So I don’t exactly know what my love life looks like in the future. Will I meet someone and remarry? If I do marry, have I already met my wife or will I meet her later? How do I date with four children? If I ever did date, how would I find the time? Why does the thought of dating absolutely terrify me? What kind of person would I even be interested in? Speaking of finding someone, will this mole on my arm ever stop growing that one hair that grows like an inch a month?
Not my mole, but you get the idea. We all have one. Don't front ;)
However, there are a few things I can plan out. Mostly, just how I plan on doing things with parenting wise when my kids get older. I don’t want to sound like I have these legit answers on how to deal with teenagers, Hahaha. No way. I just want to ensure that my kids have some of the same experiences that a lot of us shared growing up. Experiences that will shape their lives. I’ve heard a lot of great advice on how to deal with teenagers and honestly, I am terrified of my kids turning into teenagers. I’m a little nervous about losing my little girls and my best buddy. But I do have enough faith in God and my kids that we will always have an open and caring relationship. I do, however, understand that friends and mostly the opposite sex will be an issue in the near future. There are just certain rights of passage that people should go through. For example, the more I work with technology, the more of a conflicting relationship I develop with it. I love the professional and academic uses. As far as personal uses, I like the fact that I can send pictures and information out to whoever I want. I like seeing people’s faces from across the globe; however, I am really starting to dislike the complete lack of human interaction our society is developing. My point is when my kids get older; I am going to try to allow them some sort of freedom while at the same time ensuring they develop through social situations like we did growing up.
I think my biggest thing is I am somewhat shocked at the age boys and girls are starting to “talk” now. Imagine this next part in my old grandpa voice… Back in my day, if you liked a girl, you had to physically call her on the phone. If you didn’t have a cordless phone, you had to take the kitchen phone and stretch that wire all the way into the pantry and close the door. After a few minutes, the pantry would start to smell like a combination of rye bread and pre-pubescent nervous sweat. Honestly though, it wasn’t talking in the pantry or even in front of your family that was the worst. It was who might pick up on the other end. Nothing to a young man is more terrifying than the thought of your love interest’s father picking up the phone. Typically my conversations with potential pre-teen love interests went like this:
You want to talk to MY daughter??!!
I will grind your teeth into powder
Seth: Calls girl’s number, hangs up.
Seth: Calls girl’s number again, hangs up.
Seth: Looks around pantry. Finds a pop-tart. Eats said pop-tart.
Seth: (emboldened with pastry power): Calls girl’s number one more time. The whole time thinking “Please God, don’t let her dad pick up, Please God, don’t let her dad pick up”
Deep Man’s Voice: Hullo
Seth: too paralyzed with fear to speak
Deep Man’s Voice: HULLO?!
Seth: is Jenny there?
Deep Man’s Voice: WHAT? I can't hear you speak up!
Seth: Can I speak to Jenny please?
Deep Man’s Voice: TALK LOUDER OR I'M HANGING UP!
Seth: Oh ok… Sorry. Is Jenny there?
Deep Man’s Voice: Yes. She is here. What do you want?
Seth: I'm sorry. Can I please speak with her?
Deep Man’s Voice: What is your name and how do you know my daughter?
Seth: My name is Seth. I know her from school. She’s in my Algebra class.
Deep Man’s Voice: Is this call related to a school project?
Seth: (gulp) No sir.
Deep Man’s Voice: Well then Seth, why are you calling my daughter?
Seth: To talk?
Deep Man’s Voice: HAHAHAHA. No thanks. *click
Seth: I understand. Than… Oh, he hung up. Crap... I wonder if we have anymore pop-tarts.
Every guy should have to go through that I think. If the boy isn’t mature enough to talk to a girl’s dad. He isn’t mature enough to “talk” to that girl. My favorite story about meeting my first “dad” happened when I was in 8th grade. I had this crush on a little girl Brittany in my class. That quickly faded into a wonderful friendship that lasted through high school and still to this day. (What up B-ster? J ) Anyways, so I had a little crush. I remember being SO pumped about being in her group for this little class assignment. We lived a few miles away, so I remember working up the courage to ask her if she wanted to work on this assignment after school. She said “sure”. So all day, I was stoked and nervous about to puke all over my polo t-shirt, umbro shorts, and Adidas sandals with matching socks.
Whatca know about 90's fashion?
When I got home, I jumped on my bike and rode a few miles to her house. When I got there, I saw her in the garage. I was so excited. So as I walked around the corner into her garage, I see her dad dirty and sweaty working on his motorcycle. Brittany said, “Dad this is Seth. He’s here to work on a school project.” Immediately as the words came out of her mouth, her mom opened the door and said “Brittany, your grandma’s on the phone.” So she just walked inside and left me and her dad alone. I literally just stood there; pretty much terrified of this guy who clearly despised the fact I was at his house. It was just me and him for about 15 minutes. I was desperately trying to think of something to say, but everything was just fading away in my brain. About every 2-3 minutes or so, he would stop working on his bike, turn his head and look at me. We would make eye contact, and he would just grimace, squint his eyes, and go back to the bike. Also every know and then, he would just do this manly grunt. It was clear who the Alpha male was in this situation. After about 10 minutes, I finally managed to muster the words “So do you like motorcycles?" Upon hearing me speak, he kind of let out a super heavy sigh, hung his head, put his tools down, went to the door to the house, and yelled “Brittany, get out here and do something with this boy!” He turned around and just kind looked at me completely disgusted as walked over to his bike. I just kind of let myself in after this.
My best bud Brittany and the man, the myth, the legend Larry
Over the years as me and Brittany become close friends. Larry and I became good friends too. I love the whole Lorden family. Brittany was my best buddy through high school (we still talk and she is legit the coolest J), her sister Heather got me my first job ever at Atlanta Bread Company and is hilarious, Marcia always made her she made enough banana pudding at holidays for me to drop by and eat some with them and actually we worked together at my first real “career” job at Wiregrass GA Tech, and Larry is just the most hilarious person you will ever meet. He’s super chill and laid back. However, one time I did ask to borrow his Tombstone VHS tape and he looked at me with the same intensity as he did all those years ago and without cracking a smile, he said “I love this tape. If you break it, I will break you... I freaking love that guy.
I don’t blame him though. Tombstone is legit.
I think everyone boy should have to do this. Talking to a dad is a rite of passage. I, for sure as heck, didn’t go through all of that with the little girls I had crushes on for some punk kid to Snapchat my kid without going through me. When my kids start middle school, my son will call and speak to parents before any girl he is interested in. My girls will only date boys who are respectful enough to talk to me first. I know these little flings won’t lead to marriage; however, I want my kids to know I am fully committed to watching over them (even when they despise my actions). I’m still learning and praying on how to parent. I don’t want to smother them, but I also want them to understand their value. They also need to be confident that dad has got their back and understands how much of a treasure they are. Let’s be honest, I have some good lookin’ kids. Titus is super handsome and such a little charmer. He is going to know how to treat women with respect. Even now he is learning to always hold the door and the girls always get to go in the car first. Just little things like that. I want a raise a Godly man and awesome husband and dad. I want him to understand the honest value of a wife and be a servant leader in his family. He’s clearly already spotted the physical beauty of a lady ;) Now I have three girls who are just strikingly beautiful. It’s not just because the fact that they are my babies, so they are pretty because they are mine. I honestly believe these three girls are drop dead gorgeous, stunning beauties. There’s no way that I am not going to try my best to train them up to realize how much of a treasure they are. Just like their brother, they need to be respectful of boys they are interested in. They need to find people who love their kind hearts, hilarious sense of humor, their amazingly sharp minds and their love of life not just their beautiful faces. (It’s clear I’m a dad. Most of this stuff is clearly from a man’s point of view. Sorry ladies). Each of my kids is amazing and have so much to offer the world. If they choose to get married and have children, then I think that’s amazing. If they choose not to and pursue other life dreams, then I trust that they will make the right choices as adults. However, as kids and teenagers, I do believe they need to be taught to respect themselves and others.
Not trying to brag, but look at dem babies.
As for me, I have no clue where, when, who, or what my romantic life might look like. It’s definitely a big decision that requires a lot of patience and prayer. Right now, I’m just living my dream of being a dad. I truly desire to marry again one day. I LOVED being a husband. I love being romantic at times, funny at times, a helper at times, and being someone’s best friend. I’ve shared that once before. It was amazing for the most part; however, that got stolen from me. I want those things back, but I’m just waiting on the right person at the right time. God’s got my back. I’m positive I will be fine. Seriously though, what woman could resist this? Hahaha, don’t answer that one ;)