Saturday, September 24, 2016

Top Ten Reasons Kids are Cooler than Adults #2

I made the first edition to this post a few months back and it’s still one of my favorite posts ever.

So with that being said, I felt like making a sequel to that post. Let’s dive in! :)

10) Naturally hilarious:

“I’m hilarious once you get a few drinks in me.”

“Dad. My friend invited me to his birthday. I want to make his present all by myself instead of buying it.”
*Comes back a few minutes later holding a tooth*
“I just pulled my tooth. Can you help me duct tape it to this string, so I can make him a necklace?”

9) Make things simple with relationships:

“What are we?”

“I only message him/her through facebook so I can see if he/she has read my message or not.”

“How can I win his/her heart?”

“I have two boys that both want to be my valentine. So I set up a competition at recess tomorrow. The winner gets to be my valentine.”

“Hello. I like your cat. Want to marry my dad?”

 “I need to wear my hair in a mohawk, so I can get a girlfriend today. Girls like mohawks.”

8) Breaking the ice with new people (Examples of conversation starters):

“So what do you do for work?”

“How about this weather?”

*Thinks to self* “I’m just socially awkward and weird. I know they won’t like me” *Walks away*

“I know a lot about aminals. Can your dog spend the night with me?”

“I ate too much sherbet. I threw up rainbow over there.” *points to pile of colorful puke in the grass*

 “I like to pee outside, because girls can pee standing up outside.”

7) They say things to your face not behind your back:

“I can’t believe what she’s wearing. She looks ridiculous.”

“Do you have a cat or did you buy that sweatshirt with cat hair already all over it?”

6) Never afraid to claim any type of bodily function:

“It wasn’t me.”

“It was me!”

5) Answering the tough questions:

“Black Lives Matter”
“All Lives Matter”
“Blue Lives Matter”

“Today everyone I meet, I’m going to hug and tell them I love them.”

4) Find the fun in every situation:

“This is officially the most boring and unnecessary meeting of my life.”

“Ok dad. During this meeting, we are going to have a ‘Biggest Spit Bubble Competition’. We will take pictures on your phone so you can judge after it’s over.”

3) They are the closet things to senior citizens (who are undoubtedly cooler than regular adults, so can be placed on the same level of cool as kids)

“I need to really watch my caloric intake today.”

Kids/Senior Citizens:
“Let's just eat cake for lunch.”

2) Naturally Expressive

“I sat through a few seminars on how to clear my mind and focus my inner-needs. This evening I’m going to meditate for a couple of hours so I can surface these feelings into my subconscious. Then I will be able to accurately portray on canvas how I am currently feeling about my existence and deepest desires.

“I have to use the bathroom, so I drew a picture of an alien named Ms. Butt standing on poop.”

1) Healthy Confidence

 “I wish I could cut my hair like that, but I wouldn’t be able to pull it off.”

“Dad, where’s the scissors? Neela wants to cut my hair. I told her she could because she really wants to. Even if she messes up, I will still be pretty. Because your heart makes you beautiful not your hair.”

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