Wednesday, September 30, 2015

"Lights out" - Dad time

Dinner- check
Baths- check
One on one time- check
Prayers and bed- check
2-3 kids sneaking into my bed- Check
Finding Titus trying making soup and dad coming in to clean up the mess-Check
Second Bedtime warning-Check
Singing Stevie her goodnight song for the 5th time- Check
Explaining why bedtime is vital to four seemingly shocked children on the concept of sleep- Check
Putting all of Neela’s critter catches of the day outside- Check
Getting everyone in my bed their own blanket so they will stop fighting for covers- Check
Third Bedtime Plea- Check
Just onnnneeee more funny story about goats- Check
Kids asleep- Check

So all my kids are asleep. What to do? One method I have used to keep my sanity is I try to switch it up every night. Some nights, I will catch up on some work for my job. Others, I will do laundry. Another night, I might write up a blog post (like tonight). Or maybe just stare at the wall and wonder  things like “Did they name orange (the fruit) after orange (the color) or name orange (the color) because  the fruit is colored orange. If so, why didn’t they name the color carrot. You can’t rhyme anything with ‘orange’. It doesn’t work well for poems. Carrot has so many more things to rhyme with: ‘parrot’, ‘carat’, ‘ferret’.  ” Who knows J Every night is an adventure.

Although, I try to switch up my nightly routine, there are some things that are bound to take place every night. First, I have to walk around and pick up the 137 stuffed animals scattered around on my floor. Then, step on at least 3 tiny, sharp toys I'm guessing the kids set out to test from reaction time in case of a medical emergency. Next, wash dishes. I hate having dirty dishes in the sink, and for some reason my kids are convinced they can’t use the same cup more than one time before it has to be completely washed, rinsed, and dried. So they tend to pile up quickly. After the dishes are done, I’ll do a visual walk through of the house to see the damage of the day.

I think I'll leave these tiny, pointy metal monopoly game pieces right here in the hallway.
I bet that will help dad remember to buy those Mario bandaids we've been asking for.

 Tonight’s walk through consisted of flushing down Titus’s big after dinner turd he was too excited to flush. He’s gonna be mad when he see’s it’s gone. He wanted people to come and see it. Don’t worry people, I took a picture of it for him (pro-dad).  Olive found some kind of sticky slap hand thing from the dollar store and threw it into the big girls bedroom ceiling fan (while it was on), so I spend a little time unraveling that snotty feeling green slimy thing from the fan blades. While I am in the girls room, I accidentally step and break Neela’s bluebird catching trap. (She is CONVINCED her next pet is going to be a bluebird), so we made a nest for it to live in and a "safe" trap to catch one. The trap consisted of a laundry hamper, acorns, some tube socks, and a shower rod. She’s convinced she will be seeing some major bird action with this thing, so I fix it back real quick. Finally, I check the living room. I find Titus asleep on the couch asleep holding a pack of ramen noodles. Why? No clue…

I can't even...

Tonight (before I sat down to write this post) I got on the computer for a little bit, then finished up cleaning my junk drawers in the kitchen. We always start off with “a junk drawer”. Our junk drawer always seems to develop into a symbiotic organism capable of multiplying itself like an unwanted virus. The trick about junk drawers is it’s pretty much 90% trash, but the other 10% consists of important documents, letters, keys, money, etc. So it really has to be sorted out. I thought about taking a picture of the before and after, but then I figured it would probably be best to keep that image private. Facebook would probably flag it as an offensive post anyways, but of the sheer terror the piled up on the floor next to me. I’m sort of convinced that the kids think these drawers are extra trash cans for storing the extra weird things that are just too special to throw in the real trash can. I’m guessing they kind view the trashcan/junk drawer comparison like the toilet/bidet relationship. Yes they have different purposes, but the bidet such a luxury they throw the normal trash away first and save the junk drawer to place the special items in. Let’s go over what I found in my junk drawer(s) tonight:

·         2 unused checkbooks covered in elmer’s glue
·         A sock stuffed with Christmas lights
·         3 half eaten ring pops
·         One flip flop
·         A dead lizard
·         3 decapitated Littlest Pet Shop toys
·         A kazoo (not idea where they got a kazoo)
·         Neela’s apparently undelivered valentine’s from last year
·         A random ziplock bag of hair
·         “A Walk to Remember” VHS tape
·         7 flashlights
·         A half empty bottle of goldfish flake food
·         Olive’s Minnie Mouse Toy Microphone wrapped up in fishing line and painted with glitter fingernail polish

The Bag of Hair
Yes. This is real hair. 
And no. No one in our house has this color hair.

Actually, Neela just woke up and is asking me to make her a scrambled egg. So I guess that’s it for this post.

Be blessed

1 comment:

  1. I am starting to feel like Titus and I may have some similar interests. I too wish I had a hole in my pants for easy pee access and I would totes cuddle up with some Ramen. Although I prefer oriental flavor ;)