Subtitle: “Online - Healthy Living, Clean House, and Happy Children” vs “Reality - Drinking Bug Juices while sitting on a pile of clean laundry I have yet to fold while fighting over who has to scrub up the jelly that they spilled while making their own jelly sandwiches on white bread.”
So in case you don’t know, my online persona (as well as
every single persons’ on the planet) is not the same as real life. Seriously, I
think about all of the back stories behind cute family pictures “THIS IS YOUR
LAST CHANCE TO SMILE OR SO HELP ME GOD YOU WILL EAT BROCCOLI FOR EVERY MEAL OF
YOUR LIFE!!!” Or there’s what I like to call the “Zoom out” or the “3 minutes
later”. Our society are masters of cropping and perspective. I might think “Let
me post this little cute picture of the healthy meal I made for my kids. People
would be really impressed by this or think I’m rocking this single dad thing”.
Honestly, we are all guilty of it. Let’s break down the full story of this picture that I uploaded
recently to Instagram…
To me this is a pretty legit little dinner. Veggies, fruit,
and little cute chicken nuggets. I was so proud to post this; however in my
head, I pretty much called the outcome before I even laid the trays down. I
remember this night pretty vividly so here’s a rough timeline
5:45pm: I made this super fun and somewhat healthy kids
dinner.
5:47pm: I took a picture and put it online, feeling like a
boss at dinner.
5:49pm: Stevie immediately screamed at the sight of her tray
and hid under the table.
5:50pm: While attempting to pry Stevie from under the table,
Neela started singing the “God is great, God is good, Let us thank Him for our
food” blessing song.
5:51pm: Titus gets mad and pitches a fit because his
favorite blessing is “God our Father, we give thanks…” That night Titus and Neela pretty much start
screaming over each other to say their own blessing louder. In true “let’s
thank Jesus for our blessings style” Neela pushes Titus out of his chair, then
finishes up her blessing.
5:54pm: I finally get Stevie out from under the table.
5:56pm: Titus finally stops crying, so I start to make
drinks for everyone.
5:58pm: I look over and Olive has completely dumped her
entire tray with all of her untouched food in the trashcan and is currently on
the countertop eating preztels.
6:02pm: I start to make something else for Olive to eat,
only to her Neela SCREAMING. Apparently, Titus told her the chicken nuggets
were some kind of vegetable. So she took a bite of the chicken nuggets and
immediately FLIPPED out. (Side note: that was pretty genius revenge on Neela
for being pushed out of his chair)
6:04pm: I just kind of yell for everyone to sit down and EAT
THEIR FOOD! (while cooking Olive more edamame beans)
6:08pm: Everyone is crying because either
1)
They hate the food
2)
I yelled
3)
Olive just put her dirty fork in their drink
6:10pm: I physically sort out the food they each HAVE to eat.
6:17pm: I try to make myself something to eat (more edamame
beans and pineapple rings) while listening to the screams of what sounds like
kids being dragged over hot coals while wearing pants made of fire. Really, the
pineapple looks “wet”.
6:21pm: I finally approve of all of the amount food that
everyone has eaten. So I turn around to
get my food and come back to the table to sit down to find an Titus literally
cracking eggs on the bare table top because “I’m going to make some brownies”.
6:24pm: I just give up on my dinner and start baths.
So yeah, no one is a pro all the time. I don’t care what anyone
says, no one feeds their kids the perfect food, keeps the cleanest house, keeps
their kids constantly engaged with educational and physically challenging
activities, and assures everyone that their kids are always well behaved and
polite.
If you know someone that actually claims that then they are
a liar and in reality, their breath probably smells like cheese.
So, don't judge yourself by other people's standards. Do your best and love your kids. Some spaghettios every one in while won't kill your kids; however, good luck getting that orange stain out of your plastic bowls ;)
-Seth
Oh my! Now that is reality! Love this post and anyone with kids who is honest has been there and done that!
ReplyDeleteSeth, you are doing an amazing job! We have 4 children as well... Currently 12,11,10,&9. Yes 4 kids in 36 months! I can remember the music to Wheel of future at night sounding like angels singing! That always ment kids were in the bed! Yes kids in bed by 7! I love reading your REAL LIFE STORIES! - AMBER LODGE
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