So let’s kind of pick up where we left of the last post
about parenting and my kids love languages. Lately, (I guess because of the
blog), people have been sending messages, texts, etc. about being a good and
fun dad. I think everyone enjoys hearing that stuff. So wanted to say a big
THANK YOU to everyone that’s send encouragement my way; however, I do feel bad
accepting that kind of stuff at times. Not because being a single parent isn’t
that much work, mostly I just firmly believe God really blessed me with the
coolest kids ever. Seriously, my kids are legit awesome. I think I talk about
how amazing my kids are WAY too much on this blog for some people.
I think that’s why I don’t really give parenting advice and
take the masses of parenting materials available with a grain of salt. I really
don’t have anything against people that study up and read about parenting;
honestly, to me they are the pro parents. Researching and putting countless
hours into reading and discussing their kids’ developments, needs, etc. So
please don’t get me wrong about that. If you don’t have kids yet, just wait.
There’s such an overload of materials available on parenting that it kind of
boggles my mind. If you are determined and have enough time, I'm sure it will be a mega help.
I found all the books I need to read.
Soon I will to know how to pack healthy after-school snacks for the kids
I guess like I said
it in the last post, I’m more of a big picture thinker when it comes to
parenting and life in general. (I think it drives people at work crazy
sometimes. Hahaha) I mean yeah, I am detail oriented at times and a
perfectionist in certain areas, but for the most part life just makes more
sense handling all aspects in a very general approach. Be Love and Give Love. That’s
pretty much it. I know that comes in a great variety of forms and is pretty much
different for every single person on earth. Which is why I’m not a big fan of
step-by-step or by the book parenting, I don’t think of my kids as guinea pigs
for my parenting strategies, but I do try to be fluid and relaxed in my various
approaches. Isn’t the adventure the real fun of it all… Just growing as a
family, making each other laugh, helping each other when we need help, and just
living the dream. The only way I’m going
to figure out how to do my family is doing my family. I'm a big fan of On The Job Training, baby.
Let me kind of break this down with a story. I know I repeat
myself a lot and don’t make sense half the time. Big picture thinker ;) hahaha.
So today was Halloween. A lot of people don’t like it, I get
that. No pressure here. Do what you think is best for you. However, my kids
love it. Typically, our costumes (and pretty much every event) go something
like this:
1)
I think of some crazy fun and crazy hard to
accomplish plan
2)
I pull the kids in and they just add to the
complexity of the situation
3)
I kind of just keep adding elements in my head,
and never actually starting anything until the night before.
4)
I stay up about 2 days straight the days before
and try to pull it off.
5)
It’s usually an epic event or a complete epic
failure.
·
I’m the Ricky Bobby of the event, costume,
party, and craft world
We're going to make this the most epic birthday party ever or
I'm going to accidentally set the cake on fire.
This Halloween was no different. Let’s break down the events
of the day. I woke up around 8:30am (I was so nice to sleep in); however, that
meant the kids had been up for about an hour or two and the house was being
slowly destroyed by each passing second. So I woke up to find, that Titus had
peed his bed the night before. I found out because he was being a pro son and
stripped the sheets off of his bed and threw them on top of the dirty clothes
pile. Unfortunately, the pile he draped the urine soaked sheets was a pile of 3
loads of clean laundry I did the night before and set out on the ground to
start folding before I passed out. So I woke up to find all my clothes had a
tangy, urine musk. Hahaha
So we had a “family meeting” about the day. Side note: My kids absolutely love “family
meetings”. We made our plan; I had
to run by the pharmacy and pick up a prescription, run by my work and grab the kid’s
costumes out of my office (I brought them up there by accident on Thursday),
buy a few bags of candy and come home. In my mind it sounded like an easy 3
stop trip and one that would avoid seeing a lot of people. So I let the kids
dress themselves and brush their own hair.
Pretty much how Olive's hair looked today while wearing
pajama pants, fluffy pink boots, and a size 7 spiderman shirt.
Around 9:30am we ate a quick breakfast and I loaded up my “barely
meeting DFACs clothing and grooming standards” children into my trashed minivan.
The trip started off good, a quick trip to Dollar General to buy some candy to
leave out for Trick or Treaters while we walked around the neighborhood. The
kids were excited and doing little things like dancing and singing in the
store. It was fun. So we loaded up for the second to last stop (or so I thought)
- my work. We were making great time,
all we had to do run up, grab the costumes, and head back out to the car. This
is where my day took a drastic change… We got up to my office and I noticed, “I
grabbed the wrong key ring!” I didn’t have keys to my office. So we walked around
looking for someone to unlock my office. No luck. The girls are crying because
I can’t get to their costumes. In my head, I had to make a choice… Do I make
the trip back home to Hahira (a 20-25 minute one way trip) or do we just wing
it and start with something new?
This is why I don’t trust parenting experts, my kids and I
get into so many crazy situations there’s no way a book could tell me what I
needed to know at that moment. Plus, life’s an adventure, just run with it. So
what we did do? “FAMILY MEETING!! What
do you guys want to do?” Of course, they decided on making new costumes. I
figured why not, they are only kids once, let’s do something fun today and make
some costumes. Neela said she wanted to be a Shopkins (no clue what that is),
but I said ok. Stevie wanted to be Link again (from Legend of Zelda. She was Link
last year, but we donated it besides the sword and shield). Titus wanted to be
Figaro (Minnie Mouse’s cat) because Olive was going to be Minnie Mouse. Side
note- I thought that was the kindest thing ever, just a big brother wanting to
make his little sister happy. So we made
a plan. Let’s go to Walmart and get everything there.
So there we were Stop #3 Walmart. You would think that
costume isle was holding gold bricks or something. I’ve never been one to buy
costumes, so I didn’t know what to expect, people were getting crazy over some
costumes. “You touch that ‘Size 4t Cute Pirate Buccaneer’ costume and I will
suffocate you with this white plastic bag that I got from the deli when I
ordered my fried okra”.
Naw man. I saw this last My Little Pony costume and it’s
mine. I will look perfect in it.
We were literally getting shoved looking at costumes. I don’t
do well in those situations. Not that I get angry, I just try to talk to people
and help or calm people down. Granted that NEVER works, but I guess it’s just gut
instinct. Luckily, I spotted a “Shopkins” thing on the shelf and grabbed and
raced to the checkout. I didn’t see anything green for Stevie’s Link, so I
figured we could make one more stop.
We got in the car and I remembered, “Crap, I gotta fill this
prescription”, so I ran to Publix to drop it off and fill it up. We pulled up
at stop #4 Publix, walked in, let the kids get a free cookie, and then walked
over to the pharmacy. Well, apparently the pharmacist was sick and they had
that place closed off like Fort Knox. So I just sighed and loaded to kids back
up. We drove to stop #5 Walgreens to fill this prescription. I remembered my window doesn’t roll down, so
we unloaded and went inside to drop off this prescription. It seemed pretty
slow and not too busy, however they told me it would take 2 hours to fill, so I
just figured I would pick it up tomorrow. We loaded back up into the car and
the kids told me they were thirsty and I needed gas anyways, so we went to the
gas station stop #6. The kids and I unloaded and went inside. I made everyone
go use the bathroom since we were all inside. Stevie and Neela are being big
helpers with Olive and the potty lately. So I send them in to go and help their
little sister and send Titus to pee in the boy’s room. I just held it. Didn’t you know? Parents only get to pee like 6 times a
week. ;) Titus started yelling about being out of toilet paper, so I ran in
and there was none in the other stall. I was going to run up to the front but
the line was crazy long and there was only one worker. So I banged on the girls
bathroom and asked them to bring me some toilet paper. It took a while, but
finally Stevie handed me out some. I gave it to Titus and continued to wait in
the hallway. Titus strolled out and after a few minutes the girls came
screaming and bolting out of the bathroom. Apparently, Olive had pooped but was
too scared to flush the potty (she Hates loud flushes). So Stevie tried to
flush it for her and she slapped her hand away, lost her balance, and her butt
fell into the toilet with the poop and was stuck. Neela thought it was
hilarious and dying laughing about Olive’s poop butt and Stevie was freaking
out. So I ask Stevie if there are any other girls in there through the door.
She says no. So I cautiously enter only to see a woman’s feet in the other
stall. Crap. So I just walk back out and try to explain how to pull her sister
out of the toilet and wipe her butt. Well, she got her out but refused to wipe
the poop off.
"Olive... you nasty."
I don’t blame her it was disgusting. I can only imagine what that lady
was thinking in the other stall with me yelling through the door. So I talked
Neela and Stevie into pulling up her panties and then her pants. Olive strolled
out of the bathroom with that “poop in your butt, just got off a horse” walk. I
took all of them into the men’s room and all went into a stall. I threw away Olive’s
poop covered panties, wiped her butt, and let her commando the rest of the day…
We bought drinks and gas and loaded back up.
Then we headed to the Dollar Tree (stop #6). I remembered
seeing some green shirts and beanies in there recently, so I thought it might
be an easy fix. So we parked, unloaded, and walked in. There were no green
things in the store we could use. However, my parents gave each of my kids a
dollar and they really wanted to spend it. I reminded them of the time, but
then I reminded myself that I don’t want to be caught up “planning fun” that I
miss the opportunity to let my kids “have fun”. So they each picked some little
animal toy and were super stoked out them. We got to the checkout line to find
one cashier and 8 people ahead of me in line. We were patient and waited kindly
on the lady a few spots in front of us buying a million fragile items that had to
be individually wrapped in newspaper.
After waiting in line about 10 minutes, another worked
walked over to another register and typed in something real quick and was just
standing there. So I got the kids, stepped out of line, and asked if she was
opening her register. She told me no, she was clocking out and there would only be
one line open. So I went to get back in my spot only to find the people behind
me just moved up and took my spot. I kind of hinted about getting back in my
spot and doing everyone a favor in trying to find out about another checkout line, but they just pointed to the back of the line. I was about to just walk
out of the store, but I looked at my kids. They were each playing and laughing with their
little animals, so we just stepped to the back of the line. They were obvious to the stress; my kids were just having fun and being kids. So finally, we checked
out and left. We hadn’t made any progress in Stevie’s or Titus’s costume. So we
loaded back up in the van, so I could think of a game plan.
I sat there for a minute and decided to make the short trip
to Target (stop #7). We drove their unloaded, walked in, and didn’t find a
single thing. By this time, I was getting a little frustrated about how the day
was going. “I should have just driven home and gotten my work keys” I kept
telling myself. However, the kids were hungry and I had a little cash, so we
decided to get a little lunch. So we loaded up and drove to Wendy’s (stop #8).
We just kind of just all sat around and hung out eating chicken nuggets. I had
to admit I was a little on edge, due to the fact that I still had to bathe all
the kids, clean the house a little, and set up for trick or Treaters that night
and we were still down 2 costumes (I remembered we had an old Minnie costume,
Olive could wear). But finally towards the end of the meal, I loosened up and
we had a good time. Before we got up to eat, Titus reminded me that I didn’t
need to buy him a costume, because we had the cat costume Aunt April gave us a
few months ago and he wanted to wear that one. Praise God! Only one more
costume to go!!
We finished up eating and I was brainstorming about how to
finish Stevie’s costume. And then it hit me! I saw this ocarina (a little flute
thing that Link plays in Zelda) a few months back in Hobby Lobby and that if we
got that, she would be cool with doing home and just wearing a green VBS t-shirt
she already had and she just wouldn’t have a hat. So we loaded up and headed up
for stop #9 Hobby Lobby. It was just a really refreshing feeling when I
realized that I was stressing out way too much over these stupid costumes and I
needed to just enjoy my kids. We got to
Hobby Lobby and walked to the back to find one more Ocarina left and it was
BLUE, the same color as Link has in the game. She was so ecstatic! Stevie
agreed to not have a hat and just wear her VBS shirt; however when we were
walking to the front, I spotted a lady with a buggy full of green shirts. So I
asked her where she got them and she pointed to the back of the store. Well, wouldn’t
you know, we found a perfect green shirt and a green bandanna. At the checkout
line, my cashier told me everything I had was on sale and my total for all three
things was like 7 bucks. We were all happy and all in a good mood.
So we loaded up and headed home. When I looked down at the
clock, I realized that it had been well over two hours since we dropped the
prescription off and we could pick them up. I asked the kids if they would
mind, and they said they were happy playing with their new toys in the car. So
I pulled up to the drive thru pickup. Of course, right when I pulled up to the
window I remembered my window doesn’t roll down, so I was going to have to open
my door. The pharmacy worker opened the little pop out door for me to give her
my insurance card and credit card for buying the prescription; however, I
noticed when she did that, that I was parked too close and my door couldn’t
open because of the little pop out pharmacy box. So I pulled up a tiny bit and
was going to reverse back and give myself a little more room so I could open my
door and reach the little box. However, when I pulled up the person behind me
pulled up right behind me. So there I was too far up to reach the box while
sitting in the car. By now my day had been long enough I wasn’t really stressing
anymore. I just opened my door and wedged myself between my van and the outside
of the pharmacy. I’m leaning over the little pop out window trying to explain
that “Yes, my insurance is valid and it has not been cancelled”. The lady
couldn’t really hear me well, nor could I see her since I was awkwardly doing a
side lean to speak to her and I couldn’t talk to her face to face because my
van was blocking me from doing that. She kept trying to ask about my insurance
and all of a sudden I busted out laughing. Like laughing hysterically. I can’t really explain it, but just the thought of me in this current predicament was just too funny. The lady in the car behind me is fire mad and the
cashier is beyond confused at this guy who is wedged between his van and the
wall laughing while trying to pick up some antibiotics.
She kept
asking me things and every time I couldn’t understand her I laughed even
harder. I couldn’t really bend over laughing since I was stuck standing straight
up as a board due to being pinned. Finally, she just did something with her
computer, gave me the medicine, and asked me to please use their walk-in
service next time I used their pharmacy. We got home, decorated a little, clean
a little, got our costumes on and had a great day.
I tell that story to explain my view on parenting. Everyone
I know would have made different choices and handled things a different way. We're humans and have our own values and opinions. There’s not a really book on “How to talk your child through the process of
unplugging her sister’s butt from a public restroom toilet”. Sometimes my kids
and I take go around our elbow to get to knee, but as long as they are having
fun, feeling loved, and showing love, I think that’s all that matters. I’m sure
I broke pretty much every health eating tip, child scheduling rule, was too
passive in avoiding conflict, and had my kids going all over town with me
today, but I think I just do what feels right in the moment. Tonight,
when I asked the kids what their favorite part of the day was besides getting
candy, they all agreed it was watching Stevie get her ocarina. After that long day,
they still found the good in the craziness.
Neela - "Shopkins"
Still no clue what this is
Olive and Titus - Minnie Mouse and her cat Figaro
Stevie - Link playing the Ocarina
Seth - Nerd... Not too much of a stretch
Wow, this is really long. I’ll continue with the the kids' love
languages soon :)
Be Blessed,
Be Blessed,
Seth
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