Wednesday, September 30, 2015

"Lights out" - Dad time

Dinner- check
Baths- check
One on one time- check
Prayers and bed- check
2-3 kids sneaking into my bed- Check
Finding Titus trying making soup and dad coming in to clean up the mess-Check
Second Bedtime warning-Check
Singing Stevie her goodnight song for the 5th time- Check
Explaining why bedtime is vital to four seemingly shocked children on the concept of sleep- Check
Putting all of Neela’s critter catches of the day outside- Check
Getting everyone in my bed their own blanket so they will stop fighting for covers- Check
Third Bedtime Plea- Check
Just onnnneeee more funny story about goats- Check
Kids asleep- Check

So all my kids are asleep. What to do? One method I have used to keep my sanity is I try to switch it up every night. Some nights, I will catch up on some work for my job. Others, I will do laundry. Another night, I might write up a blog post (like tonight). Or maybe just stare at the wall and wonder  things like “Did they name orange (the fruit) after orange (the color) or name orange (the color) because  the fruit is colored orange. If so, why didn’t they name the color carrot. You can’t rhyme anything with ‘orange’. It doesn’t work well for poems. Carrot has so many more things to rhyme with: ‘parrot’, ‘carat’, ‘ferret’.  ” Who knows J Every night is an adventure.

Although, I try to switch up my nightly routine, there are some things that are bound to take place every night. First, I have to walk around and pick up the 137 stuffed animals scattered around on my floor. Then, step on at least 3 tiny, sharp toys I'm guessing the kids set out to test from reaction time in case of a medical emergency. Next, wash dishes. I hate having dirty dishes in the sink, and for some reason my kids are convinced they can’t use the same cup more than one time before it has to be completely washed, rinsed, and dried. So they tend to pile up quickly. After the dishes are done, I’ll do a visual walk through of the house to see the damage of the day.

I think I'll leave these tiny, pointy metal monopoly game pieces right here in the hallway.
I bet that will help dad remember to buy those Mario bandaids we've been asking for.

 Tonight’s walk through consisted of flushing down Titus’s big after dinner turd he was too excited to flush. He’s gonna be mad when he see’s it’s gone. He wanted people to come and see it. Don’t worry people, I took a picture of it for him (pro-dad).  Olive found some kind of sticky slap hand thing from the dollar store and threw it into the big girls bedroom ceiling fan (while it was on), so I spend a little time unraveling that snotty feeling green slimy thing from the fan blades. While I am in the girls room, I accidentally step and break Neela’s bluebird catching trap. (She is CONVINCED her next pet is going to be a bluebird), so we made a nest for it to live in and a "safe" trap to catch one. The trap consisted of a laundry hamper, acorns, some tube socks, and a shower rod. She’s convinced she will be seeing some major bird action with this thing, so I fix it back real quick. Finally, I check the living room. I find Titus asleep on the couch asleep holding a pack of ramen noodles. Why? No clue…

I can't even...

Tonight (before I sat down to write this post) I got on the computer for a little bit, then finished up cleaning my junk drawers in the kitchen. We always start off with “a junk drawer”. Our junk drawer always seems to develop into a symbiotic organism capable of multiplying itself like an unwanted virus. The trick about junk drawers is it’s pretty much 90% trash, but the other 10% consists of important documents, letters, keys, money, etc. So it really has to be sorted out. I thought about taking a picture of the before and after, but then I figured it would probably be best to keep that image private. Facebook would probably flag it as an offensive post anyways, but of the sheer terror the piled up on the floor next to me. I’m sort of convinced that the kids think these drawers are extra trash cans for storing the extra weird things that are just too special to throw in the real trash can. I’m guessing they kind view the trashcan/junk drawer comparison like the toilet/bidet relationship. Yes they have different purposes, but the bidet such a luxury they throw the normal trash away first and save the junk drawer to place the special items in. Let’s go over what I found in my junk drawer(s) tonight:

·         2 unused checkbooks covered in elmer’s glue
·         A sock stuffed with Christmas lights
·         3 half eaten ring pops
·         One flip flop
·         A dead lizard
·         3 decapitated Littlest Pet Shop toys
·         A kazoo (not idea where they got a kazoo)
·         Neela’s apparently undelivered valentine’s from last year
·         A random ziplock bag of hair
·         “A Walk to Remember” VHS tape
·         7 flashlights
·         A half empty bottle of goldfish flake food
·         Olive’s Minnie Mouse Toy Microphone wrapped up in fishing line and painted with glitter fingernail polish

The Bag of Hair
Yes. This is real hair. 
And no. No one in our house has this color hair.

Actually, Neela just woke up and is asking me to make her a scrambled egg. So I guess that’s it for this post.

Be blessed

Monday, September 28, 2015

Children - "The Anti-Birth Control"

This post is for parents or people that might ever consider gracing the planet with an offspring. If you never want kids, then read it anyways, because Mr. T says so.

I pity the fool who doesn't read this post.

One of my pet peeves is when people say something like “being with my kids is excellent birth control” or “watching my family at the grocery store will make the person behind me run to grab a pack of condoms” (never heard that last one before, but it does sound a hilarious). But you guys get the idea. Kids are kids. They will always be needing something or learning to express themselves in a socially acceptable and moral way. I know those little sayings are just jokes about how tough it is to parent.  Sunday, the Megows had one of those experiences. This was an experience that some people would have categorized as excellent birth control for the people watching our family.  It wasn’t hilarious in the moment, but I’ll get to that a little further down in the post.

Them Bebe's kids.

I think I’m speaking to myself because all of my friends are so pro at being positive parents. Sometimes it really can be a struggle to find the joy in a situation when EVERYONE is crying, screaming, peeing their pants, decorating the walls by gluing pictures to the drywall, getting spaghetti sauce behind their ear (how does that even happen?), etc. That's why I try to stay positive about situations. My kids are not birth control. My kids will be reason young couples want to have kids. J Yeah, they are messy, loud, and whiny at times. But they are sweet, hilarious, and kind. So are your kids (or future kids). I think in every house, there are a few traits that are highly encouraged. For some it’s being intelligence and studiousness, others it might be being active and athletic. There are so many different family traits that people try to pass onto their kids. Seeing these little things being taught and manifest within our kids is super exciting. Every family is unique and learns what traits and personality strengths they value. In our house the things I like to cultivate are kindness, faith, creativity, and humor. Those things might not translate well on a standardized test or on the football field, but I feel those four characteristics will help them succeed in anything that they choose to focus on.

Just smiling and having a sense of humor will take you far in life, at work, school, with friends and family, just pretty much any situation. However in this post let’s talk about why I encourage these traits for our house. Since I’m with my kids a lot, it just helps have little tension breaking moments throughout the day. My kids, as well as myself, are learning to laugh at ourselves. I can’t tell you the amount of times, I’ve gotten upset or stressed about something that was completely stupid. As they have been taught, they approached me with a smile, gave me a hug, and slipped in a quick joke.

Now to our “story”, yesterday we had to run errands in town. I was pretty wore out and dirty, so I decided to take a quick shower. Titus found the hair gel and while I was in the shower proceeded to give everyone a “hair-do”. Well a five year old boy with a bottle of hair gel sitting each of his sisters down to be made “pretty” didn’t go to well. I stepped out of the shower and looked at the time. We were running late! (I hate being late and normally on time or early for things). Well the kids were supposed to be getting dressed (in play clothes). It wasn’t anything major, but I had to run a few places before they closed. So I threw on some clothes and walked into the living room. Not only was their hair gel everywhere, but the little people looked the band “Flock of Seagulls” were having an outdoor concert at Donald Trump’s house on a windy day

"And I ran, I ran so far away"

 Also, all the kids were all still in their underwear. So I’m trying to rush around to find them clothes. I ask the older three if they can dress themselves. Side note, Stevie hates picking out clothes and will literally wear the same outfit for a week straight if I allowed it. After this I walked Olive into her room to find her some clothes. After a few minutes, she Olive looks cute and ready to go. I holler back at the big kids rooms, “Are you guys ready to go?” They all respond yes and go load up in the van. I finish putting on Olive’s shoes, run out the door, and head to our first stop, the pharmacy.  We had to get their before it closed to pick up a prescription. We were waiting in the drive through when I first began to notice the massive failure my kids called “getting dressed”.  Luckily, it was just running errands but I just have to say they looked kinda rough. First off Neela was of course wearing her shirt inside out and backwards. We were in the car, so she couldn’t unbuckle to fix it. Titus looked pretty good. He takes pride in his clothes and looking good for the ladies. Stevie, hahahahaha, well she wasn’t really feeling great anyways due to a really bad allergic reaction to a cat. (No cats for the Megows). So her eyes were still kinda blood shot and puffy and was snotting and sneezing still. She was wearing this giant maroon tshirt over a long lime green Easter skirt. As a single dad, I feel like people are always expecting my kids to look not super stylish and have great hair, style, etc. I like to try my best to break that stereotype and have my kids being cute and presentable whenever we are going out. So in my head, I was thinking “Ok, Olive and Titus look good, Neela will be acceptable once I fix her clothes, and I will just make Stevie hold the prescription bottle, so people will know she’s sick and not give me any looks.  So the next stop, I had to run to a friend’s house to fix a quick computer problem. It literally took 2 minutes, so I just let the kids play while I fixed it. After this, I still had to run to the grocery store, but the kids were hungry so I agreed to take them to Wendy’s.  All of that is leading up to our Wendy’s visit. So of course we get there and while just sitting in the car, I realized I forgot to fix Neela’s clothes. We’ll just do that in the bathroom. As I’m going over “the expectations” of behavior at dinner in the van, Titus interrupts with, “DAD!” “Yes, Titus” I reply.  “I kiiiinnndddaa just pooped my pants a little. Like 4 drops of poop. Like a baby kitten poop.” Ok well, take off your underwear and you can just wear your pants. So when he did that I discovered he was wearing his special night pee pants. Those are the pair that he tore a little hole in the crotch, so he can pee at night without taking his pants off.  We are still in the car at those point.

By now, I’m looking at my kids and thinking “Stevie looks tacky, Neela looks like she has a learning disorder, Titus has his privates hanging out…Well at least Olive looks presentable.”  So I grab a diaper and tell Titus to turn his pants around backwards and that we can put it on in the bathroom of Wendy’s. He thinks it’s hilarious and wants to try out pooping with his pants on. So we all get out of the car. Of course, Olive takes two steps and trips and skins her knee. I’m not making this up. There was this old couple getting in their car smiling and feeling refreshed their nice meal at Wendy’s, when they see this Walking Dead looking family kind of limping into the restaurant hoping to be unnoticed before we make it the bathroom. They kind of just stop what they are doing and just stare at us. Not one of the “Awww, look how cute that little family is” kind, more like an “utter amazement and total disbelief at what they are witnessing” stare. Titus is yelling about how he going to poop on the potty and not take off his pants. Stevie is whining about how her clothes are “itchy” (no mention of his apparent lack of colorblindness when choosing the outfit), Neela has stopped and still standing by the car looking at the crows in the trees next to our van wearing her clothes the complete wrong way, and Olive is screaming at the top of her lungs while blood is running down her leg.

Ok kids. Do you want a burger or chicken nuggets?

I get everyone to the Wendy’s bathroom.  I am so frazzled and on edge, suddenly while we were all standing in the bathroom, Stevie gets everyone’s attention and looks up at me and gives me a big hug and says with the sweetest smile, “Dad, you are doing great. But the way we look right now, we look like the kind of people who get Wendy’s to-go and eat it in an abandoned building with a bunch of stray dogs around us. We look like those kind of people.”

Stevie knew immediately what dad needed: a hug, kind words, and a freaking funny joke. Instantly, Stevie and I start laughing hysterically. That leads to the other three kids to join in laughing. Then some guy walks in to use the bathroom and he sees a bloodied, mismatched, crazy haired, hole in the butt of the pants family just dying laughing in the Wendy’s bathroom. He just looked at us, smiled, and said he would come back in a minute. I fixed clothes, cleaned wounds, and attempted to tame hair. We had the best little Wendy’s meal laughing about Stevie’s joke, listened to Neela explain the difference between alley cats and stray cats, Titus talk about his new pooping pants invention, and Olive sneaking everyone’s food amidst conversation.  While we were eating there was a young couple watching and laughing at our table. When we got up to leave, they said how they can’t wait to have kids (this is where I got the idea for the post). After Wendy’s we ran to the grocery store and just got a few things and had fun. When we were checking out the manager walked up to us and said how much he enjoyed watching our family shop.

So yeah, a long story I know and a somewhat convoluted point. But my main thing I’m trying to drive home (to myself) is that I always want my family to be the kind of family that makes people want to have kids. It’s challenging at times, but if you embrace the insanity it’s so much fun.

Random picture of our family at a Parker birthday party.
Side note: This wasn't a shirtless party. I just like the kick up the fun every now and then ;)


Thursday, September 24, 2015

Top 10 List:Why Megows Love Fall (Bonus- This post is Pumpkin Spice Free!)

10) Socially Acceptability of Personal Hygiene Laziness
I constantly see people saying “oh I love sweater weather or I can't wait to wear scarfs”. The Megows are over here like, “So since we sweat less and it’s socially acceptable to wear hats and beanies then that means we can bathe less right?”

Who needs personal hygiene anyways?

9) Halloween Candy
Some people celebrate Halloween. Others don’t. All I’m saying is the kids are always a few Snickers bars light on November 1st.

8) Weather
Who doesn’t love South Georgia fall weather: Walking out in a sweater and long pants, becoming soaked in sweat by 10am. But I didn’t iron my shirt underneath, so I’m stuck dripping in perspiration all day, because I was too lazy to iron. Oh yeah, those flannel boxers weren’t really a great idea either. It’s like the everglades down there.

7) Pumpkin Patch
Most people love the pumpkin patch because of the activity of selecting a pumpkin or taking cute family pictures. Honestly, I just view it kinda as a medical thing. I am constantly missing my kids annual checkups, so I can track their height by the little scarecrow sign. I think I should just start writing my insurance company for reimbursement.

6) Costumes
All I can say is I can do wonders with a hot glue gun, duct tape, construction paper, and felt ;) I love the idea of handmade costumes.


 However if you would rather not do one yourself, I have worked for the original costume company in South Georgia for about 12 years. They are the most kind people and have extremely reasonable prices. So if you or your kids need a costume check them out. They have pretty much everything. If you tell them Seth sent you, they might give you a little discount ;)

5) Daylight Savings Time
EXTRA HOUR OF SLEEP. Yes, my kids are awake and throwing the pop-tarts non frosted outsides all around the house while running around naked and screaming like little banchees, but I don’t care. The clock says I get to sleep, so I do. Nothing is sweeter than being about to drown out the chaos of children than hitting that extra snooze a few times ;)

4) End of Cutting Grass   
I think my neighbors are more excited about this than me. I honestly think they believe I actually found the real life Jumanji Board game. My grass gets that bad…

"Watch out for monkeys driving police cars"

3) My Birthday
My birthday is November 2nd. I love having a November birthday, Especially as a parent.  The kids have fully O.D.’ed on Halloween candy the day before, so on my birthday they are all feeling sick. That sounds mean, but hey it only comes once a year. “Everyone, just use your empty Halloween candy bucket to puke in. Dad’s about to lay on the couch for two hours without moving. Happy Birthday to me.”

2) Smores
No one in our house actually likes Smores. But they love the idea of making them. Normally, I just end up smelling like smoke, covered in melted chocolate and sticky marshmallow, and my shoe is melted from stomping out 4 flaming mallows. Normally, my kids just like to throw flaming marshmallows at dad. It's fun for them and good exercise for me.

"Dad, catch!"

1) Taco Soup
Yes. Taco Soup isn’t a fall food. I don’t care. I make it year round. Taco Soup is my favorite part of every season (besides April's Fools Day, duh)

Monday, September 21, 2015

Love is in the Air

So I don’t exactly know what my love life looks like in the future. Will I meet someone and remarry? If I do marry, have I already met my wife or will I meet her later? How do I date with four children? If I ever did date, how would I find the time? Why does the thought of dating absolutely terrify me? What kind of person would I even be interested in? Speaking of finding someone, will this mole on my arm ever stop growing that one hair that grows like an inch a month?

Not my mole, but you get the idea. We all have one. Don't front ;)

However, there are a few things I can plan out. Mostly, just how I plan on doing things with parenting wise when my kids get older.  I don’t want to sound like I have these legit answers on how to deal with teenagers, Hahaha. No way. I just want to ensure that my kids have some of the same experiences that a lot of us shared growing up. Experiences that will shape their lives. I’ve heard a lot of great advice on how to deal with teenagers and honestly, I am terrified of my kids turning into teenagers. I’m a little nervous about losing my little girls and my best buddy. But I do have enough faith in God and my kids that we will always have an open and caring relationship. I do, however, understand that friends and mostly the opposite sex will be an issue in the near future. There are just certain rights of passage that people should go through.  For example, the more I work with technology, the more of a conflicting relationship I develop with it. I love the professional and academic uses. As far as personal uses, I like the fact that I can send pictures and information out to whoever I want. I like seeing people’s faces from across the globe; however, I am really starting to dislike the complete lack of human interaction our society is developing. My point is when my kids get older; I am going to try to allow them some sort of freedom while at the same time ensuring they develop through social situations like we did growing up.

I think my biggest thing is I am somewhat shocked at the age boys and girls are starting to “talk” now. Imagine this next part in my old grandpa voice… Back in my day, if you liked a girl, you had to physically call her on the phone. If you didn’t have a cordless phone, you had to take the kitchen phone and stretch that wire all the way into the pantry and close the door. After a few minutes, the pantry would start to smell like a combination of rye bread and pre-pubescent nervous sweat. Honestly though, it wasn’t talking in the pantry or even in front of your family that was the worst. It was who might pick up on the other end. Nothing to a young man is more terrifying than the thought of your love interest’s father picking up the phone. Typically my conversations with potential pre-teen love interests went like this:

You want to talk to MY daughter??!! 
I will grind your teeth into powder

Seth: Calls girl’s number, hangs up.

Seth: Calls girl’s number again, hangs up.

Seth: Looks around pantry. Finds a pop-tart. Eats said pop-tart.

Seth: (emboldened with pastry power): Calls girl’s number one more time. The whole time thinking “Please God, don’t let her dad pick up, Please God, don’t let her dad pick up”

Deep Man’s Voice: Hullo

Seth: too paralyzed with fear to speak

Deep Man’s Voice: HULLO?!

Seth: is Jenny there?

Deep Man’s Voice: WHAT? I can't hear you speak up!

Seth: Can I speak to Jenny please?


Seth: Oh ok… Sorry. Is Jenny there?

Deep Man’s Voice: Yes. She is here. What do you want?

Seth: I'm sorry. Can I please speak with her?

Deep Man’s Voice: What is your name and how do you know my daughter?

Seth: My name is Seth. I know her from school. She’s in my Algebra class.

Deep Man’s Voice: Is this call related to a school project?

Seth: (gulp) No sir.

Deep Man’s Voice: Well then Seth, why are you calling my daughter?

Seth: To talk?

Deep Man’s Voice: HAHAHAHA. No thanks. *click

Seth: I understand. Than… Oh, he hung up. Crap... I wonder if we have anymore pop-tarts.

Every guy should have to go through that I think. If the boy isn’t mature enough to talk to a girl’s dad. He isn’t mature enough to “talk” to that girl. My favorite story about meeting my first “dad” happened when I was in 8th grade. I had this crush on a little girl Brittany in my class. That quickly faded into a wonderful friendship that lasted through high school and still to this day. (What up B-ster? J ) Anyways, so I had a little crush. I remember being SO pumped about being in her group for this little class assignment. We lived a few miles away, so I remember working up the courage to ask her if she wanted to work on this assignment after school. She said “sure”. So all day, I was stoked and nervous about to puke all over my polo t-shirt, umbro shorts, and Adidas sandals with matching socks.

Whatca know about 90's fashion?

When I got home, I jumped on my bike and rode a few miles to her house. When I got there, I saw her in the garage. I was so excited.  So as I walked around the corner into her garage, I see her dad dirty and sweaty working on his motorcycle. Brittany said, “Dad this is Seth. He’s here to work on a school project.” Immediately as the words came out of her mouth, her mom opened the door and said “Brittany, your grandma’s on the phone.” So she just walked inside and left me and her dad alone. I literally just stood there; pretty much terrified of this guy who clearly despised the fact I was at his house. It was just me and him for about 15 minutes. I was desperately trying to think of something to say, but everything was just fading away in my brain. About every 2-3 minutes or so, he would stop working on his bike, turn his head and look at me. We would make eye contact, and he would just grimace, squint his eyes, and go back to the bike. Also every know and then, he would just do this manly grunt. It was clear who the Alpha male was in this situation. After about 10 minutes, I finally managed to muster the words “So do you like motorcycles?" Upon hearing me speak, he kind of let out a super heavy sigh, hung his head, put his tools down, went to the door to the house, and yelled “Brittany, get out here and do something with this boy!” He turned around and just kind looked at me completely disgusted as walked over to his bike. I just kind of let myself in after this.

My best bud Brittany and the man, the myth, the legend Larry

Over the years as me and Brittany become close friends. Larry and I became good friends too. I love the whole Lorden family. Brittany was my best buddy through high school (we still talk and she is legit the coolest J), her sister Heather got me my first job ever at Atlanta Bread Company and is hilarious, Marcia always made her she made enough banana pudding at holidays for me to drop by and eat some with them and actually we worked together at my first real “career” job at Wiregrass GA Tech, and Larry is just the most hilarious person you will ever meet. He’s super chill and laid back. However, one time I did ask to borrow his Tombstone VHS tape and he looked at me with the same intensity as he did all those years ago and without cracking a smile, he said “I love this tape. If you break it, I will break you... I freaking love that guy.

 I don’t blame him though. Tombstone is legit.

I think everyone boy should have to do this. Talking to a dad is a rite of passage. I, for sure as heck, didn’t go through all of that with the little girls I had crushes on for some punk kid to Snapchat my kid without going through me. When my kids start middle school, my son will call and speak to parents before any girl he is interested in. My girls will only date boys who are respectful enough to talk to me first. I know these little flings won’t lead to marriage; however, I want my kids to know I am fully committed to watching over them (even when they despise my actions).  I’m still learning and praying on how to parent. I don’t want to smother them, but I also want them to understand their value. They also need to be confident that dad has got their back and understands how much of a treasure they are. Let’s be honest, I have some good lookin’ kids. Titus is super handsome and such a little charmer. He is going to know how to treat women with respect. Even now he is learning to always hold the door and the girls always get to go in the car first. Just little things like that. I want a raise a Godly man and awesome husband and dad. I want him to understand the honest value of a wife and be a servant leader in his family. He’s clearly already spotted the physical beauty of a lady ;) Now I have three girls who are just strikingly beautiful. It’s not just because the fact that they are my babies, so they are pretty because they are mine. I honestly believe these three girls are drop dead gorgeous, stunning beauties. There’s no way that I am not going to try my best to train them up to realize how much of a treasure they are. Just like their brother, they need to be respectful of boys they are interested in. They need to find people who love their kind hearts, hilarious sense of humor, their amazingly sharp minds and their love of life not just their beautiful faces. (It’s clear I’m a dad. Most of this stuff is clearly from a man’s point of view. Sorry ladies). Each of my kids is amazing and have so much to offer the world. If they choose to get married and have children, then I think that’s amazing. If they choose not to and pursue other life dreams, then I trust that they will make the right choices as adults. However, as kids and teenagers, I do believe they need to be taught to respect themselves and others.

Not trying to brag, but look at dem babies. 

 As for me, I have no clue where, when, who, or what my romantic life might look like. It’s definitely a big decision that requires a lot of patience and prayer. Right now, I’m just living my dream of being a dad. I truly desire to marry again one day. I LOVED being a husband. I love being romantic at times, funny at times, a helper at times, and being someone’s best friend. I’ve shared that once before. It was amazing for the most part; however, that got stolen from me. I want those things back, but I’m just waiting on the right person at the right time. God’s got my back. I’m positive I will be fine. Seriously though, what woman could resist this?  Hahaha, don’t answer that one ;)

Hello Ladies



Thursday, September 17, 2015

Full-Time I.T.Specialist/Full-Time Daddy/Part-Time Stud Muffin

Considering how much I absolutely love my job and how much time I invest in it, I don’t really talk about it that much on the blog. So for this post, I wanted to give my take on working and parenting.

First, let me explain what I do for a living. I am the Instructional Technology Specialist for the College of Nursing and Health Sciences. Fun Fact, before I was an Instructional Technology Specialist, I was a Testing Specialist, before that I was a Media Specialist. Apparently, I am very adept at specializing. When I first got hired at VSU, there wasn’t really a job description for my position. My boss’s words for my job duties were literally four words, and I quote, “Make the faculty happy.” So that’s really what I do. I absolutely love my job. There’s always something different every day, creating videos, fixing computers, managing databases, equipment training, wearing costumes for orientation, or doing a killer impression of one of my bosses…

"Why we got so many cotton pickin' meetings round here?"

My bosses and co-workers were pretty much therapists during all of the horrible and sad times that occurred in my life over the past two years. I don’t think I could have made it if it weren’t for these people at work. If you’re reading this, you know who you are. Thanks guys. I really mean it. The CONHS (College of Nursing and Health Sciences) team has provided so much support and happiness for me. SAPPY ALERT: If you don’t want the sap, just scroll until you see the picture of cartoon manatee . It will be over then) Ok, here’s the truth. To me my job is much more than what I do. Sure, I’m good at tech stuff and enjoy it, but I view my job as a way to help return relieve I have received from my work family. I call them my family, because they are. Time after time, I honestly had no idea how I was going to manage time wise or money wise. I was having panic attacks. However, my work just said “work from home or bring them up here”. Other times, they took up a big college wide fundraiser (without my knowledge) amongst themselves to raise money for my childcare. They have come in my office and when they have overheard me crying from the hallway and just sat with me. They have heard me scream and yell through my office walls on the phone and not passed any judgment. They have always made me kids feel welcome at work. They invited me into my their offices just to check on me and cheer me up. They show immense concern for the difficulty of balancing work with raising kids alone. I’ve had people ask me why I don’t just move closer to family or close friends. Honestly, it’s because of the people I work with. Every single person up there is an amazing person, and I feel so blessed to be able to help with projects.  So yeah, I can’t really express how much weight my bosses and co-workers have lifted from my shoulders just being supportive and kind. It’s really not their job; they are just really that kind and understanding.

Enough with the sap Seth… 

Balancing work and kids can be extremely hard. Even with a flexible work schedule, I still have quite a bit of responsibilities at my job. I typically am handling 3 or 4 major projects at a time while also assisting each individual faculty with their own personal projects, all while doing day to day tech responsibilities: updating the website, troubleshooting and tech repair, managing the blog at work, etc. It can get a bit overwhelming at times if I don’t keep on top of things. Honestly, my kids don’t get it, neither should they have to. In their eyes, dad lives the dream life. He just sits around work coloring pictures, eating snacks, and watching Netflix (what they typically do while they are at my work).  Most days after picking up my kids, I give the kids “free time”. This normally consists of me handing out pop-tarts and begging them to not cover the entire living with baby powder (happened before.), microwave a 2 liter of coke (happened before.),  or flushing socks down the toilet (happened before.).

Ever try cleaning up baby powder? 
I would rather puke up twice based lasagna than do that again.

Once I go over the rules of that day’s free time, I sit down at my desk in my room and somewhat barricade myself to get back to work. My job is nice, because I can do a lot of things anywhere as long as I have a computer and internet access. Normally, I have to scream through my closed bedroom door for them to stop stabbing each other with plastic swords or not to eat the spider Neela just caught, but all in all it works out fine. I will say that when I’m finishing up my work for the day, I always have a mixture of pure terror and utter fascination to see what my kids will have done to the house. This is the honest truth about what happened today when I was working from home and the kids were having “free time”. I open to door to hear some scraping noise and Titus BUSTING OUT laughing. Apparently, he dumped out the Cheez-it’s we got from the store yesterday on the floor and was making a Cheez-it angel (think snow angel) on his back. Every few seconds while waving his hands and feet, he would semi roll over on his side and use his tongue to grab some cheez-it’s for a quick energy boost.  Stevie was being good. She was drawing wolves on the ipad. “Ok, I was thinking. This isn’t too bad. Olive is probably playing with blocks and Neela is probably butt naked pretending to be a frog in her closet.” Well, I was wrong. I open the girl’s room to find Olive and Neela “making toys”. This process involved using tampons that Crissy left in the bathroom and lining the bottom of the sand bucket with them. Then Neela would spit into the bucket and Olive was dumping coffee grains onto the spit. Then to top it off, they were mixing vick’s vapor rub and leaves from outside together into some sort of menthol foliage combination for the top layer of the “toy”. Luckily, I stopped the process before they could actually play with that monstrosity.

However, a lot of times, they come to work with me. They are actually super well behaved at my work and my bosses and co-workers are so friendly and accepting of my little rugrats. My kids have attended graduations, convocations, orientations, trainings, faculty meetings, and many other events. They are pretty much pros at going to work with dad.  We are like a herd, just all walking around in a big ole group. Everyone seems to have their own role within the group:

Stevie: Equality Control- In charge of making sure everyone has their fair share of absolutely everything. She will seriously time the other kids at the water foundation… “OK STOP!!! You have had 4 seconds of water. NEXT!!!” Or when it comes to crayons. “Ok guys, there is one blue crayon. We can all use this for 10 seconds at a time, or I can get dad’s work scissors can cut it into tiny pieces for us to share.”

Neela: Swing and Miss Humor- I don’t know if you watched Neela’s little video when she was telling the jokes or read the post about Neela and Stevie getting in fights about Neela’s bad jokes, but I can tell you one thing for certain. That girl is going to be cracking some jokes. I’m pretty sure her motto is just keep talking until someone either laughs or growls at you like a coyote to get you to stop.

Titus: The Idea Man – Titus is a big concept thinker. He’s not really interested in the details of a plan. He just sees the big picture and how awesome it will be. For example, we were all in my office and I saw Titus’s face light up. I asked if he needed to go potty. He said yes and then insisted that Neela needed to go to. Well, after about 12 minutes of them being gone, I finally take a break from my work, get up from my desk, grab the other two kids, and walk around the hallways looking for them. Apparently, Titus has pushed some chairs close to the vending machine. He has Neela standing in the chair pressing buttons, while he is talking about all of the candy he is going to eat. Side note, our vending machines are in little glass rooms. So I literally stood there and watched them try to get candy out of this machine by pressing random buttons with no money for like 3.5 minutes

Olive: Physical Fitness Ensurer- Olive can be a runner. “Olive, where are you going? Olive? Olive?! Olive, you cannot slide down eight flights of stairs on your stomach! Don’t even think about it. Crap. She’s going for it.” I get in a lot of sprints trying to save Olive’s life on a daily basis. Ps. I say Olive's name about 4,213 times a day. :)

Lastly, I usually try to get some more work done at night when the kids are in bed. Actually right after I post this, I’m about to finish up a faculty project in Photoshop. This is probably the most peaceful way to work, but definitely the least comfortable. My kids really enjoy sleeping in the bed with me. (I know. It’s not good. It’s a long story. Trust me, I’m working on it.) So every night, just like right now as I type this, I am laying on my stomach with Olive sleeping on my back, Neela sleeps under my legs between my knees and my feet, Stevie is sleeping sideways and jabbing her boney little feet into my ribs and Titus passed out and snoring like chainsaw on the mattress in my closet (Yeah, it’s freaking legit in my closet).  No matter how much I act like I don’t like it, I really do love it. I love them and I love my job. It’s the perfect life for me right now.


Monday, September 14, 2015

Neela's Nest - "Joke Night"

I have a funny post about house cleanliness written up (I will post it tomorrow. It should be entertaining), but Neela wanted to do her thing for tonight's post. She talked about her "website movie" all day. She was in a joking mode tonight, which I loved (sorry for the shaking camera from me laughing) .

So without further ado...

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Stevie's Section 9/13/15

The kids have started to become really interested in the blog. They love to sit and let me read it to them. They just laugh and laugh. However, Stevie was mad that I wrote about poop yesterday. They also love to see how many people are reading it.

Yesterday, each of the kids asked if they could start putting stuff on here. I thought it sounded like a super fun idea. Stevie wanted to name her contributions "Stevie's Section" and wanted to make her first post a video, so here it is:

Stevie designed her own little banner :) She told me exactly how she wanted it.

Hope you are in the mood to learn a little about cats... Meow.

Saturday, September 12, 2015


I don’t know how it is in most homes, but in the Megow house “poop” is a multi-faceted conversation topic. Every family has a story about someone in their family that finger painted with poop or tried to eat it before they knew better. It’s just a phase of life man, embrace it.  I try to limit the amount of “poop talk” in the house. It’s just kind of gross and gets old after a while, but I can tell you kids this age love telling you a good poop joke. I try to teach my kids to strive higher in their humor, so I tell them, don’t go for the easy laugh. Expand your horizons and try to work in some toilet paper jokes in there from time to time. Speaking of toilet paper, I saw this the other day and thought it was spot on.

The picture above is pretty accurate. I can’t tell you the number of times, I have had to yell combined noise of “Daniel’s Tiger Neighborhood”, Neela and Stevie playing animal hospital, and Olive screaming about God knows what, to try to get someone to bring me toilet paper. It was awesome; however now, every time I ask Stevie (the self-elected leader of the children) will yell through the bathroom door, “Dad, I know boys only need toilet paper for poop. We are not opening this door until the stink goes away.” So I just sit and wait, wishing Titus didn’t use the entire bottle of Vanilla Glade Air Freshener as cologne that morning before school.

I do think most kids seem to find poop hilarious. No matter how many lectures you can give them about how it’s gross and smelly, kids just find the thought of poop funny. I can’t blame them. Even the word is kind of fun to say. Try it, when’s the last time you were alone and just said the word poop to yourself. Ever?  I  can pretty much guarantee you will smile. So everyone, let’s all say it out loud together… “Poop”. Fun wasn’t it? If you are too embarrassed to participate, check out this fun video making the rounds in the Megow house.


There’s a new trend going around in the Megow house. Neela seems to be championing it. She is constantly asking to have corn (either kernel or on the cob). She always enjoyed “nature food”, so I just thought she was expanding her horizons, but really I think she views eating corn because it’s fun two times. She loves the way it tastes, but everyone knows what happens in the restroom after eating kernel corn. I have literally walked into the bathroom 3 times and found all four children leaning over the potty with Neela pointing out the yellow kernels in her stool floating in the water. Three thoughts on that: 1) That is just gross 2) My kids are freaking hysterical 3) Stevie, I love how you can visually examine your sister’s feces for two minutes but can’t crack a door to throw in a roll of toilet paper.

Another thing I have learned with kids is that skid marks are just a part of life. At night, I’m doing laundry thinking to myself, “Look at all these cute little kid clothes. What a cute little dress for Olive or what a fun spiderman shirt for Titus.” When I get to the underwear, some days I’m more shocked at the number of little underwears without a light brown stain. Not trying to sound wasteful, but after the same pair gets marked enough I just trash it. Cotton can only take so much bleach ;) Hahaha

Neela loved T.P. as a baby :)

My kids are starting to get older, so even though I hear poop jokes at least twelve times a day, the physical presence of poop outside of the toilet is starting to decrease, which I love. However, I’m not too bothered by poop. (Which is maybe why I can write this much about poop and not think it’s weird… Wait is it weird. Yeah, it is. Sorry. Megows are weird.) I think one of the main reasons I don’t get grossed out is that we did cloth diapers for a long time. In my head I thought, it’s not going to be that gross. I will just wash them regularly and dump out any solids in the toilet. Awwww, past Seth. That’s cute how you think that.  I eventually became aware of the risks involved with cloth diapers pretty quickly. I was pretty intense about it too. They were kind of expensive so we wanted to get our money’s worth. Did your kids ever have one of those amazing number 2 explosions where it shot out the back of their diaper up into the neck of their shirt while it slowly dripped back down their back onto the outside of the diaper? I’m sure you did. Normally, you would locate a nuclear reactor to properly dispose of that horrid formerly white Huggies diaper. However, with a cloth diaper, you gotta scrub that junk. This isn’t a little baby turd either. This is like someone threw a little cute orange piece of cotton into Mount Vesuvius filled with hot, liquid smelly brown chunks. We did cloth diapers for years, so yeah, poop doesn’t phase me.  

Yep. Pretty Accurate.

But honestly, parents, how pumped to you get to actually take a deuce in private? Readers, if you don’t have kids yet, you have no idea how sweet it is to be able to poop when you want to. I’m not too shy or embarrassed about going in a public restroom, but I will say that with kids I feel like I’m constantly having to hold it. Parents am I the only one who doesn’t have time to use the restroom? I mean sometimes I feel like my eyes are getting browner I have to hold it so long at times. So now if I’m anywhere without the kids (typically at work… sorry VSU), I have no problems enjoying the silence and taking care of business.  Honestly, I have no inhibitions going in public anymore. I might make people uncomfortable. The unspoken rules of the men’s restroom are: “Eyes forward and keep it quiet and quick”. Sometimes, I will break “quiet” portion of the unspoken rule. Now I’m not a bathroom stall cell phone talker, but I do just try to enjoy the quiet experience and usually end up singing or whistling. I know guys at the urinal think I’m crazy, but hey, hater’s gonna hate. I just get too excited to not have to scream from the toilet to stop fighting or trying to figure out what the huge BANG noise that just came from the kitchen, that I can’t help but whistle the Andy Griffith theme song.


Wednesday, September 9, 2015

"Dad Night"

I think a lot of parents get asked how we manage to get the energy to keep up with children, as well as, work, cleaning, chores, bills, etc. At least a few times, I week people ask how I avoid being tired. Well, I think everyone has their own method. I kind of like the Hulk approach. ;)

Seriously though, being a parent is exhausting. And no this isn’t going to be a rant about how much harder being a single parent is, because in my opinion it’s about the same.  I view the whole normal parenting situation vs single parenting situation, similar to the whole "more money you have, the more you spend". I was probably just as tired when me and Crissy were together,still best friends, working both super hard at work and being parents together. When she left, I just had to really focus on exactly what I needed to do for my kids, work, and personal life. Really, I just cut out little luxuries for myself. So I probably spend as much time as all the other parents who take it seriously. I might get a little less sleep than I did before and had to learn a lot more things, but all in all, parenting itself is a lot of work if you are doing it right.

My main method for charging myself up is finding joy in little things. I always try to think of one thing that I’m excited about that day. Like a little treat to myself that I get to experience with someone else. For instance, today I was excited about giving my friend’s daughter some pictures of some tigers. It was her birthday and she needed a few pictures of tigers for birthday cake ideas.  I guarantee some people reading this were thinking, that’s the most depressing thing ever… the fact that what I am most excited about today was giving a kid some printed off pictures of tigers. Maybe there is no one reading who is thinking that; however, I used to think that way. I really had to train myself to understand where happiness comes from.  It’s all about thinking about others. To me, it was just a few pictures of some tigers; however to her, it was such an important event. Do you remember being six? Imagine someone giving you a big book of pictures of your favorite animal that you get to pick from and have your birthday cake just like that. I mean come on, when you were six was anything more exciting than your birthday? That’s what I thought about this morning when I woke up. The look on that little girl’s face when I handed her the little folder full of tiger pictures with her name on it.  That’s how I try to keep up my energy. Just trying to find at least ONE thing special thing I can do for something else that will make them smile. 

Her little birthday cake Tiger Folder :)

However, there are points in my life where I have pretty much no more to give. Just completely drained. Last Friday was one of those days. I got home from work and picked up the kids. We were leaving Saturday morning, so I didn’t make any big plans for Friday. Since I am normally out and about with my kids, they sometimes enjoy a night at the house with no company or big plans or activities. They just want to play and veg out as a family. I was perfectly ok with this. Honestly, I was so exhausted from the week and was hoping to get a somewhat quiet and peaceful night. I stopped on the way home to get a frozen pizza and milk. The night was set. So we just hang out and I start baking the pizza. During dinner I keep saying to these four little sets of eyes staring at me, that dad is going to take a break tonight. Please don’t ask dad for anything. Please don’t fight. Please don’t cry or whine. No fits will be pitched tonight because this is “Dad Night”.

Well, let’s recap how “Dad Night” went. I went to my room and actually was working on a blog post (while the kids were awake ) and in about 7 minutes I hear the most bloodcurdling scream (It’s not really pain, just sounds like some sort of rage)… and… I just kind of sit there waiting and hoping it would simmer down. I hear it again. Should I stand up and go check it out. Maybe… but it’s dad night. In my head, I’m thinking “they’ll be fine”. So again just like Samuel from the Bible, I hear the voice a third time. I pitifully trudge out of my room to see what this commotion was all about. Well, Olive found some food dye. Apparently, she reassured Titus it would be ok to play with it. (Side note: Titus is very trusting.) They then proceeded to paint the floor with these little squirt bottles of food coloring. “Seriously, guys on Dad Night?, I asked.” Anyways, there were laughing and having a blast ruining the resale value of my house. Too tired to have a huge discussion, I take away the food coloring and hand them both a wet rag.

As I am walking back to my room, I hear the scream again. “Crap,” I think to myself, “It’s the big girls.” So I hang my head and slowly walk back to their room. I peek in the door to see Stevie and Neela just staring at each other fiercely. They haven’t seen me yet and I can see they are just having a disagreement over some toy or something. But I hear my brain whispering to my ear.  “it’s Dad Night and they haven’t seen you yet. Just quietly back away and sneak to your room. They won’t kill each other. Besides you just bought a big pack of Neosporin and bandaids, so you’re covered anyways.”  However even though it was dad night, I still opened the door and walked in between the fiery and silent glare of two rage induced sisters. I ask what’s wrong and Neela speaks up first “Stevie is the meanest person ever. I don’t want to play with her anymore.” Stevie never one to lose an argument, quickly fires back, “I didn’t even start it…” Immediately, I knew this tactic wasn’t going to get me anywhere. They are beyond mad at each other, so I needed to really break things down and find out what happened because I have never seen them this angry. I start to break down the fight. After about 15 minutes of prying information from their little brains, I finally figure out what happened. Neela was mad that Stevie didn’t laugh at her joke. Stevie was mad because Neela’s joke was “the dumbest thing I have ever heard”. Hahahaha. So I asked Neela to tell me the joke. Immediately, she starts smiling and can barely contain herself from laughter when she says, “Why did the peacock be friends with the pizza?”  I ask, “I don’t know Neela why?”… “PEANUTS!” as she literally falls to the floor laughing and Stevie starts again with her bloodcurdling scream.  I just kind of look at Stevie and say “It’s Dad night, laugh at your sisters joke,” and shut the door.

Titus and Olive by now are taking a bath. I already ran it for them right after dinner, so I know everything is fine in there. I hear them laughing and giggling from my master bathroom. So I just sit down and continue to work on my blog and some other stuff. About 30 minutes later, I turn around the find what looks like the Blue Man Group dashing out of my bathroom door and diving onto my freshly sheeted bed. I just stare at these little blue monsters rolling, jumping, and staining my sheets in a silent utter amazement. I really don’t have words to say because I’m still trying to figure out how they are the same color as Violet Beauregard from Willy Wonka. I walk into the bathroom to find out that shortly after “cleaning” up the original food coloring mess, Titus found the mega size bottles of rit-dye and proceeded to dump a few blues in the tub. (I like to tie dye with the kids a bunch so I always keep a lot on hand).  So I drain it and bleach it. Then put my little two bluebirds back in the bath and get them clean. I am walking the little two from the tub into the living room to have another pow-wow about “Dad Night”. Of course, when we get in the living room, Stevie and Neela inform me that they found a bullfrog outside, brought it inside, and proceeded to accidentally let it go. Now it’s lost in the house. I pause for a moment and tell them “Good luck finding the frog,” stick the two little kids in bed, lock the door, and go to sleep.

The blue dye tub

 PS: we are still looking for the frog.