I grew up playing soccer. I wasn't really that good, but my parents were super supportive and always signed me up, drove me to practices/games, and cheered from the sidelines at every game. I mean I was decent on defense, but I'm just not blessed with hardly any athletic ability at all. Also, I loved the idea of being the team morale support officer/bench entertainment. I viewed my job as critical. When all of the good kids were on the bench resting, I could help them relax by cracking some sweet jokes, pretend farting, or something similar. I remember one childhood soccer memory super vivid:
I was picking blackberries by the edge of the woods near the soccer field and I start hearing people screaming my name (not in a good way, haha). "Crap. I remember I was supposed to be playing in the game," I think to myself. Then I sprint back to the field, but I didn't want to lose my blackberries that I was picking and holding in the bottom of my jersey like I basket, so I kinda kept holding the bottom of my jersey up to keep all of the blackberries from spilling out as I ran to the field and jumped back in the game. It was then I realized that I probably wouldn't fulfill my childhood dream of becoming a professional soccer player...
So all of that being said, when I told my parents I was going to coach Titus and Olive's soccer team this year, my mom fell out laughing. hahaha
This was not only my first year coaching, but it was also Titus and Olive's first time ever playing. I mean we've kicked the ball around in the backyard, but that's it. Titus was kinda pumped about it, but he loves basketball much more and viewed this as a placeholder until b-ball season started again. Olive on the other hand was mega excited! It was fun that they could play on the same team, plus their age group was the "non competitive" league which I loved. My goal as a coach was to make sure all of the kids learned about the sport, enjoyed the sport, and got to play the sport. I'll 100% honest that I wouldn't be a great "play to win" coach. I would much rather have the kids when they are young and get them excited about playing. So my plan was to balance the learning aspect with the fun aspect. Also, this league didn't have goalies and the coaches got to run around on the field with the kids. It just all sounded super fun and good exercise for me too. hahaha
Long before the season started, I wanted us to be "The Thunder" simply so we could blare 'Thunderstruck by AC/DC' as our official team anthem. I picked yellow jerseys at the coaches meeting because duh... I also thought it would be fun to make a team flag and have all of the kids sign it. So before the first practice Olive and I built a flag out of felt, some paint, and PVC pipes. It worked out pretty great and all of the kids on the team enjoyed it too! Another fun idea was to get giant banners for the team to run through every game. So each game we had a decorated banner for the kids to bust through. Sometimes, we had kids volunteer to make the banner and bring them to the next game (which I thought was the funnest idea EVER!) In my head, I knew we wouldn't be the 'best team', but I wanted us to be the 'fun team'. Each game the captain of the team got to carry the flag through the banner and around the field after the game. It was super fun!!
The Team!!!!
A banner made by a player
One of our banner run-throughs!!!
The kids on the team were seriously so so great. I really got attached to each one of them. They all tried so hard each game. Another minor (and secret) coaching achievement I set in my head was that I wanted each kid on the team to score a goal, and they did it! I believe our team record was 3 wins, 2 ties, and 2 losses. I'm not ultra sure, but I do know it was a great season.
One more thing that made it extra great was the support our team had more the parents and also our TEAM SPONSORS!!! We were the only team in the league to have a sponsor and I'm so thankful we had them. They were Chris and Jami from C-Tech Water Solutions (check them out here for more info). Besides being legit the kindest people I have ever met, their daughter was one of players as well. I liked them from the very beginning. Their company bought equipment for the team, brought snacks/drinks to practices, paid for every kid's trophy and meal at the end-of-season-banquet. I needed some extra eyes on the field during practice and had to miss one game at the very beginning of the season, so I asked Chris if he minded being assistant coach and filling in for me that game as well. BEST. DECISION. EVER. Coach Chris was amazing. I freaking love that guy. (Probably not as much as the kids though!) He was always smiling and eager to help. Truthfully, I think Olive liked him more than me. Hahaha.
Also, Coach Chris came up with our official team slogan
"FEEL THE BOOM!"
Like I said earlier our team record was 3-2-2, but what I didn't say is that didn't count our last game. Right before our last match of the season, we figured out the other team didn't show up so they gave us the option of just playing ourselves. Since we had 8 players that game, we just did 4 on 4. I took half and Coach Chris took half. That "game against ourselves" was probably my favorite moment of soccer I've ever experienced in my life. I think it was 40 minutes of straight laughter from the entire team, sideline of parents, and the coaches. The very last quarter of that game, we did coaches vs players. It was just pure, wholesome joy on the field. It topped our season off with just the best experience ever for everyone involved.
Players vs 'Crabwalking' Coaches
We had our team banquet at a local pizza place/arcade (shout-out to our team mom for organizing that and the snack schedule for each game!!!) Each kid got a trophy (courtesy of C-Tech) and an award from Coach Seth. The awards were super silly and fun.
Here's the award Olive won. hahah
Seriously though, aren't these two just so cute :)
I would love to keep coaching every season in the future; however, time just doesn't permit it. One day when my kids are grown and gone, I'm just going to be a little kid soccer coach each season. It's really such a fulfilling experience that I think everyone should try at least once.
Be Blessed, Be a Blessing, and GO THUNDER!!
"Coach Seth"
Titus wanted a Escape Room/Spy Party for his birthday. Since I didn't really find anything escape room wise skill wise for his age around us, I decided to kinda build one from scratch. I have to say it was mega fun to plan, organize, and run. It was such a hit that I've actually done it twice since then. I did it one for Sarah's kids when I visited and got to know them, and the last time was for my girls at the house (since they weren't at Titus's party).
So first off, I really couldn't find much online about building an escape room for kids. Mostly, it was just things you could buy to make one for adults. So that kinda forced me to really make it DIY. My main idea was to spread the escape room around the entire house. I broke it up over various rooms, which allowed me to give each room it's own challenge for the kids. Also, I didn't think little kids would want to stay in one room for that long, so this gave the chance to move throughout the house as they progress from room to room. Also, that way I could think of fun mini challenges for them without making it super hard. I'll put little videos of each of the rooms below, but I'll give a little explanation of each of the rooms:
1) A room that they had to fill with steam to read a secret hint on the mirror
2) A room full of bombs (balloons) they needed to diffuse (pop). Some of the bombs had secret puzzle pieces inside they had to assemble to find the a clue
3) A room where they had to figure out they needed to complete a painting. As they began to paint, a secret message began to appear on the paper which told them their next clue
4) A room that was only a cassette recorder that said "Play Me". Once they played the tape, it was weird sounding audio. So they needed to figure out it was actually audio in reverse and use a tool provided to play it backwards (and therefore hear the clue correctly)
5) A room full of a hidden pieces of blank paper. However, one they figured out they needed the blacklight flashlight to see a message on each of the notes, they could solve it and find that room's clue.
Once they finished completing all of the rooms, they put all of the clues collected to open the locked treasure chest that they found at the very beginning of the game.
After planning this, I realized how easy it would be to host one if provided with instructions and a list of supplies. Actually, I started this post by explaining and giving links to download all of the stuff I designed to throw your own, but explaining the setup it was a little harder over a blog post than I thought. So I kinda scrapped that idea and decided just to show a basic overview of what it was like. However, I have that instruction post about half way done. If anyone really wants to throw one of the escape room parties, just let me know and I'll finish it and publish it.
Last thing. All of the videos in the post are super short so you won't waste time watching them if you do.
________________________________
The Start
The very first thing the kids saw was a giant table filled with various tools/equipment. I really didn't give them much instruction besides telling them to look for the note which would get them started. Mr. E (The host... Get it Mr. E... like Mystery. hahahaha) explained in the letter, they won't need much of these objects to solve the rooms. I just set out a bunch of random stuff to throw them off. It was fun finding all of the extra "tools" that they didn't end up needing.
So here's the first note they got (It was hanging on a string to make it easy to find).
Basically it was telling them to go look in the dryer (where they would find the locked treasure box and the key to enter the first room)
________________________________
Room 1 (Hidden in Steam)
The first key matched the keyhole on our guest bathroom door. The instructions for this room read:
"I was hoping to give you an easier clue for this room but I didn’t have time. Right when I was in the middle of taking a hot bath someone brought into my house and tried to steal my mystery box! Since the bathroom was full of steam, I did not have many ways to write you a clue. I hope you can find it.
-Mr. E"
During all three of the times I did this one for kids, they needed a little help to figure out that they needed to recreate the room being full of steam so they could see the letter clue hidden in the room. However, once they figured it out and watched the steam make the letter appear on the mirror, they always think its so neat.
________________________________
Room 2 (Balloons)
The next key matched the keyhole on the bomb diffusing (balloon popping) room *Titus wanted it to be part spy party, hence the bombs. hahaha. The instructions for this room read:
"In this room, you will be diffusing bombs I have set as traps for any other people attempting to discover the contents of my treasure. A few of these bombs MIGHT contain clues, so pay attention while you are diffusing them.
-Mr. E"
I designed this room to be pure FUN! There wasn't much of a challenge element to it. But walking in with toothpicks and seeing 100 balloons to be popped is just so much fun as a child (and adult to be honest). They LOVED this one every time! I hid little puzzle pieces in a few of the balloons for them to assemble. I rolled them up so they wouldn't be flat; therefore I would take all four of them holding a piece to make it work. Little ways to incorporate teamwork like that are my favorite.
_______________________________
Room 3 (Complete the Painting)
The next room was a little tricky. The instructions on the door were:
"In this room, I’ve hidden the letter you seek as three different pieces. They will be HARD to find without a special hint.
Also, be careful for my painting on the easel. I really wish someone would finish it for me…
-Mr. E"
To be honest, I think this little challenge was my favorite. They really had to read the room instructions and figure out they needed to finish the painting. Also because it comes to life right before their eyes as they paint. It was so super easy to setup. Just write down something with a white crayon on a white piece of paper. Then as they paint over it with watercolors, it "magically" appears. :D After they finished the painting, they saw the clue was "Captain Underpants". So they looked in the room to find 3 Captain Underpants books with pieces of the letter inside.
______________________________
Room 4 (Reversed Audio Message)
The next room was really fun to plan. The instructions for this room were:
"This room might be a little tricky.
Remember, nothing can enter or leave this room besides tools and equipment you were provided at the table.
-Mr. E"
I love showing my kids older technology, so this one incorporated a Walkman cassette player. When they walked in, all they saw was the Walkman and a note that said "play me". When they played it, the audio was just a weird backwards sounding audio message. They had to go back to their equipment table, and figure out they need to use the iPad to play the message in reverse to hear it correctly. I really enjoyed making that one.
This is the audio that played on the cassette player
Picture of the iPad screen on the equipment table
Video of them figuring it out!
______________________________
Room 5 (Blacklight Notes)
Each time this was probably the favorite room. It's why I saved it for last each time. This was the instructions for the door:
"Once you successfully read the message exactly as it is written to your guide (Mr. Seth), you will be allowed to enter.
Again, you CANNOT enter this room until you do this.
-Mr. E"
I wrote that said "Lightswitch" with a highlighter on a yellow piece of paper and taped that to the door. It's basically impossible to read unless they used the right piece of tool (the blacklight flashlight). They couldn't enter this last room until they read me the note on the door. I did this to make sure they could do the room successfully and not mess up the order of the notes by randomly looking around without being able to read them. The tried a few different tools, but once they figured out that this note was only readable by blacklight, they were allowed to enter. Then it was just a series of them running around the move from note to note "Look in the box, finds a note that says "Look under the mattress, etc."
It was so fast paced and exciting for them! I loved watching them figure it out.
______________________________
Opening the Treasure!
So by now, they had all of the letters and had been making notes while they went through so they could remember the correct order. It was time to unlock the treasure they found at the very beginning!!!
I thought it would be fun to do a different type of prize this time (normally it's little pieces of candy, trinkets, etc.) But this time, I made four different prizes and they randomly picked each one. It was also fun because they were in little slide out envelopes, which made it fun to open for them.
Stevie won: "Pick the restaurant next time we go out to eat"
Neela won: "Gets a piece of candy next time we go to the store"
Titus won: "A get out of cleaning the house pass"
Olive won: "An extra hour of alone time with dad"
______________________________
It really was so fun to do it each time! And again, if anyone wants to host one of these, please let me know and I'll finish the instructions/downloads post. You'd probably have to spend like $30 to make it just like this one, but you could always change or mix it up to however you'd like!
Stevie –“ Because my friends are here. And I like the Fun Factory in the mall.”
Neela - “There are farms."
Titus - “I love helping people and I love Jesus. I like those things the most.”
Olive – “When baby animals get hungry, I take care of them in America.”
___________
2) If you had to rename America, what new name would you choose?
Stevie – “Poop under the rug”
Neela - “The Puppy Bed”
Titus – “I say ‘Place of the World’ or ‘Spy Club’. I can’t decide... * pauses in deep thought* Ok. I decided ‘Spy Club’. Everyone can be spies in Spy Club America… Wait… *pauses again, this time with a clear sense of worried concentration* Well, I don’t think there is enough trenchcoats and hats for everyone to be a spy. So I say ‘Place of the World’ now.”
Olive – “Mrs. Rose’s Cabinet”
____________ 3) If you had to pick a new National Anthem, what would it be?
Stevie - “Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree”
Neela - “Who let the dogs out”
Titus - “Drive my Car” (By the Beatles)
Olive - *leans head back and gargles spit in mouth*
___________ 4) Who was the first President?
Stevie – “George Washington”
Neela – “George Washington”
Titus – “George Washington”
Olive*holding up finger* - “My finger hurts”
___________
5) What important thing happened on July 4, 1776?
Stevie – “They invented chicken nuggets? … I’m just kidding. I know it wasn’t that. But I think the day they invented chicken nuggets is still an important day.”
Neela – “Jesus married God?”
Titus – “Is that the day I learned to snap my fingers?”
Olive – “I was asleep that day.”
___________ 6) Who should the new president and why?
Stevie – “Ms. Cowart, because she is so pretty and nice and she loves cats, and the best teacher ever… Besides my other teachers... *pauses* … They can all take turns being president.”
Neela – “Dad. Because you have the nicest beard and are the most handsome.”
Titus – “Ms. Leslie, my speak teacher, is because she is nice and sweet. I think she would be a good president because she hugs me.”
Olive – “Mrs. Rose. Because then I can move out of this house and live with her.”
___________
7) Why America is called the melting pot?
Stevie*laughing* – “Dad, you’re hilarious. It’s the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave. Not a pot. Nice try daddy.”
Neela – “We go into a pot and the president boils us up and eats us.”
Titus – “George Washington had a pot and it melted.”
Olive - “Daddy, my finger hurts” *holds up finger*
___________
8) What does the word “Congress” mean?
Stevie – “Cons living in grass?”
Neela – “A concert with people riding on horses?”
Titus – “Dancing on a stage?”
Olive - “I am going to die if I don’t get a band-aid for my finger”
___________
9) If you had to pick a new national animal, what would you pick?
Stevie – “Dragons. Only greens ones though. Red ones are too mean.”
Neela – “Golden Bamboo Lemur. They are almost extinct so I can save them.”
Titus – “Shark”
Olive*laying on floor, pressing face into the tile, and holding up finger* - “I’m dead now”
___________
10) If you were president, what would you do on your first day?
Stevie – “Go on TV and say “Poopy pants”. Then the whole world will think America is the funniest because their president tells good jokes.”
Neela - “Humans have to wear tails on their butts.”
Titus – “Make people live with their parents and take care of them when they are old.”
Olive*after being given a bandaid for her finger and instantaneously being revived* - “Drink Koolaid and lay in daddy’s bed.”
___________
11) If you were elected president, what clothes would wear to give your first big speech?
Stevie – “A shirt with a cat and my shorts… so I don’t get hot.”
Neela – “Spiked Porcupine Suit, so I can kill snakes without using a shovel.”
Titus – “A plain red shirt and red soft coat and a cool hat and red gloves. Everything I wear would be red. Except my hat. That would be dark red.”
Olive – “Naked.”
___________
12) If you were elected president, what would your first big speech be about?
Stevie – “I would do an art lesson. I would show them how to draw a white cat.”
Neela – “Save the animals and the forest.”
Titus – “I would teach everyone my workout moves so they can be this strong.” *flexes muscles*
Olive – “Can we be done with questions now? This is boring.”
I’ve had the blessing of enjoying life in several ways. Happily married with no kids. Happily married with kids, and now happily a single dad. With it being summer and time for family vacations, I wanted to kinda dissect the different ways I’ve approached family getaways over the years :)
Hahaha. You can tell that I've gotten much more laid back as in my most current stage.
_______________________
Planning the trip
No kids: Let’s go somewhere beautiful that we can sightsee. Or somewhere with a lot of hidden trails for hiking! For sure, we need an awesome tucked away beach that no one knows about.
Married with kids: Ok. Let’s try to find somewhere that has a lot of activities and neat stores we can take the kids to! Maybe we can take them to swim with dolphins or go to Disneyworld?! Single dad: Well considering I have about $400 bucks to make this trip happen, I just need to find somewhere remotely close to a public beach with free continental breakfast and a pool….
*Reading reviews of motels that fit that criteria*
- “This place is a nightmare. Room was messy and staff inattentive.”
*Ehhh.. Not looking good… continues to scroll*
- “Grungy looking towels.”
*Crap. I dunno about this place. I’ll read one more review*
- “I got stabbed in the parking lot, but continental breakfast features a waffle making station.”
*A waffle maker!?! Books room*
________________________
Packing
No kids: “Let’s take some nice outfits so we can go to some fancy dinners while we are out.” “Also, let's bring some fun stuff to wear for at night since we can stay in bed as long as we like!"
Married with kids:“Hmmm…. I have two suitcases full of clothes, one full of crafts for the condo, Single dad:*Assembles children the day before departing for the trip*
Me: “Guys. Wanna pack your own bags for vacation this year?!?”
Children: “Yes!!”
Me: “Remember, pack the stuff you’ll need for an entire week.”
*Checks bags the morning of the trip to find a box of crayons, 48 Littlest Pet Shop toys, a “how to do magic tricks” book, 4 fidget spinners, a tooth one of them lost last week, 17 bathing suits, and shells they bought back from the beach last year.*
Me: “Ehhhh… Close enough. Grab your toothbrush before we jump in the van to leave.”
________________________
The car trip there
Before kids: “Isn’t it nice to take cute backroads and highways? Oooohhhh, look at that sign! A little local antique store that sells fresh boiled peanuts is only 20 miles off route… let’s go!”
Married with kids: *to spouse* “I’m so glad you loaded up the bags and mapped out the fastest route. I gave me time to make fun, little on-the-road bags.” and “Remember if anyone gets car sick, I’ll take over driving so you can sit in the back with a bucket and cold towel.”
Single dad: “AAHHH!! I know you are getting car sick! I can’t stop in the middle of the interstate. Here just throw up in the sand bucket we bought for the beach.” and “No we aren’t stopping for food, I don’t you guys to eat BEFORE we left. We only have like about 90 minutes left on the road… just eat some of those goldfish crackers you split in your cup holder last week.”
________________________
On the beach
No kids: “Let’s go play in the ocean for a few hours and then we can come relax in our beach chairs under our nice cool umbrella. *Deep sigh* How relaxing…” Married with kids:*to wife* “I’m about to haul all of this stuff from the car to the beach. Pick out a nice spot!” and “Let’s alternate between one of us sitting in the sand with the younger kids and one of us out in the water with the older ones.”
Single dad: “AAAHHHH!! Don’t run out there! My hands are ful…. *drops everything* and sprints down the beach and into the ocean to grab the Olive (“almost swimmer”) from diving into the surf. *walks back to inspect dropped stuff* “Well, I hope you guys want all of our beach snacks covered and sand. Also, I think that’s our giant beach ball like 200 yards down the beach, wait it’s about to hit the lady in the face… crap! Ok no one in the water. Cmon! We gotta run half a mile down the beach to apologize to her… Well, I know you want to play in the water, but we have to apologize to that lady so let’s all go because I can’t leave you by yourself… There’s four of you and one of me. I can’t just leave you here… Wait! Where’s Neela!... Ahhh!!! That’s not our food basket sweetheart! Oh. My. Gosh. How much of those people's food did you eat?!? Ok, let’s find whoever this basket belongs to and pay them back for their food… One second Stevie… I’m looking for these people… One second PLEASE!!... ugh what is it?!?.. Titus is where?!... ”
________________________
Nighttime
No kids: “Let’s go out and see some local bands play! And then let’s go for a night walk on the beach!”
Married with kids: “How about we get the kids down and then we grab some wine and jump into the hot tub on the back patio?” Single dad: “Well. They are asleep. Maybe I’ll read my book I brou… *falls asleep*
________________________
Vacation Family Picture
No kids: “Let’s get someone to take our picture at sunset on the beach.” Married with kids: “Well let’s get a good picture so we can share it with family. Let’s do it later in the week so we all have some sun and aren’t super pale. Also, let’s do it later in the evening so we can go to the beach in the morning. That way the kids won’t get their matching cuffed up jeans and white shirts wet from the ocean because they will have already gotten their swimming kick in for the day.
Single dad:“Just wear whatever you want… Oh you wanna hold that dead hermit crab you found on the beach?... I mean whatever. I don’t care as long as you smile.”
________________________
Headed Home
No kids: “That was a nice trip but I’m ready to get back to home. I miss the dogs.”
Married with kids:*to wife* “That was fun, but we need a vacation from this vacation. The kids are burnt out and I’m exhausted.”
Single dad: “Sorry guys, it’s the last day… No we can’t stay longer, we have to turn in the key this morning… I wish we could stay too... Well… actually we did bring the tent… State park here we come!”
I've talked about this on my facebook before, but never really in depth. It's probably one of the sweetest things my kids do (and one of the most embarrassing). Last Christmas, my kids decided the best gift they could get me would be to find me a wife. Hahahaha. Clearly, they think I'm not capable enough for this task and need their assistance. Neela typically leads the charge, but the others are quick to give their advice/opinion on the matter. About 70% of the adult women we see in public get asked the question "Do you want marry my dad?"
Now keep in mind a large majority of these people are complete strangers. My kids literally have no shame. At first, this was jawdroppingly embarrassing. I mean, I would just stand & stare at my children making me look at a complete idiot. Also, earlier when I said the phrase "adult women", I was using that term loosely. "Adult" to my kids means anyone over the age of around 15. I literally cannot express to you the horror I have felt at certain times. Picture this: We are in the grocery store and we see a 6'5 man in full military attire (complete with mustache) walking with his high school freshman age daughter. Neela walks right up to the barely teenage girl and starts talking. I see this happening and immediately toss the frozen pizza I'm grabbing out of the freezer section across the isle while sprinting to break up this conversation. I don't make it. This is what I run up to...
Neela: "You're so pretty. My dad is handsome. I bet he would think you are so pretty. Hey! I got a great idea. You two should marry!! *turns around to me see right behind her and out of breathe from sprinting across the store* Great!!! Here he is!... Dad. Isn't she so pretty!?! I bet you are in looooove now..."
As the blood drains from my head is shock and embarrassment, I notice the dad's knuckles turning about as white as my face. I try to laugh it off and yank Neela away from the situation. Of course, we literally are on one of those "isle twins" routines. Every time, we go down an isle who do we see rounding the corner. Grabbing fruit loops... isle twin. Looking a bag of flour... isle twin. Grabbing some chewing gum...isle twin. It was so bad. Finally, me and the kids just grabbed some fruit snacks and ate them in the toy section, so I wouldn't be stuck behind them in the checkout line. Later, we had a big talk about "age appropriateness". hahaha.
However, normally I don't mind too much. They ask college girls at work, women at restaurants, moms at the park, and even senior citizens who live at my grandma's retirement home. (Fun fact: Occasionally, some women smile at the kids and say "Sure!". However, at the nursing home, I tend to rack up with the potential spouse candidates ;) Actually, one time one of the teachers at school told me that Neela had already given out "wedding jobs" to all of the elementary teachers (flower girl, priest, picture taker, dog sitter..."
Now to be honest, when they first started doing this, I was a little worried they were trying to fill some "mom void" in their own lives. I got nervous that I wasn't doing a great job of being both mom and dad. However, over months of conversations with them I've learned that they just really want me be happy. Although, I constantly tell them that I really enjoy spending my time with them, they just think I should have a partner. They might want me to find someone more than I do actually.
Tangent Alert:
Pardon my rabbit trail.
This is just my opinion, but I think some people rush through the single parenting experience at times. In all honesty it's so much work and can be emotionally/physically draining, but once you get over the hump; get in the groove, it's just the most interesting life experience. Not only does it give you an amazing chance to bond with your kids, but it forces you to grow out of your comfort zone as a human. I've always been fun, carefree, and a little weird. So naturally when I became a dad I encouraged that in my children. However, over the past few years I've noticed flaws in my parenting and personal life due to the fact that I'm playing both parenting roles. I always like to compare it to the movie "Big Daddy". My kids were pretty much named Frankenstein, acting crazy, and dressed like this for school. In time, I learned how balancing social norms and actual etiquette along with the fun/crazy is ultra beneficial.
"Sure, you can wear a pot on your hear and paint the toilet with fingernail polish."
Also, there's just such a strong sense of value I've been able to pass along to my kids being a single parent. They know they are the most important to me. There's no competition between a woman. There's no questioning that I value my relationship and time with them above everything else. With them going through their abandonment issues, this has been such a major part of their healing.
End of Tangent ;)
So besides them asking women to marry me, they also like to give me tips on how to meet/impress women. Here are some of my favorite pearls of wisdom I've received from my children on how to impress the opposite sex.
- "Whenever you go in public, you should take off your shirt. Grown up women like a hairy man. And boy. you hairy." - "Just do this whenever you see a pretty girl..."
- "Dad! That girl is pretty. You should talk to her... Don't act weird like you normally do." - "Take us to the ice cream store. Girls are always in good mood when they eat ice cream." - "About taking off your shirt, you need to lose a few pounds in your belly before you do that actually." - "I bet you would be more handsome without your glasses.... Take them off... Nope.... Put them back on." - "Dad. I bet there will be pretty girls there tonight. You should wear your tight pants!"
10) Make sure the snooze button works on your morning alarm because
you’ve saved up enough extra tardy chances for your kids to be late every day this week and
still avoid the truancy officer call
9) Duct tape the straps on their book bag and cringingly reassure them "you only have to use this for a FEW more days!"
8) Carelessly watching your kid pack their own snack for school that
consists of them digging through the lucky charms box to dig out all of the marshmallows
and combining them into a zip-lock bag already filled with pizza flavored goldfish
7) Getting ultra pumped for all of the end of year artwork
coming home soon!! (For real, this is seriously like Christmas!!)
6) Trying to rent a movie for Friday night that they haven’t already
watched that week in one of their 4 different end of year school parties
5) Digging out a pen in the car from under the driver’s seat
while waiting in the school drop-off line to sign all of the end of year
activity release forms that you completely forgot about until you see the giant
blow-up bounce houses outside of the classrooms
4) Being extra nice to school administrators to make up for all
of the school fundraiser papers that mysteriously found themselves at the
bottom of the pile of junk mail on the kitchen counter
3) Having to re-download the classroom notification app to
your phone because your child deleted it to make storage room to record twelve
solid minutes of her sister doing cannonballs in the pool the previous weekend
2) Thinking to yourself that your kids’ outfits look pretty
good until you see them walking with all of the other kids, but realize it’s
too late to change them and too late in the school year to care.
1) Thank Thank Thank the teachers!!!! Remind them they only
have a few more days of enduring things like having to listen to your child’s only knock-knock joke for the 43rd
time.
Thad, Graham, Claren (and Ben), and I each contributed to do a write-up for you on Mother's Day! I hope you enjoy it. Others that might read this, I hope you can get a sense of how great our mom is!
Thad
Hope bloomed as Momma pulled the minivan into the shopping center parking lot where Bemiss and Ashley intersect. For days I had been jawing about the carnival each time we'd drive by it, "ooOO look at the gravitron!". I could only look to her for answers, "Why are we here? Shouldn't I be in class?" She grinned as she answered with an unforgettable nugget, "People with perfect attendance lead boring lives."
Maybe she thought I needed a break from a stressful transition into a new school. So, after dropping off the rest of the Megow clan at Open Bible elementary, she played hookey with me and brought me to the fair. I remember feeling proud to be by her side as we wandered through the attractions together. She even consented to riding on the Speeding Bullet, a rather extreme carnival ride which slung us around and upside down in a little metal capsule. I burst with joy as we rocked back and forth in widening arcs. Momma screamed so loud while we were suspended upside-down at the apex of the swing! It was a perfect mother and son date. I cherish the gesture she made that day. -Thad
____________________________
Seth
Momma, there’s a lot I would like to thank you for: Endless
driving to soccer practice/games, always cooking fresh from scratch dinners,
buying raspberry sorbet just for you and I to share, attending every football
game just to watch me march in the halftime show, etc. However instead of spending this little write-up
talking about all the sacrifices you made as a parent (which were and are
literally uncountable), I want to talk about one main thing I’ve learned from
you as my mom that has helped define me as a man and now father to my own kids.
It’s my favorite part about you… you are 100% authentic and unapologically
yourself.
I remember as a small kid going other places and hearing
people talk about “Denise”. That conversation normally ended up with the person
doing an impression of some aspect of you (your booming laugh, your slightly
tilted head serious face, dancing at church, etc.). I remembered always
wondering why people would do impressions of you when I was younger. As an
adult, I think it’s because you were just so unique and different from the norm
of society that people can’t really explain Denise. They have to experience
Denise. You embody a type of zeal for life that few can even comprehend.
Hahahaha. I love that.
Now as a parent, I try to pass that onto my own kids. I’m
learning that I can’t just say “be yourself” or “embrace what makes you unique”.
I have to actually learn about myself and embrace it. They aren’t going to
accept their uniqueness, if I’m not doing it myself. However, it’s not really
that hard for me to do, because I grew up with a mom that was always going
against the grain. My entire childhood was shaped by a mother who still to this
day, is the only person I can’t describe with words. By your actions and life,
you’ve taught us to love Jesus, people, family, and passions with wild abandon.
The Dr. Seuss quote that always comes to mind when I think
of you was a little saying you had taped to your bathroom mirror years ago:
Thank you for being you. I’m so thankful and blessed to have
you as my mom. I love you. -Seth
__________________________________
Claren
My Mama is a very unique person. Her laugh is contagious and anyone who had hear it knows this. If us kids could not find her for whatever reason, we would listen for her laugh. She can be loud:)
I remember going shopping for my senior prom dress. Mama and I drove down to Jacksonville for the day. In the car ride there we were just talking about what we wanted to accomplish that day and how long we could be gone since we had to be back by a certain time.
We went to the first store and we did not find anything. Then we went to another store. We found a few different dresses. I found one dress on the sale rack that I liked. So it was off to the dressing room we went. I tried on a few of the dresses and they did not look good.I tried on the dress from the sale rack. I loved it. I went to show her. She liked it too. She beamed. I got the side eye smile. If you get that then you know she is happy. It is hard to explain the side eye smile, it usually comes before the afore mentioned laugh. It is this look so full of love and joy. It can not done justice by mere words. We got fancy shoes to go with the dress. When we got back home, we showed off the prom dress and the fancy shoes. We were both very excited about them. I remember we stopped for lunch on the way back home. We talked about how exciting prom was and how exciting it was get dressed up. The ultimate accomplishment of that day was the we stayed under budget.
After my engagement, I knew I wanted her to be here to help me pick out my wedding dress. With the wonders of technology, we were able to Skype her in. I came out to show everyone THE dress . I heard the side eye smile. I know that sounds weird but I heard it:). Hopefully one day I will be able to give my children this special gift, the side eye smile.
There is no one like my Mama.
I realized that I am extremely blessed to call her my Mama.
Love you,
Claren
__________________________________
Ben
Denise is a very kind and welcoming person, that made me feel at home when I first met her. I remember the confused look on her face when I asked if I needed to take my shoes off or leave them on as is the custom in Alaska when entering someone's home. She makes wonderful southern style food that I was able to have for the first time, even though it was a bit spicy for me, I couldn't get enough. (Especially the Mexican egg rolls that I can never get enough of even when I make them.) She is very helpful when I need recipes to cook for Claren to give her something to remind her of home, even though I make it exactly the same as the recipe Claren says it's not the same and I have to make some changes till she says it's right. I remember she had said she never had reindeer sausage before, so when she came to Alaska for our wedding I made her some scrambled eggs and reindeer sausage which she enjoyed, so I gave her a package of reindeer sausage to take home. I'm very happy to have gotten to know her and have her as a second mom, and look forward to keep getting to know her in the future. Happy Mother's Day. Love Ben.
_________________________________
Graham
When I think about mama I can think of plenty of good things to say, but what is most impressive is her spiritual side. She has been a great example of what prayer can do. I remember she was constantly in prayer groups or praying at home. I never really understood why until many years later. I still don’t understand completely, but through her diligence I know it’s a path that I know needs to be invested in. I’m glad I’ve had her in my life to show me when to be stubborn and when to be humble. -Graham
Recently, I was talking to someone about bucket lists. I hadn't ever thought of making one myself so I made a little one. Then I was thinking how fun it would be to compare my life to a bucket list if I made one as a kid. So of course, I helped the kids made their own lists for them to have when they grow up. :D They are pretty fun. Enjoy!
__________________________
Olive
Go to the fair
Be a tiger trainer
Have the funnest day at school
Be friends with all of my teachers
Talk like a bear
Invent a phone and give it to poor people
Lose two more teeth
Plan a picnic
Live in a orange house with black stripes like a tiger
Be a cheerleader
Get married
Do all the fun things like go to the beach
Work with dad at his work
Call someone on the phone
Wear a fancy hat
Adopt a nice dog from the pound
Titus
Invent a teleporter
Get a robot that pays me candy every two minutes
Be able to turn invisible
Learn about sharks and be able to talk to them
Drive a Lamborghini
Live in a house that has secret tunnels in the walls
Be a dad
Do a magic trick that no one can figure out
Find a shark egg
Have a shark tooth necklace
Get a tattoo
Fly with jet packs
Be a professional basketball player
Grow a beard like dad
Have big muscles
Be a good husband
Neela
Find Douglas (our dog) a wife
Discover the first real dragon and ride it
Go on a road trip
Own and run a farm full of animals
Be a third wheel on one of dad's dates
Ride an airplane
Have five kids
Marry a husband who spoils me
To help Douglas live forever
Ride a horse instead of drive a car when I grow up
Be the funniest actress in a play
Go skydiving and bungee-jumping
Have two pet bald rats and name them Jeffrey & Heffrey
Have my kids sit at the table for breakfast when I'm a mom. I'm going to be making delicious pancakes, but when I go to pour the pancake mix I trip over my dog and I spill the pancake mix everywhere and it gets all over all of us. Then we all laugh. I think that's my dream moment.
Stevie
Live in Michigan with my best friend Josie
See snow every winter
Become friends with everyone I meet
Have 6 or more dogs
Have at least 12 mutts or mixed breed dogs
Save dogs from the pound
Have a swimming pool
Invent a bicycle for dogs
Go to the Atlanta Zoo
Make clay figurines
Be the first person to visit every planet
Invent sandwiches for dogs
Bring Douglas to visit my class at school
Help an animal give birth and feed the babies with a bottle
Seth
Write a book based on my blog
Adopt a Corgi
Get married to my best friend
Complete my PhD
Start traveling in festivals and have a booth that gives out balloon animals for free to kids.
Have daily walks with my wife in the cool of the evening and just enjoy each other's presence
Travel the country in one massive road trip
Design a mural of all of my favorite drawings my kids have ever done and get it tattooed on me
Ride on a sailboat
Get another vw bus
Write and illustrate children's books
Visit Europe by train
No. I’m not dating
anyone. Also, this post idea might seem a bit strange (it did to me which is
why I’ve put off writing it for months). However as I’m going to discuss in
this letter the longer I’m single, the more confident I’m becoming in God’s
plan for me. I love as more and more phases of this plan unfold. It’s just an
exciting unknown at each step. One unknown is marriage. God knows I want to
have a spouse so bad; however, He also knows the exact person and time for that
person to walk into that role. In this letter I talk about some pretty specific
character traits. For so long, I’ve been feeling these things are just me being
picky. However lately I’ve realized that I’m not really describing the list of
my “wants” of a potential, God showed me that these are the traits that my
future wife already has. He’s picked out
one person special for me. And He’s picked out me as the someone special for
her. My favorite part of this whole “letter to my future wife” idea is that I
confident that if she were to write a “letter to her future husband” that she
would be describing me! :D Isn’t God the coolest?
*Grammar Disclaimer- I’m
going to be jumping around between past, present and future tense quite a bit.
Honestly I despise writing like that, but I’m not really sure how to word my
thoughts otherwise. Also, I’m typing this thing up as it comes to me, so please
pardon other grammatical/spelling errors.*
______________________________________________
Dear Future Wife,
Well, if you are reading this I guess that’s a start huh? Hahaha. Just letting you know that this little letter is pretty sappy. Hahaha. I think you'll enjoy it though. So... who knows how old we are or what stage in life we are in. That being said, it’s
comforting to know that wherever that might be we are in it together. When I
sat down and starting typing this out, I had so many thoughts and emotions rush
to mind. So I’m going to try my best
to type this out and stay focused without getting too excited and going down 43
rabbit trails about how great you are.
First is, I’m unexplainably
glad I waited for you. At the point of this letter, I have been a single
parent for about 4 years. One might think that the longer I remained single
that I would become increasingly worried about ending up alone and lower my
standards. As the years past though, I’ve matured as a man. Growing closer with
God and being more self-aware has really opened my eyes to exactly the type of
woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I can’t exactly put my finger
on how, but when I knew it was you, I just knew. There are not many things I’m
certain of in this life, but this is one of them. Just as I have been praying
for my kids each day, I’ve been praying for you. More importantly, praying for
myself to be the man you need me to be.
Second, I love that
you are unashamedly 100% you. We’ve all heard the saying that boys tend to
marry someone like their momma. Hahahaha. Well in this regard that’s very true.
You remind me of my mom in this way. She’s never going to mask herself in any
situation. There’s no acting or fake emotions. She’s just going to be her
honest self regardless of situation, just as you are. I like that about you.
Also, I think that’s why my mom likes you so much too :) Now let me explain
some of the parts about “you” that I absolutely love. (Side note: I’ve known these would be the traits I would love about you
from way before I starting writing this letter. As I said earlier, God’s
refined me enough to know my purpose in life, just as He has been refining you
for your purpose. That’s why I’m confident in these things. Just as each of us has
our own purpose, we also now have a joint purpose. In my mind, these traits are
so important to our joint purpose)
-Empathy- I’ve
met so many people that are empathetic in my life. It’s my favorite human
trait, because it just oozes Godly love and compassion. You, however, are on a
complete other level. It’s a constant process with you. It’s almost like a
super power. I’m still amazed how you can read and feel others so well and
every. single. time you encounter someone, you show them love how they need it.
I’ve literally never seen you dismiss someone. To most this character trait
would probably be more than they could handle, but you show such grace in using
it to love others, I’m literally awestruck.
-Determination- To
be quite honest, I don’t know of a stronger turn-on than a hard working,
resourceful woman. And seriously holy crap, you get stuff done. Before I really
got to know you, I thought I was a pretty hard working individual. Hahahaha.
And then I spent a weekend with you in complete boss mode. Normally, people are
either more big picture or detailed oriented. As I’ve stated in this letter and
will probably say many more times before I’m done writing is that you are anything
but normal. Not only do you have the skills to create these amazing, picture
ideas, you are also an amazing planner and “get things done” kind of gal. Each
time we are talking about doing something, you either come up with or contribute
AWESOME ideas that blow any idea I have out of the water. You are out of a
scale from 1-10 for creativeness, you are an 11!! And once we get started on
whatever we are working on (project, craft, job, etc.), you can think about 17
steps in advance and predict what we will need to do now in order to be prepared
for then. I seriously love that about you.
-Deep Emotions- You
feel emotions on a deep, raw level. Whether it be a good or bad one, you feel
it 100%. You just have such naturally robust feelings that life is never
boring. Like everyone, you’ve had hard times in life. However, you’ve truly
felt such intricacy in that pain/sadness that you’ve learned more about
yourself than most probably would. You’ve trusted God when things were dismal
and grown in faith and integrity. Not only do I love your deep, complex
emotions but I also love that your non verbals are extremely telling. Never do
you act rude or attention hungry when you are down, you are still so very kind
but it’s evident you are upset.You
naturally act extremely clear on what you need and how you need it. If you are
sad, it’s so easy to tell you want your space or would rather me come give you
a hug. Finally, you have felt so much of the emotional scale in your life that
you’ve learned how to calm your soul regardless what the world throws at you.
You have an irresistible Godly serenity. Whether things are up or down, you
maintain this joyful peace that always makes me ear to ear grin.
Third, I love how you
are effortlessly layered with so many seemingly not matching character traits
and watching them unfold into the truest form of uniqueness I’ve ever seen. You are truly an enigma in the most amazing
sense of the word. You can get dirty and sweaty working outside in your garden;
however still look radiant. You are seriously tough as nails in so many areas
of life, but still have a rare delicate and gentle spirit. You constantly talk
about how not funny you are, yet you make me laugh so hard. Seriously, I don’t
know if there has ever been a moment in the time we’ve spent together where you
have thought “I’m going to make Seth laugh”, but you do it effortlessly. You are
extremely thrifty and practical, but you have such a giving heart. I’ve seen you sacrifice something for yourself
because it cost too much money (literally maybe just a few dollars), but turn
around and bless someone with something twice as nice as what you didn’t buy
yourself. You have a meek and reserved spirit, but give passionate kisses. You
are one of the most intelligent people I know, but you never puff yourself up
with pride. You can know more than anyone in the room, yet you have so much
wisdom that you know when it’s better to keep quiet and simply listen to what
others have to say. You are adventurous, spontaneous, and exciting, yet you feel
comfortable and relaxing. Every time I’m with you, it just feels like home. So
serene….
Fourth, you allow me
space and grace to transition from single parenting. Yes. We are a team.
Actually, more than a team, we’re one now. Yet even that doesn’t negate the
fact that I have four children from a previous marriage. Although you seriously
love my children as your own, you also allow me to pour into them individually.
You give me the space I need when I want alone time when any and each of them.
It’s a truly self-sacrificing love that I can’t really explain with words. Not
only that, but I’m transitioning from being a single parent for a long time.
You and I both have learned to be independent. I love that we are learning to
co-parent together. You are patient and kind. I truly can’t thank you enough.
Finally, you don’t make an effort to “be my kids’ mom”. They have a mom, and in
all the time I’ve known you, I’ve never heard you speak anything but love about
her. As I continue to learn more about the fall-out of divorce, you continue to
support me as my wife. When I get overwhelmed or frustrated, you point me to
scripture. I love that Crissy speaks nothing about great things about you. She
constantly tells me and the kids how blessed we are to have you in our lives.
That truly speaks hugely about your integrity and character.
Fifth and finally,
you are my person. I’m just blessed to have you in my life. No matter how
long we’ve been dating, engaged, or married I still get super excited at random
times when I think about you. Seriously, whenever you pop in my head I always
get happy. Even in the middle of an argument, I have this overwhelming peace
that you love me. I’ve been left before, and to be honest it took me a long
time to recover from that. I trust you completely, which is something important
to me I can’t stress enough. At times after my divorce, I’ve felt that I wouldn’t
find security and peace in a relationship. I learned to block that fact that I
was divorced and struggle with insecurity. However you encouraged me to use my
experiences to minister to others, just as you have ministered to others who
went through similar heartbreak you experienced.
You aren’t perfect. I
am well aware of your flaws, just as you are aware of mine. But the neat part
of God’s match, is that we were wired to strengthen each other’s flaws. For example,
you have a little fire in your belly that comes out from time to time. Honestly,
I love a little feisty in my woman, but there are times I smile and calmly try
to diffuse the situation. ;) Hahahaha. To be fair, I tend to avoid problems I
don’t want to deal with. You have learned to step in and lovingly give me a
nudge to deal with these things before they blow up in my face. I’m thankful
for those little nudges.
I’m thankful for the sunshine you bring into my life.
