Neela-isms

One of my favorite things about parenting is seeing my kids personalities blossom and take shape. Each of them have their own unique flair and bring different things to the table. For example, Stevie is the stoic artist. She's always wanting to encourage and help her daddy. She is also extremely smart & tech savy. Titus is kind hearted one. He loves to give gifts and is the social butterfly/flirt. hahaha. Olive is my go with the flow kinda kid. She's always walking around with a giant smile, just willing to play whatever anyone else is wanting to play. She's also a protector of her siblings. Even as the youngest, in Olive's eyes, you don't mess with her brother or sister. 

And then there's Neela.... :) Well, she's normally the one that keeps me laughing. Never really intentionally. She doesn't really tell jokes or try to entertain, it's more of just a delightful experience watching how she handles life and processes things around her. I can pretty much guarantee if you are around her for more than a few minutes, she'll say or do something absolutely and completely random. 

For this post, I wanted to highlight a few of my favorite things she's said in the past few weeks. I've been keeping a running list of the gems that's come out of her mouth. Enjoy :)

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Seth: "Guys, I was thinking. I can't wait until I have grandbabies! That's going to be so much fun."

Neela: "Ugh... I'm adopting teenagers when I'm a grown up. Kids are too much work. Trust me I know. I'm a kid, and I'm A LOTTA work."

*Titus accidentally runs into Neela and knocks her over*

Seth: "Titus, buddy. I know that was an accident, but you need to apologize to your sister."

Titus: "I'm sorry Neela."

*silence*

Seth: "Neela, what do we say when someone says I'm sorry?"

Neela: *turning to Titus*: "You're welcome."

Seth: "Neela. Your hands are sticky... so are your arms.... and your face.... and your hair. Seriously, kid how are you always so sticky."

Neela *pauses*: "Well... ever since kindergarten, I've become sticky as a predatory defense."

Neela: "I've decided when I grow up, I'm gonna get married."

Seth: "Oh really? Well, that's great!"

Neela: "Yeah, I don't want it to be too much work to find a husband though. I'm just gonna move to Africa and marry the first man I meet."

Seth: "Neela, will you rub my back? It really hurts and you are so good at it."

*Starts to rub dad's back*

Seth: "How are you good at rubbing backs?"

Neela: "At school I trade back massages for 'Bee Bucks' with the substitute teachers."

On a family walk

Neela: "I'm so excited."

Seth: "Why?"

Neela: My favorite holiday is coming up."

Seth: "Oh really. What is it?"

Neela: "Well, I'll give you a hint. It comes after Halloween and Thanksgiving."

Seth: "Hhhmmmm.... I wonder what it is?"

Neela: "Duh dad. It's Winter. That's my favorite holiday."

Neela: "Dad, you are getting so chunky. You need to go on a diet."

Seth: "Well, actually I am on a diet. That why I've been eating a lot healthier lately."

Neela: "Ugh... If I ever get chunky, I'm never gonna go on a diet. I will just be chunky or be dead."

On the way to school one morning

Neela: Dad. I've decided to retire from second grade."

Neela: "Dad, when I grow up. I'm gonna find and tame a dragon. I'm gonna name him... *pauses* .... Gilbert."

Neela: "I'm easy to make happy. Just give me 'aminals' and feed me candy."

Neela: "I've decided. After my last day of middle school instead of walking home, I'm walking to Africa. I need to live there soon, because I need 20 dogs." 

Neela is sitting on the couch petting our dog, Douglas.

Neela: "Douglas and me have so many things in common, but we have one major thing in common."

Seth: "What's that?"

Neela: "We both got nice rumps."

I see Stevie and Neela's bedroom light on way after bedtime. I walk into their room to find Stevie asleep in her bed, but Neela on the floor in her underwear, laying on her back and licking her legs.

Seth: "Neela! What are you doing?!?"

Neela: "Grooming."

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth

The Uncertainty of Change

I've always tried to be incredibly open with everyone here. Just talking informally from one friend to another. This blog has been going strong for just at 3 years now, and I've met some incredible people along the way. Honestly, I really didn't have a topic in mind when I sat down and starting typing. I just had these things I wanted to say and feelings I wanted to work through. So I'm just going to see what comes up as I type and talk to you.

The past few months my blog has been pretty barren. Rehashing older posts or posting some quick, easy things just for a quick laugh or storing memories for down the road for my kids. You know, for the life of me I couldn't put my finger on exactly why this happened. It's not writer's block, as I've had plenty of possible ideas for topics. It's just every time I sit to type something feels off. As I was talking to someone tonight, I think I know why. There's some sort of change coming in my life. I think that happens to so many of us when change is right around the corner.  I can't exactly tell you what the change is, I am just certain it's coming.

I think I'm discovering as I type that the point of this post is the simply convey the feelings I have about this future mystery change. It's hard to express. Normally I'm pretty good at conveying my emotions and feelings into written words, but this is different. It's the uncertainty of knowing something is going to happen in your life soon, but not knowing what or when. It's praying and hoping for the change to be wonderful and exciting, while not getting my hopes too high up in case it's not what I expected. Not that it would be less wonderful, it would simply be different then the mental image I painted in my head. Maybe I would describe it as feeling intense vibrations on the ground while you are about to cross a big hill. Not really certain what or who is over that hill,  it could be a big fun amusement park or maybe a pack of hungry, rabid hyenas. All I know is there's definitely something different than on the path previously.

It's moments like these that I'm reminded of how important Faith is in our life. I don't really know what to expect because honestly, I don't exactly know what I'm walking into. The only thing I do know is God is Faithful and will walk with me. This is super comforting to me as a single parent because as I encounter change, I'm not alone. I have Someone who already knows what's over the hill. Whether it be amazingly good or not so good, He knows and He's not leaving my side. That's such an amazing feeling. There are so many times I think of myself solely responsible for decisions that affect my children when they are in my care. Truthfully, that will eat you alive. It's why I constantly have to remind myself that God is not only with me but for me.

So many times we as new parents, new adults, new employees, new students... basically anything new, experience that deep breath of pause and reflection before beginning. Some do a quick in and out breath and are ready to go. Others like to take their time to focus on various aspects of what they might encounter. I don't believe there is a right or wrong way to mentally prepare for change. It just happens. I believe once change is on the horizon, it's coming whether we are prepared or not.

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There is one thing that I am reminded of as I'm finishing up: In the book of Mark, the disciples and Jesus encounter a boy and his father in a crowd of people. The Scripture says the boy was being controlled by an evil spirit. In the past the disciples demonstrated they had the Faith in God to cast out evil spirits, but this one wasn't budging when the disciples tried to cast it out. Jesus spoke with the crowd and the father of the boy briefly and then immediately cast out the spirit. Later on when the disciples asked Jesus why they couldn't cast it out, Jesus simply replied "this kind only come out by prayer".

Now... I'm pretty positive you are wondering why the heck I'm talking about Jesus casting out a demon in a random post about changes in my life. Hahahaha. Well, I assure you no one in my home is possessed. The reason it comes to mind is the fact that Jesus was instantly able to cast it out; however, when asked why by the disciples why they weren't able to, He said it required prayer. Was there a point in that story where Jesus retreated in private to pray? Nope. Did He pray right before ordering the spirit to leave? Nope. To me that means He must have been praying beforehand. This is just my personal interpretation, but the prayer He prayed before arriving at the situation prepared Him for what was to come. There wasn't time to seek and commune with God when He was in front of the boy, but He had already had that prayer with His Father previously. Whether Jesus learned in his previous prayer time that He would be encountering this boy or if He was just praying and communing with His Father doesn't interest me at the moment. It's just proof that prayer is not only important but essential to our success in the future.

Going back to whatever change I feel coming, I'm positive that I need to be praying before I get there. Hahahaha. I just don't want to get into a situation, find myself in a bind, and ask Jesus for help, only to realize I haven't prayed at all about any of this prior. I don't want to be a "help me" prayer person. Only reaching out in times of need or concern. To me prayer is so much more than a one or even two sided conversation with God. It's a way to realign our spirit man with God. Inner peace, a positive mental mindset, and joy are also some of my favorite bonuses that come along with it as well.

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Now all of that being said, I have a feeling this is going to be a wonderful thing/change for me and my family. I just wanted to remind myself that I need to continue to pray regardless of how I feel in the moment. Because even if the change is amazingly beautiful, the only thing prayer can do is make it even better.

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,
Seth

Stevie's First Post!!

Stevie loves to write/draw/create/etc. Lately, she's been asking about putting something on the blog, and a few weeks ago, her and I found a story she wrote a little while back. We read it together, and I laughed so hard. I love her creativity in her writing. And of course, if I have the opportunity to showcase my kids then I'm going to brag about them until the sun comes up! :D We decided I would type up her story (exactly as it is written *cute misspellings and all*) since reading scanned pages can be kinda difficult for some. So we go...

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Supercat vs. Fang

Author/Illustrator: Stevie Joy Megow

Once upon a time there lived a dragon. It was so powerful it made a mustache and put it on. The dragon added the powers inside a catsle but people tried to kill the dragon for clothing. The dragon added fire and ice but then a cat broke the window and fell in the mustache and the mustache earned cat raining ability.

The dragon

Then a really strong person got an ax and chopped the door down and 2 contries came to the dragon and they killed it. But the mustache remained with all 3 powers unharmed. Then they hid the mustache for 1,000 years in a chest but then a lonely alley cat was wondering around and saw the chest and used it's sharp nails to open the chest and felt the mustache.

It felt but it was so powerful it stuck to his head and he earned all his powers but then he saw something. "What was that" he said to himself. Then he said, "Who are you?" Then he appeared from the shadows. It was... dun... dun... dun... the dog. 

The dog said I have powers and you don't! Mwhahahahaha! You litttle alley cat with a mustache. 

Then the dog said I need that powerful mustache. He did an evil grin and laghed again. Then the alley cat went home sadly thinking about how he was bullied. Feeling sad he came home and in a sad voice he said "hey mom."

His mom said "why are you feeling sad Whiskers?"

He told his mom the whole story his mom felt bad for him. His mom told him about the evil dogs. 

She said "The evil dogs have been around since the dragon. When he was a baby pup but then he cried when the dragon got chopped with an ax. He's going to get revenge so he's gonna destroy all the people that were there then he earned a power because he loved the dragon so much. He's not nice he abanded his family because he stole a catsle. It was the dragon's catsle and he's looking for the one with the powerful item."

"Did you like it Whiskers?" said the mom with a happy face.

Then he went to an abanded shop to test his powers. The powers haven't been used in years so the fire heated up and the ice froze up and the cat rain added cats. Then the fire came out really fast out really fast and ice came right to his head and then the cat rain came and when he looked outside it was raining cats. So he tore off the mustache an the cat rain stopped and the fire was out. Lastly the ice melted. He never wanted to try that again.

But then he saw the dog. He said, "I been watching this whole time." 

"Now I will have your mustache." Said the dog.

Then Whiskers said, "call me super cat" and used ice on him. 

Supercat said "what's your real name?'

The dog said meanly "Fang." 

Supercat said, "you have one power and I have 3!"

"Grrrrr" said the dog. "Who cares?" 

Fang used his physic powers to life him. Then Supercat had to do something 

"So weird" he did it he sang a lullaby. "Rock a by uh sleep my little Fang." 

Fang fell asleep. Then he awoke. And said "I just want your island!!" Then he ran into the shadows and broke the ice. Then supercat went to celebrate. He went to get a pizza. He told the worker the whole story. Then he got a free pizza. He said thanks. Then he saw some poor people so he gave them $20. He felt proud and walked home happily thinking about being rich and feeling like a superhero. Then told his mom they were both proud and went to go eat but then they saw the worker was Fang!

Supercat said "Fang, what are you doing here."

"Here to take money for the island." Then he flew into the shadows and told them all about Fang and then he saw they all have powers. Then we all used our powers and sent him to jail but he escaped and took my mustache....

To be continued....

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Peace, Love, and Eat Cupcakes!

Stevie

Why I Love Being a Single Dad

Divorce/Separation is the worst. Not being able to be around your kids all of the time is heart wrenchingly painful. However, in this post, I’m not going to (try to not) focus as much on the negatives of single parenting, but highlight the parts of being a single dad that I love. However, remember that my kids are with my 24/7 so my situation is a bit different than others.

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I feel so extremely blessed with my life. I get to be around my kids all of the time. People are constantly asking me if I need a break or would I enjoy having them away from me on the weekends. I guess that would be nice on occasion, like 2 nights a month. But in all honesty, I freaking love being around my kids. It’s why I love being a single dad. I get to be with them all the time. Let me break down why I love it.

"It's gonna be a great post, today!" 

First off, This may sounds strange upon first reading but I'm ultra grateful that I'm a single dad and not a single mom because*soapbox alert* I talk about this a lot, but single dads seriously do have it WAY easier than single moms. Is that fair or right? Absolutely not. It’s simply the world we live in. I couldn’t imagine being a single mom in this day and age. For me as a full time single dad, I feel like people view me and the kids as a fun commodity to look at or observe. Hahaha. While unfortunately full time single moms are just accepted in our culture as a “normal thing”. For example, when I show up somewhere and my kids are looking semi-feral and in mismatched clothes, I can feel other parents go “Awe… look he’s trying his best. Those kids are so cute. Look at their little mismatched clothes” I’m not in this for sympathy, I’m just trying my best. However, I feel like if a single mom showed up to the exact same event with kids looking the exact same manner, some people might think “Look at those kids. She really needs to take better care of them.” It’s the exact situation, I just feel as a parent (especially of younger children), women are held to such an insanely high standard in our society. So all this being said, single moms are my freaking heroes. Both single dads and single moms are just trying their best, but moms just have so much more parenting pressure. They are still responsible for balancing money, cleaning, etc. (just like single dads), but when it comes to pressures to have perfectly groomed, dressed well-behaved, polite, and involved children, they get judged so much more harshly than men. So in response to this. Single moms are doing both roles (mom and dad) just like single dads. Pouring into both roles can be exhausting. I mean freaking Geez-Louise, our society is going to have to cut them some slack somewhere.  *end of soapbox*

Next, being a dad is fun. It’s not just blanket forts and burping contests with the kids, but if a dad is doing it right, those are both important elements of successful fathering ;) hahaha.

  

Seriously, having the kids with me is the funnest thing ever. I get to learn so much about them. All their individual little quirks, strengths, desires, annoyances, everything!! It's like being fully submersed in their lives and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I mean seriously is it possible to find a group of cooler kids than these!!!

This was on a day they came to work with me. For important it was a "dress yourself" day :D

Being a dad also comes with big responsibilities. Generally, in a co-parent home, I believe these tend to come from two places: 1) Listening to mom about where the kids are emotionally, physically, etc. Moms are just generally so much more empathetic and involved day to day (again, especially with young kids). They are the experts in my opinion, no doubt. Basically, trusting her enough as far as parenting to know what’s best.  2) Decisions of more of a big picture type. Not that I think women are and should be any less involved in decision making at all, I just mean I think a man should protect, guide, and most take responsibility for his family. So that means the buck stops with him. So mostly, it’s just a responsibility thing. Ok. I kind of got off track. My point is that being a single dad means I need to encompass both of these roles. Kids need firm boundaries but also room to explore. A sense of whimsy and wonder but also a steady and reliable parent. Kids need fun and unexpected nonsense, but also routines and schedules. Since it’s just me doing all of this, it was crazy uncomfortable and awkward at first. I felt like a piece of hard clay being squeezed through a playdoh spaghetti maker. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t fit the mold of both me and Crissy combined. In my head, I needed to be this for my kids. By our late twenties, we are generally pretty set in who we are and why we do the things we do. Thankfully, my life took a crazy, turn by giving me a few horrific years and dumping a crazy amount of responsibility solely in my lap. However, I soon learned what a blessing I was given. I didn’t need to be “Seth and Crissy” to my kids. I just needed to be “Seth” and the best version of me ever. God radically altered my life. My personality changed, my empathy level increased, my positivity went up, my stress level went down, my general outlook on life improved. It’s all because I was given the job title of “Single Dad”. That’s my second reason I love it so much, it formed me into the person I’ve always wanted to be, but was too stubborn and set in my ways to let that happen. Being in a single father position I was forced to let God stretch and kneed me, so I could be pliable and fit whatever mold I needed to be in, whatever the stage of life I might find myself.

Finally, I know this sounds selfish, but I love the freedom it provides. If my kids want to wear something weird to school or bring a (rescued from the highway) turtle to the store in a cardboard box while we shop, well… I love being able to say “yes” without having to run it by another adult.

"People are going to LOVE this turtle."

Since I’m around them all the time, I can kind of encourage whatever special traits I see in them. It’s no debating on whether Stevie should take dance classes or art lessons. I just make my choice, and we do it. Mostly, I can raise them as weird as I want. I love weirdness. I absolutely adore it. Normalcy is so boring to me. I love having free reign over the amount of weirdness allowed in my house. I know kids have to learn to function in society, but they are kids only once. If they want to go play with ketchup in the tub, well I don’t really care. Pretty much, I encourage any kind of strange idea they have. They want to invent slime to help their hair grow faster? Sure. They want to eat a cricket? Sure. Want dad to act super fun at someone's house and let people paint his face? Sure. 

 

Instead of limiting and banning specific activities/things, my kids just know a few basic rules: 1) Be kind 2) Don’t hurt yourself or anyone else 3) Don’t make too big of a mess 4) Clean up after said mess 5) Eat vegetables every day 6) Respect yours and other people’s bodies and feelings 7) If you barf, do it anywhere but the carpet or bed.   That’s pretty much it. If what you want to do, meets those criteria, go for it! For instance, at Stevie’s 8^th birthday party, it was raining so instead of cancelling the piñata. I had the idea for an indoor piñata. Based on the faces of every mom in attendance, I’m sure if I were married, I would have gotten the “don’t even think about it” look. Fortunately for me and the kids, I’m not, so I can do things my way. So you can bet your butt we had an indoor piñata, and that junk was hysterical and fun.

To quote a mom that was in attendance:

"It was risky to fairly safe" 

Hahaha!!

I mean in reality, it’s ultra tough at times. Another helping hand and encourager would be nice, but I’m just so in love with my life currently that God is going to have to knock me on my butt with a woman that I feel just clicks. Right now though, I can’t think of a single thing better than taking my kids to the park, just them and me. Receiving 100% of their corny jokes, hilarious stories, heart talks, and hugs. It just can’t be beat.

I wanted to end this post with one of my favorite little “Megowisms”, but I couldn’t decide between two. That means I will just post them both. Aaaahhhhh… personal freedom. :D

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth

Top 10 List: First Week of School vs Second Week of School

10) Buying/Rebuying School Supplies 

First Week

Second Week

9) Selecting your child's school clothes

First Week

*The night before school*

"I'm going to do clothes the night before all year long."

"Ok guys. I picked you all out the perfect outfits and laid them out for you!"

"That shirt is a little wrinkly. Hand it to me so I can iron it."

Second Week

*the morning of school*

"You're not dressed yet?! ....  What? .... No I didn't lay out your clothes last night. You have hands and eyeballs. Pick out your own clothes. I'm not your slave. "

"Your shirt has a giant pizza stain. .... Here.... Just wear this Book-It Club button to cover it up."

"Well... I'm sorry you can't find your other shoe, but we have to go. Just wear your rain boots I guess."

7) Homework

First Week

"The teacher said all we needed to do for homework tonight was to read picture book together as a family."

"Dad, what century did the Mongols rule China? ... Oh yeah, is (b) positive or negative in the Quadratic Equation? ... Also, I'm outta paper."

7) Bathing

First Week
*The night before school*

"Everyone needs to take a good bath, so you can be super clean for school in the morning"

*The morning of school*

"I know you bathed last night, but let's go ahead and wash your hair again so it will have those pretty curls."

Second Week

*The night before school*

"Let's just wake up early in the morning and everyone can take a bath then."

*The morning of school*
-Thinking to self-  "Eeehhhh, they aren't that dirty.  -hits snooze button-

6) Waking up

First Week

"Yay school!!"

Second Week

5) Breakfast

First Week

"Hey buddy, here's your milk. Make sure to drink your juice too. I want you to have a healthy breakfast for school."

Second Week

"Can I get 4 packs of ketchup for these hash browns please? Also, is it too early to order a McFlurry?"

4) Morning Ride to School

First Week 
*Bus riders*

"Of course I'll walk you to the bus stop!"

*Parent driving the kids to school*

Second Week

*Bus riders*

"You better hurry up and run or you're going to miss that bus." -goes back to sleep-

*Parent driving the kids to school*

3) Discussing the school day over dinner

First Week
Parent - "How was school today?! What did you learn? I want to hear everything!"

Child - "It was great! I made a new friend! Also, I learned the neatest trick for doing my Number 9 times tables!"

Child - "I missed you so much while you were at school!"

Parent - "I know! I was thinking about you all day too!"

Second Week
Parent - "So whaddya do at school?"
Child - "I learned how to make a fart noise with my armpit at recess."

Child - "School is boring. I think I might be sick tomorrow because it's so boring."

Parent - "If that school nurse calls me to pick you up again because 'your finger hurts', honest to God, I'm going to lose my mind."

2) Parent Paperwork (first day vs second day)

First  Day

"How cute. A little questionnaire about our family."

Second Day

"Ok. I've read and signed the handbooks, filled out the classroom rules sheet, completed all three pages of the lunch form, finished up four copies of  health information sheet for the school nurse, made updates to every child's emergency contact forms, became familiar with multiple classroom schedules, and reviewed Friday Folder/Homework procedures. Now all I have to do is download three different iphone apps for parent/teacher communication, join a group message chain for school volunteers, and register my email in a few different study tip websites.

1) Your child's overall enthusiasm level about school:

First Week

Second Week

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing :D

Seth