Tuesday, August 25, 2015

"Hold on! Let me get you a bowl... nevermind, I guess you can just puke in my hands"

Disclaimer: I figured I would let the world see the full oddness and craziness of the Megow life. Those who can't take it, well, they can move on. However, if you can handle this one, you will probably be fine in the future (hopefully) :D

The past three weeks have been crazy at for the ole' Megow clan. I've had sick kids before. I've also, had sick kids before as a single parent. I have ALSO, cared for sick kids while I was sick myself as a single parent. However... there has never been a month on God's green earth last the past one. I'm pretty convinced my kids figured out school was starting so they all got together to come up with plans to get as many germs as possible for make themselves sick to get out of school, hahaha... But I'm kind of serious. That meeting might have happened: (Spoiler: Each of these these my kids actually did within the past month. Pro parent, I know)

1) Licked a stranger. (My kids love to pretend they are dogs. They get in big trouble for licking, but at least they haven't started humping strangers yet ;)

2) Licked a walmart shelf. (So apparently a bag of sugar busted. I was just looking at the muffins when I turn around and all of my kids are on their hands and knees licking the busted sugar on the shelf.) - Side note, kids like sugar.

3) Licked various animals. 

4) Licked each other's blowpops and dum dums (Going for that rainbow colored tongue look. That's high fashion in the 6 and under category)

Still for the life of me, I can't figure out why they got sick... :) hahaha

But for real, I do try to do a really good job of keeping the house disinfected and sterilized. I think I could have bought stock in bleach and Lysol. Over the past few weeks, my kids caught ringworm (in the hair), a bad stomach bug, summer colds, and impetigo (uuggghhh... thats the devil). Having four that close in age and handling them by myself, germs are bound to get shared no matter how hard to you try.

I was handling it pretty well too, until I caught the stomach bug. Picture this:
Some of my kids with open sores all of their face and body and others with ringworm, but all of them puking. Where am I? Dragging myself across the kitchen floor trying to clean up their puke while at the same time trying to reach the trashcan before I have more chunks to wipe up. At one point, we were all just kind of laying on the cold kitchen tile, when Olive said she was about to throw up again. I got up as fast as I could to find one of our communal vomit bowls. Suddenly she ran up to me, grabbed my hands and cupped them together in front of her face and just hurled a nice, warm, meaty vomit straight into my hands. Needless to say, I just threw up everywhere immediately. Of course, some got on Olive's head, so she threw up again and then just slipped in it, fell on the floor, and got covered in puke. If the other three weren't also staring at the sheer disgust, I could tell they would have been dying laughing. It was pretty gross.

Hey wanna hear another puke story from a few weeks ago? Sure you do!
So I finally got all the kids their nausea medicine and I took mine, hoping to get some much needed sleep. By now, I think I had been up for about 2 days straight caring for the kids and trying to squeeze in some work from home when I felt up to it. Anyways, I stripped my bed and put down some old bed sheets because I knew all of them would end up in or around my bed. When they get sick, they always end up there. Of course, around midnight, I felt them start to trickle in one by one. I only have a queen so it's pretty tight fit with all 4 of my kids. Also, I like them being close when they are puking because I have this horrible and irrational fear that they might choke on their vomit because they might be too tired to wake up and know whats going on. (Breaking Bad anyone???)

That junk was intense

So by around 1am or 2am, all four had made it to Dad's bed and the throw-up party started. I was just holding hair and catching puke (new t-shirt idea?)

You know you'd buy it. ;)

So, I was doing that for a few hours, when finally I felt myself about to literally pass out for exhaustion. So I just flipped all the kids on their stomachs and laid on the floor beside the bed. I keep hearing people throwing up, but by this point, I'm just too tired to even get up to clean it. "I'll just clean it in the morning." I kept thinking to myself. Finally, I hear someone about to blow some mega chunks and told myself no matter what happens, I gotta get some sleep. I don't know if you have ever been that tired, but I was to the point of body shutting down tired. So I just closed my eyes and started to fall asleep, suddenly, I feel this massive dump of warm ooziness get dumped onto my back. Now in this moment, people can say what they want but if you have ever been this exhausted, you might understand. I kind of just laid there half asleep trying to figure out what I should do about this massive pile of chunk on my back. I knew if I stood up it would just drip down my leg. And I was too tired to get some massive brainstorming to try to get it off. So finally, when I couldn't make up my mind on what to do, I just kind of rolled over onto my side and let the puke kind of ooze it's way down the my back onto my covers. I woke up in that same position and kind of stuck to my covers. hahahahaha. Yep. That's my life. 

Anyways, if you are still reading this congratulations. So once the kids started to get better, I felt bad taking them to alot of public places because I didn't want to get anyone else sick. In case you didn't know, we have an on-the-go family. Man, they were starting to go stir crazy being couped up in the house or at my work office. But we survived Praise Jesus! 

If you want to see how stir crazy we got, check out this video me and Neela made. She wanted me to show her how to dance with a flag stick thing, so I rocked that thing. 

Remember to make someone smile today :)

Edit: Also, if you have seen my kids in public lately, please don't be concerned about getting any sort of thing from them now. They are all better, completed all their antibiotics, and have been back at school for a few days now. 

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