Monday, February 29, 2016

Adulting is hard...

Lately, I’ve been feeling a little guilty about the blog/facebook, regarding how I post. I think it’s something everyone does, but I just wanted to discuss it a little. Reality vs Online. I’ve actually discussed this exact topic before regarding one specific night at dinner (read it here). But I think this post will be a little more serious.  I’m writing this is the middle of the night, so I honestly have no clue where it will go and even make sense. hahaha

Man, life can be hard. I know everyone struggles in various areas. Some people pretend like they don’t but they do. The internet has really snowballed that in my opinion. We get so well at portraying this fun, attractive, put together life for people to “like” that people get a skewed view of what our life actually is. Today, I am going to talk specifically about my struggles. I know everyone has them so this definitely isn’t a pity party. I think of it as more or less balancing the scales between the fun, wacky family image I portray online vs reality of how I feel about life at times. I'm fairly positive other people will relate, so here we go…

It comes in highs and lows. Mountains and valleys. Sometimes it’s good, other’s it’s not. I feel so much pressure at times, it literally feels like my head is going to explode or I can actually feel my hair growing gray. No matter how good life is going, there are always constants running through my brain pretty much at all times. These constants change with time. For the past few weeks/months, this is what is typically running through my brain at any given moment:

1) These four kids are pretty much solely dependent on me. For everything. That alone is a lot. 

2) I am getting more and more responbilities at work. It’s good, but I always have a full plate each day. There are always little fires to put out, which always delay my plan for the day.
        - Then I break down each individual project and it’s impending due date

3) How am I supposed to talk about mom? How frequently? Which child can handle what?

4) I have to sort and purge out clothes to make room for the clean laundry that’s seasonal, fits, and is waiting to be put up.

5) I have to clean my house, lawn, backyard. It’s so cluttered and disorganized. I have bags waiting to be taken to donate and others to the dump. I have closets, a storage room, an attic, and garage to clean and purge.
         - I have so much junk collected in every square inch of the house.

6) I have to repair a few things on my house to get it ready to sell by this summer. Then I have to sell it while living here simultaneously. Once I get it sold, I will have to move somewhere locally. How will the move go? Will the kids be able to stay in their school with their friends?

7) The kids need a lot more individual time working on education. They need more one on one time to work on individual skills, but with my other responsibilities, I literally can’t give them the time they need.

8) I would love for them to have a positive woman in their life (step-mom), but how am I supposed to do that if I can’t find time to maintain my normal life. I can’t even catch up on my stuff. No way am I going to dump it on someone else.  However, it would be nice to have someone to let me put my head in their lap and rub my head after a long day. I just don’t have the time to even think about that.

9) I need to get summer care covered so I can work.

10) The kids need more time around friends.

11) The kids need to be eating healthier, watching screens less, and be more involved in the community.
-Again, it’s a time thing. If I’m working, cleaning, doing paperwork, paying bills, working   on homework, etc. that means I’m not focusing on other things. I feel like my kids are constantly waiting on me to finish something before they have my attention.

12) I need to visit and talk with my family and friends more.

13) I have a lot of personal projects that people are waiting on me to complete.

14) Finances.

15) I need to sleep more.

It’s like I continually fall farther and farther behind, but can’t be behind so I just working harder and harder to catch up. For instance, here’s a little example. Just one little thing can cause a log jam. Titus used to take a seizure medicine. It messed up his sleep cycles, so he had to take sleep medicine to help him sleep. He’s been taking it maybe 2 years. I didn’t want him to grow up and be dependent on medicine to sleep, so I decided to really try to get him off the medicine. So instead of doing my normal routine of washing dishes, sweeping and mopping, laundry, play time, catching up on work, etc that I do every night between bath time and bedtime, I tried super hard to get him relaxed and sleepy. Good news, is it worked. He’s off the sleep medicine, but it took about two weeks. So all of my daily responsibilities got pushed back farther into the night or to another day.  Something always is coming up like that daily (as I’m sure it does with you as well). Neela is probably getting held back a year (she’s the youngest in her class). She is not progressing with reading like she should. So I’m trying to spend extra time with her. I just got an email from Titus’s teacher saying he’s fallen behind on his sight word list. I know it’s because I’ve been diverting that time to Neela. It’s always some judgment call that I’m ultimately alone in making. Thank God Stevie is an early bloomer. To be honest, besides checking her homework and skimming through the Friday folder. The only thing I know about her education is what we talk about or what comes up in conversation.  It makes me sad not being involved like I would like to be in certain areas of their lives. I know I try my best and do my best. That's important to remind myself. 

I feel like I have been running with an empty gas tank for so long. I try my best to stay upbeat and positive. Every day, I try to wake up smiling and happy singing “It’s going to be a great day today.”  I will take a little video and put it on Facebook. It cheers me up a little seeing people adoring my sweet kids. However, I feel like I can only mentally process and physically do so much. Each day, I wake up more tired than the last with more things to do.  Man, I’ve prayed so much for endurance and joy. Sometimes it feels like I’m trying to wind down the clock with the best attitude possible and mostly for my kids not to notice. I do have joy and happy times, but single fatherhood has definitely taken its toll. There are moments, I feel dizzy and nauseous from stress, lack of sleep, or loneliness so I just try to rest but there’s constantly someone needing something at home, work, or just life in general.

So I guess the point of this is to reassure even when people seem to have the perfect life, that really no one has it completely together. Adulting is hard. God helps fill gaps and build me up spiritually, but even Jesus at times got upset, drained, or physically tired. It’s just the human experience.

On a brighter note being a Megow is awesome. My life is exhausting and so stressful, but I really wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’m proud of the person I’ve become through the stuff I’ve walked through. (It feels really good to say that). Even through all of the uphill climbs, I’m grateful to be alive and have healthy and happy kids. I’m blessed. Sure, this is a tough time, but I know it will get better. I always tell myself that. Even if more and more stuff pile up on my to do list, tomorrow will always be better than today. If I can make today a good day, tomorrow will be even better J 

I just wanted to share my struggles and let people know that you are definitely not alone with this stuff. We all deal with it. I don’t post like stuff for sympathy or pity. Nor for “likes” or for social media shares. Mostly, I like to remind people that no matter how bad it gets we are all blessed because we have a Father that has our back ;) That's always a reason to smile.

Be Blessed,

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Friday Fun Facts 2/26/16

1) Neela has warts on her leg. She has named them: Stinky, Coo coo clock, Joe, and Diamond. “Diamond is the naughty one. He gets in trouble.”

2) Titus is really into sharks and dinosaurs, but like real sharks and dinosaurs. He loves the raw, unfiltered look of nature. I took them to the library today and he asked the librarian if they had any books with “sharks or dinosaurs with blood dripping off their teeth from eating”. This is what we found…

He loves this freaking book.

He also insisted on bloody teeth on his shark valentine’s box. Hahaha

3) Olive is into this thing where she likes me to take pictures of her. But then when I bring up the camera on my phone she acts bashful. The other day I took a few pictures, showed her the pictures, and explained “you need to smile” in a picture. She looked at the pictures, pointed to one where she looked shy and not looking at the camera, and said “No daddy, I look cute like this.”

4) One of my little quirks is that I keep my texting “read receipts” on and love when others do. I don’t see anything wrong with not displaying them at all and only have like 3 friends who display them. I just think it’s one of those open and transparent traits that I love to see in people.

5) The other day Titus peed on a dead lizard

6) I couldn’t figure out how to do something on my phone, so before I could google it, Stevie took my phone to her room for a minute. She came back and had figured it out herself. She showed me and said “I want to teach people computer things like you do when I grow up.” :)

7) Tonight Neela literally asked me for a “sweaty hot dog” for dinner.

8) Olive is going through this super cute "always wants to wear a knit beanie" phase

9) The other day I was rushed getting my kids ready so I didn't have time to iron my shirt, so I grabbed a sweater to wear at work to cover up my wrinkly shirt. When I got to the work parking lot and put on my sweater, I realized the dog peed on it and it couldn’t be worn. So I just carried around a bunch of cords and equipment that day trying to hide my wrinkly shirt. Hahaha

10) Stevie likes to make little puzzles and clues for things. I found my phone like this and asked if she changed it.

She said yes and that it’s a clue for what she wants to do this weekend. After awhile of clueless guessing, she gave me hints that word “dog” is in the name. So she told me, she wants to go “Dog Quincidence” (Pronounced: coincidence). Finally, I gathered enough clues to figure out that the day we got our dog, we went to Dairy Queen (DQ). Pretty much, Stevie made the background on my phone a puppy to tell me she wants an Oreo Blizzard.

11) Neela likes to watch Scooby Doo. She told me she likes the show because she wants to marry Fred. "He's so handsome and he is good at building traps. He can catch me all of the aminals I want"

All about that ascot

Be Blessed,

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Neela's Hobby Lobby Moment and Dad's Meltdown

Here’s a quick catch-up of what’s been going on at the Megow house…

*Disclaimer- there’s some adult humor. So again, if you might be offended please skip over this post or at least until you see pictures of the kids painting J *

The kids have been itching to go to Hobby Lobby and do some kind of craft. Side note: The Megow kids LOVE Hobby Lobby. It’s their favorite place. I didn’t really have any idea of what we were going to do so we were just walking around. Now one thing I’ve learned how to do (reasonably well) is to kind of carry on multiple conversations with individual or groups of my kids. Each of the kids were looking and talking about different things we should buy or make. Neela however was hung up on talking about some movie she wanted to see. It’s a new Pixar movie called “The Good Dinosaur”. Her and I happened to see a trailer for it on the computer one day and she’s dying to watch it.

Neela for some reason is convinced the little boy is naked and thinks it’s just the funniest thing. (My kids are pretty innocent when it comes to things like that. I like keeping their innocence as long as possible). Anyways, we were all walking around Hobby Lobby for some time and finally found the project we wanted to do. The kids wanted to get little treasure boxes and paint them. They are called “private boxes” (we had them growing up too). 

They had quite a few styles to choose from. It was really fun letting them pick.

Pretty much, you can’t open up anyone’s else private box. It’s just a little way for the kids to be able to keep little things away from their siblings. The isle was kind of crowded, but eventually we got to where all of the little wooden boxes were. They had quite a few to pick from and each design was about $2-3, so I let the kids pick out the box they wanted. Stevie picked out hers. Titus found the one he liked. Olive chose one as well .However, Neela wasn’t too interested in a box and instead said (quite loudly) “Dad, I want to watch that movie with the naked boy. The one you showed me on the computer.” The two older ladies beside me, literally stopped in the middle of their conversation and gave me “you’re going to burn in hell” looks. Now looking back my reaction might not have been the best, but in the moment it was just what came out. I leaned over close to the ladies and whispered so the kids couldn’t hear me. “Don’t worry. She’s not talking about child pornography or anything sexual involving naked boys. She just wants to watch a dinosaur cartoon.” The two older classic southern belle women quickly grabbed their gold colored handbags, fastened their red hats, and marched to another isle. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Not one of my finer moments in defending my children’s behavior.

I really wasn’t feeling well. I was really, really tired. I shortly found out after all of this I has strep (Getting better now. Thank Jesus for antibiotics).Anyways, the kids really wanted to do decorate their private boxes so we did. It was really fun.


I think Titus likes his "privacy" more than anyone. 
According to him, "I'm going to put so much candy in this thing."

This was literally Stevie's paint plate AFTER she finished. 
She is very detail oriented and took great care in washing and drying her brush after using a new color

Neela on the other hand takes a different approach to keeping her paint organized. ;)

Now here comes my mental breakdown. After everyone was done with their boxes, I gave everyone dinner & a snack and let them play or watch a show. I had to finish work and it was due that day, so I really needed about an hour to myself to sit down and concentrate. Normally, my kids are really good about this. So I went to my little home office desk and finished up what I needed to do. I probably worked alone in my room for about 45 minutes. I came out to find out that Olive has gotten out all of the paint and proceeded to dump. it. everywhere. All over the table, the floors, baseboards, window blinds, etc. She had also covered her hands with paint and painted the walls of my house. To make matters worse, both Stevie and Neela were playing in the paint as well. Not as messy as their little sister, but for sure not in a clean way. They definitely knew better.

I didn’t really take pictures of the complete damage.
But here’s a quick snapshot I took before I cleaned the table.
And yes, they decided to use limes to paint with as well.

At first, I was really trying to keep it together. I gave everyone walmart bags, paper towels, wash cloths, and cleaning spray. Apparently, mountains of wet paint are beyond cleaning power of my children because they just seemed to spread it everywhere (walls included). I pretty much lost my cool and sent everyone involved to bed. I wish I could say I didn’t yell, but clearly that wasn’t the case. I was fuming mad. I’m trying to get my house ready to sell. Before sending them to bed, I strongly gave an intense diatribe about how hard dad works to keep things clean and how mad I was. I really was furious; seeing paint smeared everywhere in the house just made me so agitated. I stayed up about two hours and cleaned it all up. Well, about the best I could. I think the reason, I shared that story is I felt so bad about it later that night. I might have been the 102 fever, but really I'm sure it was an overreaction about the paint, but I didn’t sleep a wink that night. I hate when I lose my temper like that. I mean I absolutely hate it.

I guess the reason I shared that little story about me losing my cool is that I think everyone does from time to time. It’s not acceptable nor positive, however, it is human. We all overreact from time to time. The next morning all of the girls climbed in my bed and we all apologized. Kids are so quick to forgive; I love that about children. It’s something I am trying to learn from my kids J

Be Blessed,

Monday, February 8, 2016

The Definitive Listing of Megow Birthday Parties

So Olive's birthday party was last Saturday. It doing a pretty low key event this year for her. Doing four big parties a year just isn't feasible for me. While I was sitting kind of planning it all out I thought it was be fun to pull all of the past birthday parties from collecting dust and share.

I decided to not go in chronological order, but rather listing each kid by birthdays. Hope that makes sense and hope you enjoy :)

Stevie's 1st Birthday
Stevie was obsessed with some old 90's show called Jay Jay the Jet Plane when she was little. It was her first word. "Jay Jay". So as customary with your first born's first birthday, you go way too big :) It was a pretty epic event and we invited pretty much every person that lived within the greater Valdosta area.

Neela's 1st Birthday
Neela was obsessed with balloons when she was younger. That made it pretty easy to plan a party, especially since the dollar store had a ton of balloon themed stuff and I can whip out balloon animals in my sleep. Neela wore a little balloon outfit which highlighted her especially chunky thighs. She was the cutest little thing :)

Titus's 1st Birthday
The Megows were visiting the kids' godparents and my close friends Luke and Megan Shiver in Augusta, GA. (Me and Luke go waaaaay back). Anyways, for his birthday we took Titus to the Augusta Zoo and went swimming. It was such a fun little trip. For his birthday dinner, Megan made homemade pizza and chocolate lava cake. 

Olive's 1st Birthday
By now, the lesson had been learned about first birthdays. They can be really expensive and a lot of work. I really wanted to keep with Olive's current schedule and not overload her with a ton of people and pressure for her first birthday, so I suggested a simple family breakfast birthday party. We invited my cousin Parker, because we hadn't seen him in so long. Of course, Minnie made a surprise appearance. I loved this so much. I made a huge breakfast buffet and had cinnamon rolls instead of cake. 

Stevie's 2nd Birthday

Stevie's 2nd birthday was the infamous "hodgepodge" party. Stevie just picked some of her favorite things and we decorated with a bunch of random themes. I remember some of the things she picked Mickey Mouse, Elmo, and Frosty the Snowman (her birthday is March 25). She went through a phase where she REALLY liked snowmen. Out of all of the characters we have had at birthdays, I don't think any have ever been as big of a hit as Frosty was at this party.

My nana <3 comment-3--="" nbsp="">

Neela's 2nd Birthday
Neela's birthday is in July. It gets HOT in South GA during July. Given the fact that she loved Strawberry Shortcake, she had a Strawberry Shortcake themed party and we served Fruit Smoothies and strawberry cheesecake bites as the dessert. She looked so cute dressed up as Strawberry. The funniest party about this party is that the morning of she woke up and announced she wanted a "Yo Gabba Gabba" party instead. So throughout the whole party she kept walking around saying "I don't know whose party this is. It isn't mine. I'm having a Yo Gabba Gabba party." hahahaha. She's always made me laugh.

Titus drank about a gallon of fruit smoothie :D hahahaha

Titus's 2nd Birthday
Titus really wanted to have his 2nd birthday at the McDonalds playplace. I loved that idea. He had a mullet and it just seemed to fit. Plus it was like $75 bucks. That included cake, ice cream, decorations, and Titus a little present. Stevie wore a french fry outfit. I dressed like a McDonalds worker and walked around being ultra serious about my McD's temporary employee status. hahaha

Olive in her "Small Fry" shirt. 
Cutest. thing. ever.

Olive's 2nd Birthday
The theme was "Olive, My love" after her favorite little book at the time. There were just a bunch of hearts everywhere, (which was super easy because she birthday is a week before Valentine's Day). There was little games outside and cute little decorations everywhere. 

Olive hasn't had a birthday yet that didn't have some sort of Minnie element.
She insists every year :)

Stevie's 3rd Birthday
Stevie was super obsessed with Cinderella at this age, so of course she had a Cinderella themed birthday. This thing was legit and had everything. Glass slipper cookies, actual Jaq and Gus mice for the kids to look at, princess and knight dress up clothes, a giant castle to color on, and Cinderella came too. My favorite story about this party is that on the way from the pet store with Jaq and Gus, the mice got loose in the car. So I had to go back and buy more. We said like a million traps and had to wait a week before we caught them. Imagine driving around in your car for a week knowing their were two mice running around in there... hahaha

Neela dressed like Lucifer the cat from the movie.
She kinda acted like him at the party too ;)

Neela's 3rd Birthday
By this point, I was getting tired of the typical party, so we did a Dumbo ice cream buffet party for Neela's third. We all dressed like characters from the movie and read the book. Our ice cream bar is legit. Neela wore a cute little Dumbo costume. This one was one of my favorites. :)

Titus was the ringmaster, Neela was Dumbo, Stevie was a clown, and Olive was the little mouse


I just loved this little party so much

Titus's 3rd Birthday/Neela's 4th Birthday
Since their birthdays are only about a month apart, we split the middle and had them a giant joint birthday. We reserved Jungle Gym's and brought the Red Power Ranger and Brobee from Yo Gabba Gabba. It was probably one of the biggest ones ever. It was super fun and both of the kids had individual recognition on their birthday, but it was a lot of fun combining them and doing it mega big.

Olive's 3rd Birthday
Olive's 3rd birthday was one of the first I really did all by myself. So it really means a lot to me. Mostly, because the older three stayed up late the night before and helped me decorate and plan things. Needless to say, I didn't get many pictures of this party. But it was a fun Pluto themed birthday. Dont worry, Minnie Mouse decor made an appearance as well ;)

Stevie working on the banner while Neela is writing down game ideas. 
This melts my heart :)

Stevie's 4th Birthday
In my opinion, Stevie's angry bird party was probably her favorite ever. I remember she was so excited about the party, she wanted to take her nap in the laundry room for some reason. She cracked the door and said she had to pee. I told her to wait and not open her eyes. I wanted to walk her to the bathroom with her eyes closed as to not spoil the surprise of the birthday party decorations and games. Anyways, she got so excited about the party, she just closed her eyes and ran to the bathroom; however, she ran straight into the wall. It was hilarious.


I made a giant slideshot and filled about 200 water balloons. 
The kids got to launch the water balloons at giant Angry Bird Pigs I made out of cardboard.

(Remember, we combined Neela's 4th and Titus's 3rd birthday)

Titus's 4th Birthday
I remember talking to Titus about what kind of party he wanted to have and he told me he wanted to have a "boy day" for his birthday instead. That means just me and him go out to do fun things (like a date I do with the girls, but just the boys). This was again just me and the kids by now, so Neela and Stevie stayed up extra late to help me make him a special costume for our special "boy day". We went to the movies to see Ninja Turtles in full costume, then went to the fun factory, and finally by the toy store. When we got home, we all went to Titus's favorite Chinese buffet. I loved this day so so much. It's probably in my top ten of favorite days ever.

One of my favorite pictures ever. 
My kids are seriously amazing.

Olive's 4th Birthday
Well, this is fun. Olive just had her birthday Saturday. So it should be easy to write about :) I wanted to do a low key event at the park with a few friends and family. I got a parachute and candy. Kids just shook and bounced the candy until it was all off and ran to pick it up. Kinda of like a giant pinata. We played it twice and that also served as my goodie bags for kids to take home. It was super cold, but still fun. Of course, Minnie Mouse made a visit. Favorite part of this party: My friend Emily Parker (who claims to be a party attendee professional) got lost on the way to party and showed up at the very end. hahahaha :) 

Stevie's 5th Birthday
Stevie's fifth party was a little shop pet shop themed event. It was super fun. Stevie was so so obsessed with Pet Shops, so she really liked it. I made little masks and let the kids eat their snacks out of little pet food bowls I got from the store (they were new, dont worry) hahaha. This was our first ever party with a pinata. The kids had a blast. However, Titus slept through the entire party and refused to wake up from his nap. He finally woke up at the very end and we took a picture together. It's one of my favorites.

Grumpy "Fresh from a nap" twins

Neela's 5th Birthday
Neela was dying to have her birthday party at the beach. She wanted a Pikachu themed party. Its a person from Pokemon. It was fun to decorate the beach condo with balloons, streamers, and pictures. We did face painting. I remember giving Neela a little tank to catch and store her hermit crabs. The next day, I remember she caught about 20! It was such a fun little party :)

Her face when she saw the party setup!
She was overjoyed :D

Titus's 5th Birthday
Out of all of the birthday parties, this is the only one I can say I get upset thinking about. Titus wanted a shark birthday party, but I literally didn't have time at that time in my life. It was pretty hectic. I was still recovering financially from the divorce and really didn't have a free minute to plan anything. My parents came down and brought him a shark cake. We had a little party at my Mimi's with my parents. Then the kids and I all went to Titus's favorite place, the Fun Factory. He had a super good time, but I still get upset that I couldn't throw him the party he wanted. We have already talked and this year for his 6th birthday, we are going all out and throwing the most epic Power Ranger themed party South Georgia has ever seen :) I love my buddy so much.

He did really love that shark cake so much :)

Stevie's 6th Birthday
This is about the time Frozen was making it's way into our children's heart and into our minds (slowly driving us more and more insane with every playing of "Let it go"). Of course, we had a Frozen party. Elsa and Anna came by and we had a Frozen slumber party. The girls just freaked out with excitement. After the princesses left, we all watched Frozen and the girls got to decorate their own cake. It was so fun. At the end of the night, we wrapped it up with bedtime stories.


Neela's 6th Birthday
I've had a few favorite parties over the years. This one might take the cake as number 1. Neela wanted an animal dance party. I built a stage, made costumes, picked out custom music, and recorded the whole thing. It just seriously just so much fun! I didn't take many pictures, but I did make a video of how it all turned out.

Stevie's 7th Birthday
Well, this is the last one... so far. I threw Stevie a pokemon themed party. Of course, I forgot to take pictures, but it was super fun. Since her birthday is around Easter, I hid a ton of pokemon characters in eggs. So they had to find the little characters. I think that's the point of Pokemon? hahaha. I have no clue. I made some sweet snack holders in the shape of Pokemon balls. My favorite part is that Neela took it upon herself to create some type of original decoration. She designed, cut out, and taped little ears to every chair to turn them into little Pikachus. I was on cloud 9 when I saw that :) Again, life was crazy so I didn't actually take pictures during the party.

Whew!!! That was a LONG post. 

Be Blessed,