My “Traditional vs Single” Parenting Truths

I’ve wanted to write this post since I started, but I never did for two reasons:

1) I didn’t want to offend anyone

2) It’s hard to put it into words

So considering that it’s impossible to never offend anyone (I promise I will try to do my best), and mentally I haven’t made any progress on how I should write this, I figured I would just sit down and crank this mamma-jamma out. Pretty much Seth is going to take the classic Calvin and Hobbes approach to life with this post.

First off, let’s just clear up a few things. One, I’m not the best parent. I think I try, but I know people that can parent circles around me. Take for instance the following example: Last night for dinner, I put my kids in bathing suits brought my kids out on the trampoline and gave them a “kids choice” dinner. This consisted of a cold hot dog and a miniature cupcake. Following dinner, I hooked up the sprinkler under the trampoline (with no safety net) and let them fight with pool noodles while bouncing. All this was happening while I was bleaching and scrubbing our family tent that a stray male cat apparently used is its personal urinal for the past few weeks due to my forgetting to close the outside storage closet properly. After cleaning the tent, I unhooked the sprinkler and gave everyone a backyard hose bath before sending them inside. :D #realife Soap Box Alert: Let kids are freaking kids. Growing up, our generation just played outside, did crazy stuff, and had fun. Parents weren’t insanely overprotective. They just told us how to be safe and gave us rules, and then sent us out to create fun. Hand making rope-swings from trees or just going off in the woods (filled with snakes, wasps, bobcats, etc.) was just part of being a kid. While I’m a big believer in overall safety and parental responsibility, it feels our society has made this giant push for “free range” animals, while simultaneously caging up our kids with a billion overprotective rules and unnecessary devices that tie down and limit their imagination, creativity, and need for exploring. Told you I was gonna Calvin and Hobbes this thang. Whatever comes out I’m just going to freaking type.  End of soapbox.

Ok, now that I have established my “non-pro parent status”, hopefully everyone can just take this for what it is, my own experience on both traditional and single parenting; nothing more or less. I understand there are probably 12,342,864,342 possible scenarios of co-parenting and single parenting. (Married/Un-married, full/partial custody, healthy relationship with other parent/unhealthy relationship, single and active co-parenting/Disney world dad and Mall shopping moms). Again this is my opinions as it pertains to me. 

For this post, I think I’m just going to stick with the idea of two people together as a couple/parent team vs doing a majority of the parenting alone. Whew!! I finally feel I can get started ;)

To be honest I feel like single parenting is one of those things that people can’t grasp until have experienced it yourself (like the loss of a loved one, divorce, being homeless, etc.). I used to have so much pity for my single parent friends. In my head, I constantly just felt sorry for them. Little did I know, my knowledge of their struggles were extremely out of touch. It was just drawn on snippets of stories they told, what I saw on tv, and my overall guess of what it must be like. Based on my experience as being a partner in a wonderful co-parenting team and my experience as a sole responsibility single parent, I can somewhat related to both groups. I have noticed that people that always belonged in one category sometimes have misconceptions of the other. Again, this is in no way a judgmental or “I know it all” stance, it’s just kind of how I feel about the subject based on the criteria I listed earlier.

Here are my two honest truths about Traditional vs Single Parenting:

1) The biggest and most draining element of Single Parenting is Loneliness/Isolation.

 I always thought the hardest part of single parenting would be finances, not getting “me” time, being overwhelmed, etc. I was wrong. In my opinion, it’s the isolation that’s the worst. Granted I work with amazing people and have amazing family and friends. Mostly though, I was gifted with the most amazing kids ever placed on this earth. Seriously, my kids literally shock me with how loving, creative, self-sacrificing, and hilarious they are. However, all of that that doesn’t fix on that loneliness issue. Granted, the biggest void in our lives can only be filled by God. That hole is filled in my heart, thank you Jesus! But I truly believed humans are wired to parent as a team; however, the roles and duties might differ as each partner from couple to couple. Not having that solid team mate can be soul crushing. As any parent can tell you, the responsibility of raising children can be mind boggling heavy at times. Doing it alone creates this unexplainable feeling of isolation. That feeling always hits me the worst at night, when all the kids are tucked in and asleep.  I feel like I’m a pilot flying a plane solo at night. There are no co-captains, no flight attendant, no air marshals, or crew… it’s just you. I think that’s my point, before I became one, I viewed the main struggle with single parenting as all of the turbulence that the plane is going through, but in reality, I feel the hardest part is being in that dark, tiny cockpit all alone. I can get through the storm, but not having co-pilot to help navigate, talk to, or simply scratch an itch on my back while my hands are tied to the controls makes life extremely bleak at times.

2) Traditional Parenting isn’t necessarily any less stressful –

Some people might not agree with this one, but I honestly (at select times) feel less stress now as a single parent than I did with my previous marriage was rock solid and the partnership was amazing. Here’s why I think that… A true partnership goes all in. They help, build up, support, encourage, and trust each other completely. So yes, when I was married I didn’t have to do crazy things like bringing a giant quilt into Toy-R-us while Christmas shopping to cover the cart and ensure that presents stay a surprise since the kids are with me all of the time. It’s great having a helpmate! Having someone be able to clean or read with the children while I cook dinner is an amazing feeling! My argument on this issue is that while having another parent brings so much support to the table, they also bring their own issues, problems, responsibilities, etc. But these issues are also yours. Remember, we were one. That means good and bad. So not only are you managing children, but trying maintaining a healthy marriage. There is a profound amount investment of time and energy that has to be poured into it. Sometimes with kids, that investment gets overlooked and becomes a challenge. Even the best marriages take constant upkeep, nourishment, time, and sacrifice. So juggling the responsibilities of being a spouse vs parent can be freaking tough.

Also, I feel that we are wired to have stress in our lives. One, it’s impossible to escape it. Two, healthy levels of stress keep our minds critically thinking, our bodies physically working, and also teaches us how to express feelings and emotions in a positive manner. Basically, I think we are wired to take on as much stress as we can handle. This is similar to the idea “The more money you have, the more you spend and the less money you have, the less you spend”. When I was married, we had more resources (finances, free time, and a larger support network).  So naturally as I think we did what we are wired to do. We maximized our resources doing various things, bought unneeded items, took on extra responsibilities, volunteering, etc. I believe I also had different standards on the importance of certain things in my life. So I was running about an 80% stress level based on what I could handle.  Once I got divorced and became a single parent, I lost a lot of those resources. So naturally I made adjustments.  I began to limit and remove unnecessary stressors. I also re-evaluated my standards. By accepting realistic expectations for myself and cutting out extra responsibilities I did not have the time/mental capacity to handle, life began to balance out again. Even though I have more on my plate as an individual, I can still operate on an 80% stress level due to being freed up in other areas.

So in conclusion, by far, I preferred parenting with a partner. If all of the kids are screaming in the van, instead of being solo and getting frustrated, I could look over and see some equally wide eyed  and about to crack. Those always made me laugh and lightened my mood. But in reality, God is good. There are things I have been able to experience and bonds with my children I could have never established in a two parent situation. So be encouraged. Don’t always assume that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Sometimes the poop left behind by the other animal fertilizes the ground, which can grow some greener, better quality grass than before. Although… just remember that at first you’ll still have to deal with the smell of that crap they've left behind until it’s decayed. 

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth

Megow Vacations - Then/Now

I’ve had the blessing of enjoying life in several ways. Happily married with no kids. Happily married with kids, and now happily a single dad. With it being summer and time for family vacations, I wanted to kinda dissect the different ways I’ve approached family getaways over the years :)

Hahaha. You can tell that I've gotten much more laid back as in my most current stage.

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Planning the trip 

No kids: Let’s go somewhere beautiful that we can sightsee. Or somewhere with a lot of hidden trails for hiking! For sure, we need an awesome tucked away beach that no one knows about.

Married with kids: Ok. Let’s try to find somewhere that has a lot of activities and neat stores we can take the kids to! Maybe we can take them to swim with dolphins or go to Disneyworld?!

Single dad: Well considering I have about $400 bucks to make this trip happen, I just need to find somewhere remotely close to a public beach with free continental breakfast and a pool….

*Reading reviews of motels that fit that criteria*

- “This place is a nightmare. Room was messy and staff inattentive.”

*Ehhh.. Not looking good… continues to scroll*

- “Grungy looking towels.”

*Crap. I dunno about this place. I’ll read one more review*

- “I got stabbed in the parking lot, but continental breakfast features a waffle making station.”

*A waffle maker!?! Books room* 

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Packing 

No kids: “Let’s take some nice outfits so we can go to some fancy dinners while we are out.” “Also, let's bring some fun stuff to wear for at night since we can stay in bed as long as we like!"

Married with kids: “Hmmm…. I have two suitcases full of clothes, one full of crafts for the condo,

Single dad: *Assembles children the day before departing for the trip*

Me: “Guys. Wanna pack your own bags for vacation this year?!?”

Children: “Yes!!”

Me: “Remember, pack the stuff you’ll need for an entire week.”

*Checks bags the morning of the trip to find a box of crayons, 48 Littlest Pet Shop toys, a “how to do magic tricks” book, 4 fidget spinners, a tooth one of them lost last week, 17 bathing suits, and shells they bought back from the beach last year.*

Me: “Ehhhh… Close enough. Grab your toothbrush before we jump in the van to leave.”

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The car trip there

Before kids: “Isn’t it nice to take cute backroads and highways? Oooohhhh, look at that sign! A little local antique store that sells fresh boiled peanuts is only 20 miles off route… let’s go!”

Married with kids: *to spouse* “I’m so glad you loaded up the bags and mapped out the fastest route. I gave me time to make fun, little on-the-road bags.” and “Remember if anyone gets car sick, I’ll take over driving so you can sit in the back with a bucket and cold towel.”

Single dad: “AAHHH!! I know you are getting car sick! I can’t stop in the middle of the interstate. Here just throw up in the sand bucket we bought for the beach.” and “No we aren’t stopping for food, I don’t you guys to eat BEFORE we left. We only have like about 90 minutes left on the road… just eat some of those goldfish crackers you split in your cup holder last week.”

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On the beach 

No kids: “Let’s go play in the ocean for a few hours and then we can come relax in our beach chairs under our nice cool umbrella. *Deep sigh* How relaxing…”

Married with kids: *to wife* “I’m about to haul all of this stuff from the car to the beach. Pick out a nice spot!” and “Let’s alternate between one of us sitting in the sand with the younger kids and one of us out in the water with the older ones.”

Single dad: “AAAHHHH!! Don’t run out there! My hands are ful…. *drops everything* and sprints down the beach and into the ocean to grab the Olive (“almost swimmer”) from diving into the surf. *walks back to inspect dropped stuff* “Well, I hope you guys want all of our beach snacks covered and sand. Also, I think that’s our giant beach ball like 200 yards down the beach, wait it’s about to hit the lady in the face… crap! Ok no one in the water. Cmon! We gotta run half a mile down the beach to apologize to her… Well, I know you want to play in the water, but we have to apologize to that lady so let’s all go because I can’t leave you by yourself… There’s four of you and one of me. I can’t just leave you here… Wait! Where’s Neela!... Ahhh!!! That’s not our food basket sweetheart! Oh. My. Gosh. How much of those people's food did you eat?!? Ok, let’s find whoever this basket belongs to and pay them back for their food… One second Stevie… I’m looking for these people… One second PLEASE!!... ugh what is it?!?.. Titus is where?!... ”

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Nighttime 

No kids: “Let’s go out and see some local bands play! And then let’s go for a night walk on the beach!”

Married with kids: “How about we get the kids down and then we grab some wine and jump into the hot tub on the back patio?”

Single dad: “Well. They are asleep. Maybe I’ll read my book I brou… *falls asleep*

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Vacation Family Picture 

No kids: “Let’s get someone to take our picture at sunset on the beach.”

Married with kids: “Well let’s get a good picture so we can share it with family. Let’s do it later in the week so we all have some sun and aren’t super pale. Also, let’s do it later in the evening so we can go to the beach in the morning. That way the kids won’t get their matching cuffed up jeans and white shirts wet from the ocean because they will have already gotten their swimming kick in for the day.

Single dad:“Just wear whatever you want… Oh you wanna hold that dead hermit crab you found on the beach?... I mean whatever. I don’t care as long as you smile.”

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Headed Home

No kids: “That was a nice trip but I’m ready to get back to home. I miss the dogs.”

Married with kids: *to wife* “That was fun, but we need a vacation from this vacation. The kids are burnt out and I’m exhausted.”

Single dad: “Sorry guys, it’s the last day… No we can’t stay longer, we have to turn in the key this morning… I wish we could stay too... Well… actually we did bring the tent… State park here we come!”

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth

You wanna marry my dad?

I've talked about this on my facebook before, but never really in depth. It's probably one of the sweetest things my kids do (and one of the most embarrassing). Last Christmas, my kids decided the best gift they could get me would be to find me a wife. Hahahaha. Clearly, they think I'm not capable enough for this task and need their assistance. Neela typically leads the charge, but the others are quick to give their advice/opinion on the matter. About 70% of the adult women we see in public get asked the question "Do you want marry my dad?"

Now keep in mind a large majority of these people are complete strangers. My kids literally have no shame. At first, this was jawdroppingly embarrassing. I mean, I would just stand & stare at my children making me look at a complete idiot. Also, earlier when I said the phrase "adult women", I was using that term loosely. "Adult" to my kids means anyone over the age of around 15. I literally cannot express to you the horror I have felt at certain times. Picture this: We are in the grocery store and we see a 6'5 man in full military attire (complete with mustache) walking with his high school freshman age daughter. Neela walks right up to the barely teenage girl and starts talking. I see this happening and immediately toss the frozen pizza I'm grabbing out of the freezer section across the isle while sprinting to break up this conversation. I don't make it. This is what I run up to...

Neela: "You're so pretty. My dad is handsome. I bet he would think you are so pretty. Hey! I got a great idea. You two should marry!! *turns around to me see right behind her and out of breathe from sprinting across the store* Great!!! Here he is!... Dad. Isn't she so pretty!?! I bet you are in looooove now..." 

As the blood drains from my head is shock and embarrassment, I notice the dad's knuckles turning about as white as my face. I try to laugh it off and yank Neela away from the situation. Of course, we literally are on one of those "isle twins" routines. Every time, we go down an isle who do we see rounding the corner. Grabbing fruit loops... isle twin. Looking a bag of flour... isle twin. Grabbing some chewing gum...isle twin. It was so bad. Finally, me and the kids just grabbed some fruit snacks and ate them in the toy section, so I wouldn't be stuck behind them in the checkout line. Later, we had a big talk about "age appropriateness". hahaha.

However, normally I don't mind too much. They ask college girls at work, women at restaurants, moms at the park, and even senior citizens who live at my grandma's retirement home. (Fun fact: Occasionally, some women smile at the kids and say "Sure!". However, at the nursing home, I tend to rack up with the potential spouse candidates ;)  Actually, one time one of the teachers at school told me that Neela had already given out "wedding jobs" to all of the elementary teachers (flower girl, priest, picture taker, dog sitter..."

Now to be honest, when they first started doing this, I was a little worried they were trying to fill some "mom void" in their own lives. I got nervous that I wasn't doing a great job of being both mom and dad. However, over months of conversations with them I've learned that they just really want me be happy. Although, I constantly tell them that I really enjoy spending my time with them, they just think I should have a partner. They might want me to find someone more than I do actually.

Tangent Alert: 

Pardon my rabbit trail.

This is just my opinion, but I think some people rush through the single parenting experience at times. In all honesty it's so much work and can be emotionally/physically draining, but once you get over the hump; get in the groove, it's just the most interesting life experience. Not only does it give you an amazing chance to bond with your kids, but it forces you to grow out of your comfort zone as a human. I've always been fun, carefree, and a little weird. So naturally when I became a dad I encouraged that in my children. However, over the past few years I've noticed flaws in my parenting and personal life due to the fact that I'm playing both parenting roles. I always like to compare it to the movie "Big Daddy". My kids were pretty much named Frankenstein, acting crazy, and dressed like this for school. In time, I learned how balancing social norms and actual etiquette along with the fun/crazy is ultra beneficial.

"Sure, you can wear a pot on your hear and paint the toilet with fingernail polish."

Also, there's just such a strong sense of value I've been able to pass along to my kids being a single parent. They know they are the most important to me. There's no competition between a woman. There's no questioning that I value my relationship and time with them above everything else. With them going through their abandonment issues, this has been such a major part of their healing.

End of Tangent ;)

So besides them asking women to marry me, they also like to give me tips on how to meet/impress women. Here are some of my favorite pearls of wisdom I've received from my children on how to impress the opposite sex.

- "Whenever you go in public, you should take off your shirt. Grown up women like a hairy man. And boy. you hairy."

- "Just do this whenever you see a pretty girl..."

 

- "Dad! That girl is pretty. You should talk to her... Don't act weird like you normally do."

- "Take us to the ice cream store. Girls are always in good mood when they eat ice cream."

- "About taking off your shirt, you need to lose a few pounds in your belly before you do that actually."

- "I bet you would be more handsome without your glasses.... Take them off...  Nope.... Put them back on."

- "Dad. I bet there will be pretty girls there tonight. You should wear your tight pants!"


Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,
Seth

Top 10 List - Last Week of School Parent Activities

10) Make sure the snooze button works on your morning alarm because you’ve saved up enough extra tardy chances for your kids to be late every day this week and still avoid the truancy officer call

9) Duct tape the straps on their book bag and cringingly reassure them "you only have to use this for a FEW more days!" 

8) Carelessly watching your kid pack their own snack for school that consists of them digging through the lucky charms box to dig out all of the marshmallows and combining them into a zip-lock bag already filled with pizza flavored goldfish

7) Getting ultra pumped for all of the end of year artwork coming home soon!! (For real, this is seriously like Christmas!!)

6) Trying to rent a movie for Friday night that they haven’t already watched that week in one of their 4 different end of year school parties

5) Digging out a pen in the car from under the driver’s seat while waiting in the school drop-off line to sign all of the end of year activity release forms that you completely forgot about until you see the giant blow-up bounce houses outside of the classrooms

4) Being extra nice to school administrators to make up for all of the school fundraiser papers that mysteriously found themselves at the bottom of the pile of junk mail on the kitchen counter

3) Having to re-download the classroom notification app to your phone because your child deleted it to make storage room to record twelve solid minutes of her sister doing cannonballs in the pool the previous weekend

2) Thinking to yourself that your kids’ outfits look pretty good until you see them walking with all of the other kids, but realize it’s too late to change them and too late in the school year to care.

1) Thank Thank Thank the teachers!!!! Remind them they only have a few more days of enduring things like having to listen to your child’s only knock-knock joke for the 43^rd time.

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth

Why I Love Being a Single Dad

Divorce/Separation is the worst. Not being able to be around your kids all of the time is heart wrenchingly painful. However, in this post, I’m not going to (try to not) focus as much on the negatives of single parenting, but highlight the parts of being a single dad that I love. However, remember that my kids are with my 24/7 so my situation is a bit different than others.

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I feel so extremely blessed with my life. I get to be around my kids all of the time. People are constantly asking me if I need a break or would I enjoy having them away from me on the weekends. I guess that would be nice on occasion, like 2 nights a month. But in all honesty, I freaking love being around my kids. It’s why I love being a single dad. I get to be with them all the time. Let me break down why I love it.

"It's gonna be a great post, today!" 

First off, This may sounds strange upon first reading but I'm ultra grateful that I'm a single dad and not a single mom because*soapbox alert* I talk about this a lot, but single dads seriously do have it WAY easier than single moms. Is that fair or right? Absolutely not. It’s simply the world we live in. I couldn’t imagine being a single mom in this day and age. For me as a full time single dad, I feel like people view me and the kids as a fun commodity to look at or observe. Hahaha. While unfortunately full time single moms are just accepted in our culture as a “normal thing”. For example, when I show up somewhere and my kids are looking semi-feral and in mismatched clothes, I can feel other parents go “Awe… look he’s trying his best. Those kids are so cute. Look at their little mismatched clothes” I’m not in this for sympathy, I’m just trying my best. However, I feel like if a single mom showed up to the exact same event with kids looking the exact same manner, some people might think “Look at those kids. She really needs to take better care of them.” It’s the exact situation, I just feel as a parent (especially of younger children), women are held to such an insanely high standard in our society. So all this being said, single moms are my freaking heroes. Both single dads and single moms are just trying their best, but moms just have so much more parenting pressure. They are still responsible for balancing money, cleaning, etc. (just like single dads), but when it comes to pressures to have perfectly groomed, dressed well-behaved, polite, and involved children, they get judged so much more harshly than men. So in response to this. Single moms are doing both roles (mom and dad) just like single dads. Pouring into both roles can be exhausting. I mean freaking Geez-Louise, our society is going to have to cut them some slack somewhere.  *end of soapbox*

Next, being a dad is fun. It’s not just blanket forts and burping contests with the kids, but if a dad is doing it right, those are both important elements of successful fathering ;) hahaha.

  

Seriously, having the kids with me is the funnest thing ever. I get to learn so much about them. All their individual little quirks, strengths, desires, annoyances, everything!! It's like being fully submersed in their lives and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I mean seriously is it possible to find a group of cooler kids than these!!!

This was on a day they came to work with me. For important it was a "dress yourself" day :D

Being a dad also comes with big responsibilities. Generally, in a co-parent home, I believe these tend to come from two places: 1) Listening to mom about where the kids are emotionally, physically, etc. Moms are just generally so much more empathetic and involved day to day (again, especially with young kids). They are the experts in my opinion, no doubt. Basically, trusting her enough as far as parenting to know what’s best.  2) Decisions of more of a big picture type. Not that I think women are and should be any less involved in decision making at all, I just mean I think a man should protect, guide, and most take responsibility for his family. So that means the buck stops with him. So mostly, it’s just a responsibility thing. Ok. I kind of got off track. My point is that being a single dad means I need to encompass both of these roles. Kids need firm boundaries but also room to explore. A sense of whimsy and wonder but also a steady and reliable parent. Kids need fun and unexpected nonsense, but also routines and schedules. Since it’s just me doing all of this, it was crazy uncomfortable and awkward at first. I felt like a piece of hard clay being squeezed through a playdoh spaghetti maker. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t fit the mold of both me and Crissy combined. In my head, I needed to be this for my kids. By our late twenties, we are generally pretty set in who we are and why we do the things we do. Thankfully, my life took a crazy, turn by giving me a few horrific years and dumping a crazy amount of responsibility solely in my lap. However, I soon learned what a blessing I was given. I didn’t need to be “Seth and Crissy” to my kids. I just needed to be “Seth” and the best version of me ever. God radically altered my life. My personality changed, my empathy level increased, my positivity went up, my stress level went down, my general outlook on life improved. It’s all because I was given the job title of “Single Dad”. That’s my second reason I love it so much, it formed me into the person I’ve always wanted to be, but was too stubborn and set in my ways to let that happen. Being in a single father position I was forced to let God stretch and kneed me, so I could be pliable and fit whatever mold I needed to be in, whatever the stage of life I might find myself.

Finally, I know this sounds selfish, but I love the freedom it provides. If my kids want to wear something weird to school or bring a (rescued from the highway) turtle to the store in a cardboard box while we shop, well… I love being able to say “yes” without having to run it by another adult.

"People are going to LOVE this turtle."

Since I’m around them all the time, I can kind of encourage whatever special traits I see in them. It’s no debating on whether Stevie should take dance classes or art lessons. I just make my choice, and we do it. Mostly, I can raise them as weird as I want. I love weirdness. I absolutely adore it. Normalcy is so boring to me. I love having free reign over the amount of weirdness allowed in my house. I know kids have to learn to function in society, but they are kids only once. If they want to go play with ketchup in the tub, well I don’t really care. Pretty much, I encourage any kind of strange idea they have. They want to invent slime to help their hair grow faster? Sure. They want to eat a cricket? Sure. Want dad to act super fun at someone's house and let people paint his face? Sure. 

 

Instead of limiting and banning specific activities/things, my kids just know a few basic rules: 1) Be kind 2) Don’t hurt yourself or anyone else 3) Don’t make too big of a mess 4) Clean up after said mess 5) Eat vegetables every day 6) Respect yours and other people’s bodies and feelings 7) If you barf, do it anywhere but the carpet or bed.   That’s pretty much it. If what you want to do, meets those criteria, go for it! For instance, at Stevie’s 8^th birthday party, it was raining so instead of cancelling the piñata. I had the idea for an indoor piñata. Based on the faces of every mom in attendance, I’m sure if I were married, I would have gotten the “don’t even think about it” look. Fortunately for me and the kids, I’m not, so I can do things my way. So you can bet your butt we had an indoor piñata, and that junk was hysterical and fun.

To quote a mom that was in attendance:

"It was risky to fairly safe" 

Hahaha!!

I mean in reality, it’s ultra tough at times. Another helping hand and encourager would be nice, but I’m just so in love with my life currently that God is going to have to knock me on my butt with a woman that I feel just clicks. Right now though, I can’t think of a single thing better than taking my kids to the park, just them and me. Receiving 100% of their corny jokes, hilarious stories, heart talks, and hugs. It just can’t be beat.

I wanted to end this post with one of my favorite little “Megowisms”, but I couldn’t decide between two. That means I will just post them both. Aaaahhhhh… personal freedom. :D

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth

"My Origin Story" - My marriage

Note: I just finished writing this thing. 

There's no way I'm proofing it #toolazytoproof. 

So please just ignore any grammar mistakes :D

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I think I take it for granted that people just kind of know all about the kids and my life now. I mean, I kinda just type whatever the heck is on my brain for the world to read… you’re welcome world. Hahaha. I just kinda figure everyone pretty knows all about us. But then I started thinking, I don’t think I’ve ever really dove into my married life. It was about an entire third of my existence, but I just don’t mention it much here. I’ve talked a little here and there, but nothing major. I have talked about divorce a few times. Mostly, I think that’s because I’m worried my family and friends will think I’m still heartbroken over Crissy. I’m not. Or still in love with her. Again, I’m not. Or hoping that we will ever get back together in the future. Again, again. I’m not. However, I would like to talk about my life and story about us getting while we were together. Not because I miss it or anything. The way I like to describe how I feel about my marriage now like a can of diet soda. At first sip and while you’re drinking it, the taste is refreshing and nice; however, the aftertaste is just disgusting. (Sorry diet soda fans). I mean, it was nice but after experiencing that aftertaste I don’t want another sip. I think it's easy for me to disassociate with my memories of that relationship, because the aftertaste (bad years) was just so gross. However most of those years (which were mostly awesome) played a significant part of my story. Not only during the marriage, but after as well. Most of my adult life was spend with Crissy by my side but I don’t believe many of you know about those years. So I think it’s time to bite the bullet and just start from the beginning. Hopefully as I go along you’ll kind of see my intentions of this post. My goal is for this to be kind of like an Origin Story of the person I am today. J Also, I figured I might as well type this up because I’m starting to forget more and more of this part of my life (not complaining), and one day the kids might ask about me and their mom together, so I can refer to this post as a refresher. I will try to keep it as short as possible, but it might be lengthy. Just FYI.

Crissy and I met a few times before we actually really “met”. We went to high school together. She was a pretty, popular girl. After high school, she started working at Applebee’s where I was already working. So I trained her. We got along well at work, but that was really about it. Finally, one day one of our mutual friends wanted to throw a surprise party for his girlfriend (who was also a mutual friend). So pretty much, he was just “I’m going to distract her today. You two just plan a party by tonight and I will bring her over to be surprised.” Hahaha. So there we were, just two new friends driving around town in my first car.

Anyways after that day we just started hanging out the time. Just friends that eventually evolved into best friends. We are pretty much inseparable. Neither of us had romantic feelings, just best buddies. Well, that kind of changed a few months later, when we took “The Road Trip”. Those few days were some of the craziest in my life. Seriously, I need to post about it soon. I think everyone would really enjoy it. But until then, I’ll give an ultra-brief summary. Our friends, Reed and April, Crissy, and I went on a road trip to the beach one summer. We all just kinda piled in the bus and went. On that trip, it kinda of just hit me. I was in love with her. It was a super strange and nerve wracking feeling. I didn’t say anything on the trip or for a while after. Finally, one day I just told her. She said she didn’t feel the same. I remember lying in bed that night being so heartbroken. Getting your heart crushed at 18 was no fun. L So the next morning, I drove out to her parents’ house to talk to her. She really didn’t want to hear what I had to say on the matter, but I was persistent. I laid it flat out on the table. “Crissy, what chance do I have of us ever getting together?” Her response, “I promise you that you have absolutely zero chance ever. That’s not going to happen.” I appreciated her honesty. I knew it was tough for her too. No one likes to lose a best friend. So I slowly trudged to my bus, got in, cried, and drove home. We kinda of quit talking or seeing each other after that. It was literally us hanging out together 24/7 for months and months to zero communication. It was hard on me, but I got through it.

A few months pass…

I was at work and my manager came and told me I had a phone call. (This is back in day before everyone had cell phones. Don’t you miss those days? :D ) It was Crissy. I was stunned. She asked if I wanted to come over after work. Of course, I said yes! So I went over there and she explained how no one treated the way I did and she missed me. I was happy. Suddenly, we were back on track spending all of our time together. Then one night while we were helping a friend move (Crissy showed up in overalls, a trucker hat, and a painted on beard to look like a “mover” hahaha), she kissed me. I’ll be completely honest. I was stunned. She kept kissing me, and I think my brain and body must have not been able to handle it, because I immediately went to the bathroom and puked! HAHAHAHA. I felt sick the entire next day. It was just a super intense rush of feelings and emotions. She kinda just hung out with me on my parents couch. We both laughed about how I got so excited from kissing her that I puked and had to just lay down for a day and soak all of this in.

So later that afternoon, we went back to our friends new house to help her unpack and move her stuff into her new place. It was very late before we finished. I remember the date. It was July 2, 2004. It was about 2am, and our friend moved by VSU so we decided to just go for a walk around campus. I could tell we both just “knew”. So during the walk I leaned down, picked a wild flower, and asked her to marry me. She said “Yes. Of course.” And that was that. J

We suddenly tried to think of how to explain this to our parents. She was 19; I was 18. How were we supposed to tell them that we were engaged?!? Also, I still needed to officially ask her dad’s permission. So we came up with this secret plan… We told both of our parents we were just dating, so they wouldn’t think we were crazy. Then after a few months, I asked her dad to marry her. He said “Nope.” HAHAHA. I remember sitting there in side by side arm chairs for about an hour trying to convince him to let me marry her. I literally drew little charts explaining how Crissy’s GPA and work performance had improved with us “dating”. Finally, he looked at me super serious and said “Fine, but she’d better not be holding a baby until after she’s walked across that college graduation stage.”

Yay!! I was delighted. This was October 2004. We immediately started planning this wedding. I rented an apartment to have a place for us to rent. That place was a literal dump, but it was all I could afford. It had six foot ceilings, and I’m 6’2. It was pretty much just a tiny, TINY one bedroom apartment. However, it was ultra-cheap and right across the street from the college. This was awesome because we were both in school full time. The day I moved out, my dad took me to the side and made me promise him one thing. He said, “Promise me, that you will both never sleep in that apartment, until you two are married.” I agreed and so thankful for that advice. My dad is such a wise man. However, we were taking all of our classes together and working all of our jobs together. So driving her 25 miles home every night in my bus (that had a top speed of about 40 mph) was just getting kind of old. We both decided we needed to bump the wedding day up. We sat down with her parents and said “Ok. We are moving the wedding date.” Her mom’s response, “THANK GOD!! You two need to be engaged for at least a year.” We both kinda looked at each other and laughingly cringed, replying “No, we are bumping it UP. We are getting married in January 2005.” Hahahaha.

So January came. We were both so excited for the big day. Our wedding was super fun and original I like to believe. It was a 1960’s theme wedding. On the invitations, we encouraged people to dress up if they wanted to. In the foyer of the church, we had face painting, hair wraps, love beads, and a station to leave your shoes so people could go barefoot into the wedding ceremony if they wanted. Crissy and I did everything pretty much from scratch. We tie-dyed sheets to hang in the church. Our friend helped us make the flower arrangements. It was just a fun event. Our friends dressed as pirates and were the door greeters. The ring bearers were some of our friends dressed in full costume as Scooby Doo and the Pink Power Ranger. That was just a really fun day. J

There we were two 19 year old married kids taking all of our college classes and working all of our jobs together (We typically kept about 2-3 jobs while in school to avoid loans and be financially independent.) We spend our free time volunteering around town together.  It was some of the best years of my life. Crissy and I were inseparable. Most of our friends called us “Criss and Sethy”. Those super broke younger married days are the ones I always think of first. We were just living on love, and man we were in love.

Finally, when we were college seniors Crissy accidentally ended up pregnant; however, I did keep my promise to her dad. She did not walk across that stage holding a baby. She just walked across it 8 months pregnant. Hahahaha!! I was so excited to become a “daddy”. I always wanted to have kids. In March 2008, we welcomed our little Stevie Joy into the world. We kept her a surprise, but I was convinced she was a boy that we were going to name “Titus”. Crissy got a full time job working for Babies Can’t Wait. We built a house. I decided to go back for my masters. It was a time of big changes, but Crissy and I were tighter than ever. I remember once, I went out of town for a few days, and she called me every day of that trip crying. Not because she was stressed about having a baby by herself, but because she just wanted me to be there with them.

You can identify the child by my glasses frames :)

Months pass. We sell our house, and I graduate with my Masters. Soon we find out that Stevie is going to have a little sister. So in July of 2009, Neela Grace was brought into the world. I start looking for a job as a K-12 Library Media Specialist, but couldn’t find any for a long time. I remember becoming pretty depressed during this time. I just remember a thinking that a man needed to provide. The best I could get was a part time job at a local private school. The pay was hardly anything, but at least it was some actual experience. My spirits were really low. One specific thing that always comes to mind during this time frame was Crissy coming to sit in my lap, picking up my head, looking me dead in the eyes and saying “Seth. I love you more than you understand. I’m proud of you. Don’t stress over this job. Let’s just love each other, love people, and love Jesus.” It was such a tender moment that I felt truly so blessed to have her in my life.

Eventually, I get a job at Wiregrass GA Technical College (formerly Valdosta Technical College). The pay was minimal, but at the time I WANTED that job. I would have a REAL job. They called me into do three different interviews. I didn’t hear anything for a while after that, so I started to become depressed again, until I got the call!! I got the job, and we were officially rich! Hahaha. Soon after, I finally got my “Titus”. We moved into a little house that was formerly her granddads. Besides the crappy apartment, 603 E. Stanfill Street holds the fondest memories. We were just this little family that was completely in love with each other. I can’t really express how close we were then. We led a marriage group a church and were constantly asked for marriage advice from people. I just remember playing in our backyard and my heart feeling so full.

After about two years, we move out of our Hahira house and into my parents’ old house to help take care of my grandmother. They moved to Alabama but my Mimi lived in a mother-in-law suite attached to their house. This was also a fun time in our married life. We were just a family living on the farm and now expecting our last child, Olive!! The kids loved living there. To be honest, so did I. Then our life changed again when I was offered my current job at Valdosta State University. The pay was significantly much more which was exciting. So exciting in fact, that we decided to buy a second home from her dad. (He is a contractor and sold us both of our houses for very cheap. Her parents are such blessings still to this day.)

There we were. We finally made it to official adulthood. Both with good paying professional jobs, a little stair step patch of kids, and a brand new super nice house. I know what really happened next, but we kind of became a little more distant. I was working more and she was busy with her job (she worked two days a week) and being a mommy. We were still very close and happily married, but I think we could both feel something was off.

Time passed and she started going out with friends more and more at night, while I stayed home with the kids. This led to arguments, which resulted in marital conflict. We never had this happen before. I mean, we fought from time to time, but never like this. She started drifting off more and more frequently. Meanwhile, I was becoming more and more bitter about my wife leaving me all the time to be with her friends. We both made mistakes during this time. Not pointing any blame. There are always two sides to every story, but finally it came to the point that I was with the kids alone pretty much all of the time besides when I was working. That was a tough time for me. She started hinting for a divorce, but I always said that I would never ever agree to that. We loved each other and needed to build our marriage back up. The situation grows progressively worse. Days, weeks, months pass. By now I’m doing the kids solo and Crissy has moved out. No one knows anything. I keep up a social media appearance that we are still a happy couple. When we happen to see each other, things usually erupt. I’m just so broken and hurt that my best friend just left me. This is only escalated by the fact that I’m pretty much I total train wreck raising four kids on my own. Still, I hold on to the hope that this marriage would be healed. I’m constantly talking privately with a small group friends and counselors trying to work out my brokenness.

Then, one day I just feel this sudden peace. That was God btw. We stopped fighting. He molded me from an “interrogator” into an “encourager”.  I was positive that I would be able to keep things together and protect her reputation so it was be a seamless transition into our happy harmony again. I was beginning to get the hang of being a single working dad/full time parent of four. Every single night, I would sit for hours and pray for her, our marriage, and our kids. However, it seemed the more healing I found, the further Crissy drifted away from the kids and me. We hardly saw her. Still I had peace and was able to show that peace to the kids. Remember, Crissy used to be the most legit mom ever. Having her fade away from their lives was almost too much too watch. However like I said, me and “my crew” as I started to call them found peace in midst of the storm. I learned little techniques to help them cope with everything that was going on. Soon, it was like she was kinda just gone completely, but we were still married.  

Although I felt peace, it was still heart breaking. More and more people began to call me with “Crissy stories” and questions about what was going on. My fear of divorce slowly faded into an actual thought “what if it happened?” I began to pray more and more about this. Not trying to spread gossip, but Biblically speaking I had firm ground to stand on in the case of divorce.  Then my worry was “What if I lose the kids.” Honestly, how many dads of four with full time jobs get custody? So I started praying. I felt God telling me to fast (not eat) for two days and truly put my whole heart into praying and listening for an answer. Then driving home from work (I remember the time of day and the exact spot of the road I was driving), I felt God tell me “You’ve done well”. I knew it was time to file. The process was so nerve-wracking. I lost so much weight from just being so overwhelmed that I literally never had an appetite. Those months were the most anxious times in my life. I was constantly worried that Crissy would get the kids. However in the end, she agreed that I should have primary custody and she would get every other weekend visitations. Praise God!! The kids and I had become so unbelievably tight throughout the past few years of walking through this together that I couldn’t imagine not having them with me. It was an answer to prayer. I was and still am elated with the outcome.

I just keep on keeping on. Just “living the dream” (my go to response for questions about life). Life became such a fun thing. I was living this incredibly unique gift of a life that was filled with the craziest stories of the most awesome kids in the entire world. Every day seemed to be an adventure. However, I did feel sad at times that I didn’t have anyone to share all of these crazy stories and silly experiences with.  Then one night, I thought to myself “You know what? I’m not just going to sit around and wait for a wife to share this stuff. I’m gonna stuff putting this stuff online. If nothing else, it will be a fun way to remember things for when the kids grow up.” That was the beginning of the blog you are reading now. Yay! Fun, right ;)

So yeah, that’s my Origin Story. I love the person I am. I love my kids. I love the life I have. I love the God I serve.

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth

The Megows: A-Z

A - Awesomest Kids on the Planet

It's no secret that I think my kids are legit the coolest humans on the planet, but I wanted to talk about this more in depth. It's hard to put into words how awesome they are because sometimes they literally leave me speechless. hahahaha. For example, tonight after dinner I walked into the kitchen to find Titus and Olive sitting on the floor, randomly wearing swimsuits and googles, and both chugging ice water out of sand bucket pails. Meanwhile, Neela was laying on the couch with her bearded dragon on her chest watching How to Train Your Dragon because "she needs to learn more about her own kind". Finally, Stevie was sitting in her room drawing little pictures to give our friends at school and singing "Strawberry Fields Forever" quietly to herself.

They are just all so unique and full of life. I love how they randomly pair up sometimes and at other instances, they sit by themselves to dive into something that interests them. They are the most kind, helpful, hilarious, cheerful, and loving humans that I have ever met. I freaking love those four little people :)

B - Birthdays

With four kids, there's always a birthday around the corner. And that's pretty ok with me. We love us some birthdays. From the planning to the actual event, there's just so much to enjoy. I love putting in time to make them feel special. As my kids get older, they are all chipping it in help with each others' parties as well. It melts my heart to see them get genuinely excited about making their siblings feel special. It's hard to do big things for just one kid with the way our family is setup, but birthdays are the perfect opportunity for that. I've written some posts about all of our past birthday parties. You can read about them here! 

C - Cats

 

Because... Duh. Cats

D -Dirty kids

I love when my kids come in muddy and their clothes are just so filthy from exploring, playing, and experimenting. This is a good thing since they seem to stay coated in an exoskeleton of dirt.

E - Excitable

Seth: "Hey guys. Do you want me to hook up the sprinkler and fill up th..."
Kids *before I can finish*: "AAAAHHHH  YYEESSS!!" (as they sprint to the backyard stripping off their clothes)

F - Frog Hunts

Maybe we've just got frog huntin' on our brains because the season to catch our favorite amphibians is approaching fast. If you visit our house on a steaming hot South GA summer night, there's a high likely hood that you'll catch us in the ditch.

"Prepping for a hunt"

"One of our frogs.

Dont worry we catch and release :) "

G - Good Lookin'

Not trying to brag but Geez Louise do I have some good looking youngins.

H - How did you make someone smile today?

This one might be my favorite. For a few years now, we go around the dinner table and we each have to say "How did you make someone smile today?" It's just one of those little things I love about my family so much.


I - It's gonna be a great day

Our family song. I made it up one morning a few years ago. It's now just become a normal part of our mornings :)

J - Jokes

All of us love to tell a good joke. Olive will tell you an endless amount of nonsense Knock Knock Joke, while Stevie might go with her staple "Why can't you get Elsa a balloon?" - "Because she will let it go." :D I prefer to embrace my role as a father by annoying everyone around me with classic dad jokes.

K - Kids

I love kids. They are so much cooler than adults. We have sleepovers and friends over quite frequently. In my opinion, once you are quadruple outnumbered, who's even counting anymore :)

L - Lunch trays

School lunch trays are served about every night at dinner. It helps me remember to fill each slot with healthy foods. Plus, aren't they just so fun! :D

M - Mr Rogers

Duh. M would be Mr. Rogers. If you follow my instagram or facebook, I'm constantly sharing Mr. Rogers quotes. He's my personal hero. I simply loved his view on life. I've even wrote a post specifically about why I love him so much.

N - Nature

Yay for outside, bugs, hiking, rainstorms, camping, critters, mud, climbing trees, exploring, flowers, clouds, and adventures!!

O - Odor

I'm not gonna lie. My kids can do activities and have fun that produce smells that are undescribable. Just imagine "little kid after playing outside for a few hours" mixed with farts and hummus breathe. I love these kids, but wow. Two words: Bath Time ;)

P - Parks

My crew are park connoisseurs. We know about every park within 20 miles. I mean why wouldn't we? It's free fun, and I hate the idea of getting into a rut of activities... For instance going to the same park over and over and over and doing the same things time and time again. I like that my kids love to switch it up. However, they each have their own favorites.

Q - Quiet Time

Wait... What's quiet time?

R - Rambunctious

This Megow characteristic is why I never get the "Quiet Time" previously mentioned... :)

Hahaha. Side note: My kids love Frozen Yogurt.

S - Single parenting

Yup. Just me and my kiddos. They are why I smile. They are my drive to succeed. They are the reason I'm happy to lose sleep. They are the joy in my heart.

T - Talented

Whether it's art, magic tricks, talking to "aminals", or fashion. Each of them shines in their own special talents.

My gorgeous little artist lost in thought...  

U - Untidy

Megows are a naturally untidy people. My office desk is a wreck and our house is usually not much better. HOWEVER!! Me and the kids have been trying ultra hard lately to turn this around!! I must say I'm pretty proud of the progress we have made. :)

The Patented Megow Mopping Method

V - VSU 

My job... Valdosta State University. My co-workers have pretty much adopted my kids as part of our team up there. I can't say it enough how grateful I am for my job, bosses, and co-workers.

My kids are PROFESSIONALS at sitting quietly and ultra well behaved at college events :)

W - Waffles

Because Waffles is the most important word to start with "w"

X - X marks the spot

Treasure Hunts! Scavenger Hunts! Clue Hunts! Challenge Hunts! My kids love looking for treasure, and I love to plan them out! :)

Y - Yes!!

I hear it all the time. "People need to learn to say No". While that can be good advice, I try to instill the desire to say "Yes!". When people are in need, just help! If you have a neat idea on how to bless someone, just do it! We stay pretty busy, but I pray that when my kids get older they will always remember their childhood was spent serving others.

Z - Zelda 

Each of my kids have special time with dad at various nights of the week. We call this alone time. It's so hard to get these one on one moments. The kids and I thoroughly enjoy it. And it all started with Stevie's love of Zelda. We started carving out time for us to sit alone and play her favorite game of all time. Zelda. I love how those few minutes playing that game (I don't really play video games btw) turned into such a rich tradition for our family.

My princess Zelda :)

Well that's the Megows A-Z. Hope you enjoyed and have a great day!

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth 

Keepin' it Weird

 “Look how weird I drew this dragon. Will you hang it up?” – Stevie

“I like being called weird.” – Neela

“This food tastes weird. That means I like it.” – Titus

“Daddy, you got a weird neck. I love to squish it. It's my favorite.” – Olive

Being weird gets a bad rap in our society. While I don’t view it as derogatory for people to try to be normal, I just think everyone has some stuff about them that’s 100% unique. It’s so sad when people choose not to embrace it. In the Megow house, being “weird” is viewed as something we each strive to achieve. Not to just be weird for weird’s sake, but for each of us to be 100% ourselves. As a parent and a former “weird kid”, it’s so interesting seeing and nurturing my kids’ own individualism. Mostly, I just want to foster a safe place in our home for my kids to be completely themselves. I think one of my main goals is to really, highlight and compliment little things that are uniquely them.

I’m a big believer in the concept of nature vs nuture. Some skills and attributes can be learned or taught; however others are just kinda engrained in our DNA. I like to think every family tree has their own special mini superpower. Whether it is athleticism, organizational skills, musical talent, charm, drive for success, or any multitude of various intelligences, I believe everyone is born with something that just runs in their gene pool. The other day I randomly realized what the Megow family engrained mini superpower was. We are almost all impervious to peer pressure. I’m dead serious. Megows just kind of do whatever the heck they want and really don’t pay much mind to fitting any sort of social mold. If you know my family, I believe you will immediately recognize this. My parents are completely themselves.  As I lovingly explained earlier, they are pretty weird. Tom and Denise just do their own things. My dad wore wooden clog shoes as a nurse anesthetist in the hospital for decades without really caring whatever anyone would think. Just because he liked them. Then transitioned careers to start a local food bank. That career move was a significant decrease in pay. I’m sure he could have measured his career by his peers or people that voiced their strong opposition to his decision. But he just did what he felt led to do.  And well my mom… I have literally never met a person who is so hard to explain with words as Denise Megow. I talk about her (or do my impression of her… which she loves. hahaha) quite frequently with my friends. I love trying to explain her larger than life personality mixed with a quirky artistic flair and a gentleness that can be reserved at times, but it still very evident when it needs to be. She could not care less about whatever you think about her. She is not influenced by your opinion or thoughts on her decision. I freaking love that about both of my parents. They embrace their weirdness.

Tom: "Hey Honey. What should we do for this year’s Christmas Card photo?”

Denise: “I have a good idea. Let’s all go in the goat yard and just kinda see what unfolds on film.”

Megow Holiday Picture Circa 1996

So moving on from parents to me and my crew, I absolutely love the idea of my kids not giving a rip about what other people think. True; there are social norms, common courtesy, and a moral code to uphold, but I’m talking about them just being themselves. If they choose to be interested, dress, act, more mainstream, I’m completely cool with that as well. Mostly, I just want them to be the truest version of themselves. I kinda view it like dancing in public. How many of us dance around the house or in the car listening to music? But when the same song comes on at a wedding reception or social event, we just stand there and stare at the one “weird person” cutting a rug on the dance floor. My goal is for my kids to always be that “weird person”. Just completely void of peer pressure to live life the way they want.

Seth. Keepin' it classy. 

Now, I’m not saying weird people are the best (but we secretly are right? *wink* ) I just wanted to express how much I love when people are truly themselves whatever that may look like. My kids love to wear their clothes on backwards and inside out. They think it’s so fashionable. Do I let them go everywhere like that?  No. But when we go to the park or go out to eat, I let my kids wear whatever the heck they want. When we go to the park, if they want to crawl around on all fours like baby cats and pretend to hawk up hairballs by the swings then I say, freaking go for it. Why not?

I don’t know if it’s my complete lack of influence to peer pressure or if it’s a single dad thing, but I’ve kinda just given on up making my clan fit into a mold of society. Of course, I train them that there are times to conform a little (don’t give your friends cat baths at school or you can’t wear inside-out bathing suit trucks with a tuxedo shirt to church, etc.) However for the most part, if my kids want to do, eat, wear, or act a certain way that’s not inappropriate or disrupting I’m pretty cool with it. I view my responsibility as a parent to be a role model for kindness, love, hard work, integrity, and encouragement. Like I said earlier I still teach them social norms, right & wrong, and appropriate behavior, but besides that I love my kids being themselves, in whatever way that might look.

Seth: "Ok guys. No school today, so you get to come to work with dad,

 and you can wear whatever you want."

Kids: 

Who knows if my kids will decide to go full weird? Maybe they will choose to be like their dad and decide to wear only polyester disco shirts their entire eighth grade year of school. Or maybe not. Mostly, I just want them to comfortable expressing however they choose to be. And one day when they do get called “weird” to be able to confidently look at the person, smile, and say “Thanks. You’ve made my day.” And they just continue on their way…

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,

Seth