun."

Neela: "I can't open doors. I just follow people and run in the door behind them."

Titus: "I can't bring electronic things with me to town."

Olive: "This is ridiculous."

What is the hardest part about being the only boy? Or what do you think it would be if you were the only girl?

Stevie: "No girls could spend the night."

Neela: "Too hard to poop rainbows. Only girl power makes you poop rainbows."

Titus: "It makes me miss mommy so much."

Olive: *walks away*

What is the hardest part about being the youngest? Or what do you think it would be if you were?

Stevie: "I would have a big belly because everyone would give me all of their snacks."

Neela: "I want to be the youngest wolf in a wolf pack."

Titus: "Being called a baby."

Olive: *from across the room* "I'm not coming back over there."

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth 

Raising Four Kids Alone

I’ve gotten to know quite a few people since I’ve become a single parent, also I believe quite a few people have gotten to know me via the internet. It’s fun talking into friends in the grocery store, at the park, at church, or even over texts/facebook messages. Whenever I am talking to people I don’t normally communicate with on a regular basis, normally the first thing they say is “I don’t know how you do raise four kids by yourself.” Hahahaha. Honestly, so so many people have life way harder than me. I think my life is a cake walk compared to a single mom. But, since I get asked so much I’d like to expand on that question during this post.

Most of the time when I get asked that question, I just smile and tell the truth. “My kids are just so great. They make it enjoyable.” That’s really the truth. I am just fully in love with my kids. They are my best friends. We are the type of family that does life together. Of course I try to encourage their own individual interests and set aside special time to devote solely to each of them, but most of our time is spent as a group. It’s just how we make it work. I think that’s one of the reasons I always give credit to my kids. Of course they argue and fight. Each of us has our own issues, but that’s the beauty of it. We work through it all together. In our house, no one will ever have to go alone. I just love the idea of that. No matter what happens in my life or how horrible of a day I might be having, I have four little people who believe in me and actively show me love.

However, it wasn’t always second nature to me. To be honest, at first the realization that this was “real life” for me was beyond intimidating. Waking up early to get four kids ready for school as well as getting myself ready for work, juggling all of the home and my career responsibilities, taking on the full financial load of a family of five with no extra income besides what I bring to the table, picking up and dropping off for every event, school day, doctor’s appointment, parent/teach conference, etc. and finally acting as dad & mom in my house just seemed too much. Finally after months of trial and error and praying/thinking about what my little crew REALLY needed, I realized that my kids just needed me to be there. They can do without fancy clothes, extravagant vacations, and the nicest toys. Each of them simply want dad to be fully committed to their lives.

Besides the fact that my kids are my favorite people in the world, there are a few other tricks that I utilize to keep my sanity:

1) Don’t sweat the small stuff.

2) My definition of “the small stuff” was dramatically changed over the past few years. Hahaha. Now it’s more like “the medium stuff”. Basically, I just added a few things to the list for me not to worry about (random piles of junk laying around my house, matching socks, separating whites from colors in the laundry, making it to every event we are invited to, etc) I just do what I can do. Besides that, I honestly try to just not worry about it.

3) Figure out exactly how each of my kids show/receive love and laser beam focus on that junk. I don’t have time or resources to do everything I would want as a parent, so I need to make sure I’m ultra-intentional on how I do spend those things.

4) Find the joy in every situation. There will always be something sad/frustrating/annoying in every single aspect of life. It’s not that you shouldn’t acknowledge those things, but I like to make it a point to highlight to myself and my kids something positive in everything we do.

5) Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. Haters gonna hate. So I just do me. I mean I’m a single adult male who drives a mini-van. Hahaha. I couldn’t care less about that people think of me cruising up in my 2008 Dodge Grand Caravan.

6) Embrace practicality. When I learned to cut out the fluff and frou-frou, things got way easier for me. My dream Christmas present? Pay my monthly water bill :) hahaha.


All of this being said, I do rent a permanent seat on the struggle bus. Do I think of myself as a perfect parent? HAHAHAHA!! No. Heck no. No times infinity. Geez, I probably screw up more than most everyone reading this. There’s only so many times a human can slip in spilled chocolate milk before they kinda lose it ;) If you’ve been around me in person, I’m sure you seen me lose my cool with my kiddos before. When they act out, and I don’t always respond in the best manner. I over react quite a bit and don’t always dive into each situation as I should. There’s normally always someone whining, crying, mad or upset. Bottom line, they are kids. Also, they are kids who’ve went through emotional trauma. They are bound to act out because their little, sweet brains don’t know how to deal with some of these crazy, hard emotional situations that surface from time to time. Seriously though, every parent in the world is flawed. We just do what we can and try our 103% best.

Now, another question… Do I think of myself as an awesome parent? ---- YES!!! Is it because of anything I say or do? Nope. Honestly, it’s just because I’m there. Being there makes anyone an awesome parent. It’s not some special secret formula. Whether you spend thousands of dollars taking your kid to Disney world or just sit and color imaginary animals with them, to me it’s all the same. Just devoting time to them makes you their hero.

Tonight, I was putting away dishes and Titus walked up to me & asked if we could lay together on the couch. So we did. After a few minutes of us just talking and watching a movie together, he makes a really serious face, looks at me and says “Daddy. Would you ever leave us?” I smiled and said, “Of course not buddy. You are stuck with me.” His face stayed serious while he said, “No. I’m serious. What if we don’t clean up the house good enough or I do something bad? Would you ever leave us then?” I paused for a moment and looked at him & said “Buddy. I'm never, ever going to leave you. I promise.” He just smiled and wrapped himself up in my arms on the couch. Really that’s what it all boils down to. Regardless of what happens, I’m there. That’s how I parent four kids solo. Screw ups and all, I’m still just there, and they are there for me.

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth

How Kids are Similar to Dogs

Easily distracted.

Can sleep anywhere...

but prefer sleeping in your bed...

and love to be the first thing you see when you wake up.

Love to pee anywhere and everywhere.

Dog or little boy... we'll never know. ;)

Not huge fans of the term "Personal Space".

Both love to get dirty...

luckily, they have a shared love for bath time.

Both enjoy dog biscuits.

Enjoy walks...until they decide the walk is over.

Follow you to the toilet.

Finally, unsupervised time is not recommended with either.

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth

The Megows: A-Z

A - Awesomest Kids on the Planet

It's no secret that I think my kids are legit the coolest humans on the planet, but I wanted to talk about this more in depth. It's hard to put into words how awesome they are because sometimes they literally leave me speechless. hahahaha. For example, tonight after dinner I walked into the kitchen to find Titus and Olive sitting on the floor, randomly wearing swimsuits and googles, and both chugging ice water out of sand bucket pails. Meanwhile, Neela was laying on the couch with her bearded dragon on her chest watching How to Train Your Dragon because "she needs to learn more about her own kind". Finally, Stevie was sitting in her room drawing little pictures to give our friends at school and singing "Strawberry Fields Forever" quietly to herself.

They are just all so unique and full of life. I love how they randomly pair up sometimes and at other instances, they sit by themselves to dive into something that interests them. They are the most kind, helpful, hilarious, cheerful, and loving humans that I have ever met. I freaking love those four little people :)

B - Birthdays

With four kids, there's always a birthday around the corner. And that's pretty ok with me. We love us some birthdays. From the planning to the actual event, there's just so much to enjoy. I love putting in time to make them feel special. As my kids get older, they are all chipping it in help with each others' parties as well. It melts my heart to see them get genuinely excited about making their siblings feel special. It's hard to do big things for just one kid with the way our family is setup, but birthdays are the perfect opportunity for that. I've written some posts about all of our past birthday parties. You can read about them here! 

C - Cats

 

Because... Duh. Cats

D -Dirty kids

I love when my kids come in muddy and their clothes are just so filthy from exploring, playing, and experimenting. This is a good thing since they seem to stay coated in an exoskeleton of dirt.

E - Excitable

Seth: "Hey guys. Do you want me to hook up the sprinkler and fill up th..."
Kids *before I can finish*: "AAAAHHHH  YYEESSS!!" (as they sprint to the backyard stripping off their clothes)

F - Frog Hunts

Maybe we've just got frog huntin' on our brains because the season to catch our favorite amphibians is approaching fast. If you visit our house on a steaming hot South GA summer night, there's a high likely hood that you'll catch us in the ditch.

"Prepping for a hunt"

"One of our frogs.

Dont worry we catch and release :) "

G - Good Lookin'

Not trying to brag but Geez Louise do I have some good looking youngins.

H - How did you make someone smile today?

This one might be my favorite. For a few years now, we go around the dinner table and we each have to say "How did you make someone smile today?" It's just one of those little things I love about my family so much.


I - It's gonna be a great day

Our family song. I made it up one morning a few years ago. It's now just become a normal part of our mornings :)

J - Jokes

All of us love to tell a good joke. Olive will tell you an endless amount of nonsense Knock Knock Joke, while Stevie might go with her staple "Why can't you get Elsa a balloon?" - "Because she will let it go." :D I prefer to embrace my role as a father by annoying everyone around me with classic dad jokes.

K - Kids

I love kids. They are so much cooler than adults. We have sleepovers and friends over quite frequently. In my opinion, once you are quadruple outnumbered, who's even counting anymore :)

L - Lunch trays

School lunch trays are served about every night at dinner. It helps me remember to fill each slot with healthy foods. Plus, aren't they just so fun! :D

M - Mr Rogers

Duh. M would be Mr. Rogers. If you follow my instagram or facebook, I'm constantly sharing Mr. Rogers quotes. He's my personal hero. I simply loved his view on life. I've even wrote a post specifically about why I love him so much.

N - Nature

Yay for outside, bugs, hiking, rainstorms, camping, critters, mud, climbing trees, exploring, flowers, clouds, and adventures!!

O - Odor

I'm not gonna lie. My kids can do activities and have fun that produce smells that are undescribable. Just imagine "little kid after playing outside for a few hours" mixed with farts and hummus breathe. I love these kids, but wow. Two words: Bath Time ;)

P - Parks

My crew are park connoisseurs. We know about every park within 20 miles. I mean why wouldn't we? It's free fun, and I hate the idea of getting into a rut of activities... For instance going to the same park over and over and over and doing the same things time and time again. I like that my kids love to switch it up. However, they each have their own favorites.

Q - Quiet Time

Wait... What's quiet time?

R - Rambunctious

This Megow characteristic is why I never get the "Quiet Time" previously mentioned... :)

Hahaha. Side note: My kids love Frozen Yogurt.

S - Single parenting

Yup. Just me and my kiddos. They are why I smile. They are my drive to succeed. They are the reason I'm happy to lose sleep. They are the joy in my heart.

T - Talented

Whether it's art, magic tricks, talking to "aminals", or fashion. Each of them shines in their own special talents.

My gorgeous little artist lost in thought...  

U - Untidy

Megows are a naturally untidy people. My office desk is a wreck and our house is usually not much better. HOWEVER!! Me and the kids have been trying ultra hard lately to turn this around!! I must say I'm pretty proud of the progress we have made. :)

The Patented Megow Mopping Method

V - VSU 

My job... Valdosta State University. My co-workers have pretty much adopted my kids as part of our team up there. I can't say it enough how grateful I am for my job, bosses, and co-workers.

My kids are PROFESSIONALS at sitting quietly and ultra well behaved at college events :)

W - Waffles

Because Waffles is the most important word to start with "w"

X - X marks the spot

Treasure Hunts! Scavenger Hunts! Clue Hunts! Challenge Hunts! My kids love looking for treasure, and I love to plan them out! :)

Y - Yes!!

I hear it all the time. "People need to learn to say No". While that can be good advice, I try to instill the desire to say "Yes!". When people are in need, just help! If you have a neat idea on how to bless someone, just do it! We stay pretty busy, but I pray that when my kids get older they will always remember their childhood was spent serving others.

Z - Zelda 

Each of my kids have special time with dad at various nights of the week. We call this alone time. It's so hard to get these one on one moments. The kids and I thoroughly enjoy it. And it all started with Stevie's love of Zelda. We started carving out time for us to sit alone and play her favorite game of all time. Zelda. I love how those few minutes playing that game (I don't really play video games btw) turned into such a rich tradition for our family.

My princess Zelda :)

Well that's the Megows A-Z. Hope you enjoyed and have a great day!

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth 

Top Ten List: Why Megows Love Spring

10) I can skip the bathtub and start just throwing soap on the kids in the kiddie pool. This year, I'm going try mixing in some No Tears Shampoo/Body Wash in some water balloons and just setting a big bucket in the backyard. I'm gonna call them "clean bombs".

9) Spring means time for me to bust out my cut-offs. Also, it's a terrifying reminder of my growing gut. So that's some motivation to lay off the root beer floats and pork rinds.

Sorry ladies. Say goodbye to this dad bod this spring ;)

Support Groups are available if needed.

8) I'm no longer the scourge of the neighborhood since I finally remove the Christmas decorations off my porch. 

7) It's the perfect time to go digging 'round for some bugs and critters :)

"I found a millipede. I'm going to name his Charles."

6) Tax return season. I have four kids. You do the math. #whowantstogoforicecream #noshameinmygame

5) There's no need for flashlights at night since my skin still has it's neon white glow from winter.

"Howdy."

4) Spring means wildflowers. My kids are always picking people wildflowers, and truthfully it's one of my favorite things in the world. 

Cute, squishy, tiny Baby Olive enjoying God's creation

3) Aprils Fool's Day!! Forget Christmas or New Year's. Megows get straight up crunk on A.F.D. Just FYI, no one is safe... ;)

2) Spring Break. Not for fancy vacations or spring cleaning. Mostly, I'm just ultra excited that I don't have to get four kids up, fed, dressed, and ready for school for an entire week. That also means I don't have to worry about tardies for five sweet, perfect days.

1) Finally, it's still cool enough in the evenings to light up our firepit (And speaking of tardies, this is the perfect way to dispose of the school's notifications letters about my kids excessive number of tardies which consequently start arriving around this time of year)

"Burn baby burn... Tardy Inferno"

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth